triggering motivational reminders (10/12/24)

 - think of what your body looks like/looked like. think of your current weight and how much you gained (suspected ~186 lbs)

- think of the calories in the foods you crave. see food as numbers.

- think of how you're perceived, how other people see you (also works for skin)

- think of how you used to walk around disheveled in highschool, how you were over 200 lbs and looked a mess. how you used to be a "princess". compare how you look now & in hs to your toddler self.

- compare yourself to jess and other skinnier prettier girls in your life. think of the teen years you never had and still don't because of your looks.

- visualize yourself still being the exact same weight by new years eve.

- think of the food - the sugar, the salt, the oil - poisoning your insides and adding onto your fat

- visualize the fat in your body, in all it's yellow slimy sticky glory, ruining your potential good looks

- think of how the bad eating habits & sleep influence your adhd (and your skin)

sept. 27 --> oct. 7

sept. 27

- 6am-allnighter: cup noodles

   ~ schleep ~

-  mixed hot chips

- molten chocolate cake w/ caramel & vanilla ice cream (mid) little bit of melted chocolate that tastes like plastic and broken dreams

- container: (didn't finish) small portion pasta, pizza, (?)

- pb tasting possibly

sept. 28

- remaining container: sandwich w/ bacon and avocado, fish fillet(tilapia?), cubed dessert thing i think tastes like apple spice&cinnamon?, potato slices

- yogurt

- container: brownie, fries, hot dog w/ ketchup & mustard, small portion fruit: cantaloupe & honeydew,?, bites of pizza, bites of chicken, (didn't finish container)

- post 9pm: remaining atkins shake

sept. 29

- 😬mixed hot chips, twix, cheez-its

- mandarin orange cups

- matcha iced latte w/ sweet foam (mom's recipe)

- small fruit bowl: cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple & water

~

- choc drizzled white crispie treat i saved from the cafeteria DAYSS ago

- remainder of container: pizza & like saucy one chicken piece lol

- tiny taste of pb

~ 1:50+ am: yogurt, mandarin orange cup

- twix bar :(, coffee candy piece, small sip of atkins, ricola

sept. 30

- matcha iced latte recipe (~300)

- ~ long period no food till like ~7:50ish ~ -

- snickerdoodle cookie, container: two types of pasta, one green and tasted pretty good, other ribbon shaped also good but dry, cucumbers, slice of pizza

- ~11:40pm ish - twix :/

- ~ 4:50 am ish - atkins shake (10/1/2024)

oct 1

- melted haribo gummy (5-6), caramel, 2(3?) rice crispie 

- dave's hot chicken: sandwich w/ sauce, honey packet, &mild sauce, fries, mac & cheese

- twix

- twizzler

- sour roll up candy, hard candy ring, twizzler, hi-chew, milky way

- atkins shake

- mandarin cup

oct 2

- 1 pc coffee candy, pc of japanese melon candy

- ~ pretty long period of no real food

- chili hot dog w/ cheeto dust, fries, small lasagna, couple bites of gnocchi (tasted like nothing)

- din-din: slice of pizza, cucumbers, canataloupe/honeydew/grapes, apple, bites of chicken(unfinished)

- cheez-its, snickers bar

oct. 3

- 2 haribo gummy packets (like 4 more through-out the day)

- 1/2 kind pb bar (fell on the floor), dark choc kind bar, another pb one later in the day

- dryish cheese angel hair pasta thing, bites of weird saucy pasta/grain/dish thing?, fish fillet, 1/2 a slider

- pastry thing, ice cream cone

- possibly: lasanga portion, pizza (?), pasta - could be compl

- 2 monsters (didn't finish 2nd one) 1 strawberry dreams smth, other ultra fantasy ruby red (~20)

  - (didn't do as much for my appetite as i'd hoped... prolly shoulda chugged both)

- burger, big (and delicious) ice cream cone from movie night then back to practice

- caramel pc

- popcorn w/ added caramel and butter seasonings, burger #2 while watching last few minutes of C.R.A movie and then finished in dorm

- (cold)burger #3 while pacing around... like okay onika

oct 4

- leftover popcorn

~

- ~6:30pm-ish: fruit plate: cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes, nature valley crumbles, small portion of pasta, water

- naptime: (started @ 7.. didn't rlly fall asleep till after 8 and got up after 9:30)

- 10ish: leftover piece of saucy chicken

- 11:30ish: pb&j

  ~4:43-458/9: elliptical (felt slightly euphoric)

oct 5

- small water bottles w/ mio shots (60mg caffeine each - abt 2-3 servings) *+*

- yogurt w/ strawberries (104 cals)

- cafeteria: small portion lucky charms, small portion rice & shrimp

- chocolatey chip cookie 

- salted caramel cream cold brew (190 cals) *+*

- ~

- ice cream cone, container: 1/2 hot dug bun w/ light chili inside, few fries, 2-4 bites of fish, few fries, small portion of (very good) pasta, 1 1/2 - 2 chicken tenders, 2 snicker doodle cookies

- watermelon spear

- 2 buzzballs (~456 cals) 😬

- 10k+ steps

~ finished off container: other 1/2 chili hot dog bun, 2nd chicken tender, few fries, rest of fish

- twix, peanut m&m's

oct. 6 / riccola at some point

- lunch plate: small portion pasta, bites of enchildada thing(+sauces), few potato pieces, egg dish thing, few black beans, fruit bowl: grapes, cantaloupe, cucumbers (don't think i finished) ~snickerdoodle cookie (possibly)

- ~ long time no eat

- cafeteria dinner (can't remember) - possibly slice of pizza, 

- some of lean cuisine (i think that shit was rotten)

- watermelon spear

- kitkat bar

- skittles

oct 7

- salmon (300 cals)

- 2 caramel pcs

- kind bar pb & dark choc

- tonkotsu ramen

- 1 slice pizza

- taco bell: quesadilla, big cheez it / animal frosted cracker cookies

- sprite, funyuns

---

class starts at 1:30!!!!

1:30 !!!!!!

!! not 1:20, tho u know that and it's your leaving time but your brain keep saying the class starts are 1:20 it is 1:30 !!!! it ends at 4:20

Atomic Habits plan

Habit building can overlap (if not overwhelming)

-

Weight Loss:

1. No eating after 9pm (brush teeth to signify the end of eating time).

~ duration: ideally 7-9 days but should be done until I get used to it~

2. (if haven't establish already) fruit bowl + VEGGIES before every meal OR rather small portion of whatever I crave + portion of fruit & veggie

3. No eating between 3-4pm

4. Hydroflask routine

5. No eating between 3-5pm

6. Gym every other day/ Dorm workout every other day

7. No eating between 2-5pm

8. (if you haven't already) buy groceries and start preparing your own meals [reduce cafeteria eating to 2x a week only]

9. No eating between 2-6pm

10. No eating between 1-6pm

11. No eating after 7pm.

12. Reduce lunch to 400 calories.

13. Reduce dinner to 400 calories.

--

Skin/Beauty/Hygiene

1. Skincare everyday at 9 am (with or without shower) + SUNSCREEN!!

2. Hair oiling

3. Regular body hair grooming

4. Shower daily

5. Body blemish management

6. 6 separate hrs of productivity a day (split into two sections of 3)

other habits pending: eating fruit bowl before every meal (NEED to pay more attention to fullness signals, STOP stuffing yourself for the sake of it pleaassee before you ruin ur eating signals even more)

sept. 17 --> sept. 26

 sept. 17

- 6:25~ am: small frenchbread pizza

- chocolate drizzy rice crispie, possible: caramels, gummies(i don't think so)

- lunch: chicken wrap thingy with hot sauce in it, 2 types of pasta (small portions), shredded beef w/ rice(small portion)

- burger, s.p. mashed potatoes, 1 snickerdoodle cookie, 1 choc. chip, lil bit of coleslaw, hard garlic bread, piece of grilled chicken

sept. 18

- remaining bite of chicken

- breakfast: small portion of (2) types of pasta, meatball thingy, plain pasta (small portion, like 5 noodles), fruit: grapes, pineapple, honeydew (~last 2 tasted plain as hell)

- 1 pc of starburst

- 1 big original rice crispie

- fruit bowl: grapes, pineapple, honeydew

- some more of the sauce/cheese pasta (ate like 3 pieces)

- small portion rice, beans, & beef

- mixed fruit gush gummies (200)

- pizza

sept. 19 - ~12k steps

- 1 pc coffee candy

- motts gummies, 1 choc. drizzle rice crispie, 3-5 caramels

- linner: portion of mac type pasta, like 2 bow noodles, bites of chicken thing, mini-fruit bowl: pineapple, cantaloupe, grapes

- grandma creme cookies

- popeyes chicken sandwich

- (extra 3 caramels & motts gummies in my bag)

- mixed fruit gummies

sept. 20

- breakfast: tortilla chips w/ shredded chicken saucy thing & small black beans, mac&cheese thing that had a hint of hot sauce, fruit bowl: grapes, pineapple, cantaloupe, choc chip cookie with bits of m&m

- peanut butter cookies

~6-7 hrs later~

- 2 caramels, 2 coffee candies, 1 pink sprinkled donut

sept. 21 ~185 lbs (w/ clothes & pad - on carpeted floor: 180.4 lbs, on wooden nightstand: 187, in bathroom: 185)

- water + vyvanse first thing in the morning

- 4:47 pm: fruit bowl - grapes, cantaloupe / coffee w 2 sweeteners & drop of soy milk / tiny portions of 2 different pasta (barely ate one), chicken breast with red sauce on it, chicken wrap thing with white cause on it | est calories; fruit bowl(~50-100), coffee(~30), chicken (~200), the pastas combined(~200), the wrap (~250) = 730 estimated... possible overestimation | 

- atkins strawberry shake(150)

- pb tasting (~200)

- lean cuisine ravioli (250)

sept 22

- breakfast: oatmeal w/ added (brown?) sugar & soy milk, small quesadilla thing, soup + 2 crackers, small portion rice & beef, fruit bowl: grapes, cantaloupe, cucumber, + crunchy tortilla thig w/ breans & egg

- taste of pb

- dinner: 2 different types of pasta small portion, enchilada thingy(nasty), fruit bowl: grapes, cantaloupe, pineapple (didn't finish all the pineapple) + bites of brownie (didn't finish, mid.)

- mixed fruit gummies

- sips of atkins shake

~no eat after 9pm: successful✅

sept. 23

- small portion mac&cheese, small portion of lasagna (didn't finish either), small fruit bowl: cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes (didn't finish

- remaining mixed fruit gummies

- tiny pizza slice, small chicken half slider(the piece of chicken inside was genuinely small, m&m? cookie, 2nd slice of pizza (didn't finish), small piece of frosted cake thingy w/ choc chip in it (didn't finish)

- togo: 2 slices pizza, fries, small portion of pasta

- remaining sip of atkins shake

sept 24

- container(?), small portion of rie + (weird tasting) rice

- taste of pb

- @ around 1:30am, broke 9pm rule :/ taco bell: big cheez it toastada, nachos

sept 25

- pasta/lasagna thing, chicken wings (2), bite of egg roll, ice cream cone, bite of chocolate cake (mid)

- field trip: lunch box - cookie, chips, xtra: hello panda, piece of brownie, piece of cookie, deja blue canned purified water (yammi!)

 ~ later from same lunch box: sandwich, rest of chips (finished @ night - stopped eatin at around (9:10)

- taste of pb

sept 26

- black forest gummy juicy burst

- meatball sub thing (small) x2 :/ didn't rlly finished the 2nd one i thing, 2 salted caramel cookies, small portion pasta, diet coke (didn't finish)

~ . - monster ultra (10 cals - 150 mg caffeine)

- @ around 9:30-10pm (took a long ahh time: popeyes chicken sandwich w/ cheese + honey packet & mild sauce packet

- sip of atkins shake

- taste of pb 

all-nighter~~~~ 6:00am + on Friday morning: cup noodles / successfully stopped eating after 9? sorta

shopping list for further notice..

- pore strips

- nuts

- fish

- chicken

-fish oil tablets

- veggies

- bananas

- avocados

- low cal bread or just regular bread

- sparkling ice

- gum

- possibly: apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, coffee, tea, cottage cheese, tuna

"Cravings At Bay" concept plan | Sept. 12 (~11/10 possibly)

This plan aims to prioritize mental stimulation and prevent overeating by both keeping my brain stimulated and my stomach "full enough". 

Morning - Afternoon:

- first thing, take Vyvanse

- First meal: Main source of protein + fruit & veggies | Can also be a small portion of desired food + larger portion of necessary food | FULL glass of water

sept. 6 --> sept. 16

sept. 6

- coffee, lucky charms (most likely)

- 

- 

- ate 2 slices of pizza very fast before practice(this was actually on the 5th)

- nutragrain

- nature valley protein bar

sept. 7

- lucky charms(focused on eating marshmallows), scrambled eggs, chicken tenders, oreo pancakes w/ whip cream & syrup

- salmon & potato wedges w/ ketchup, diet coke

- peanut butter cookies

- 1 pc of coffee candy

sept. 8

- peanut butter cookie (  cals)

- 1 pc of coffee candy

- avocado & egg sandwich, chicken salad w/ ranch & tofu, banana, coke zero

- ~ (5-7 hrs later) broccoli & cheddar soup, apple, pulled pork, mini side salad w/ shredded carrots & tofu, 

- cheezits (210 cals)

- peanut butter (~300-360)

sept. 9

- omlette (spinach, cheese, & pork sausage), lucky charms

- motts gummies

- rice crispie drizzle

- minestrone soup, 2 crackers, yogurt w/ granola & dried cranberries, coke zero

- remaining glucerna

- metamucil (~50)

- | post 12 am | - 1/2 pb&j, full pb&j :/

sept. 10

- motts gummies (3x overall today or possibly 4)

- 1/2 chicken slider w/ ketchup, small side of pasta, lettuce & shredded carrots(didn't finish) & 4 cucumbers, pizza slice, coke zero

- nut bar

- candies: small twizzler, tootsie roll, jolly rancher

- taco bell: chicken quesadilla, slider w/ creamy jalapeno, mild sauce packets

- cheezits

- peanut butter cookies

sept. 11

- cheeseburger, diet coke, gnocchi pasta(yammy)

-~ no eat for like 7 hrs

- ice cream cone, 1/2 slider (chicken burger?) serving of 2 types of pasta, apple

nighttime:

- almost finished togo plate of fruit (grapes, cantaloupe, honeydew), small portion of scrambled boiled eggs, and cucumbers shredded carrots

- drank glucerna shake

- taste of pb

mouth watering cravings seems to have returned... didn't incorporate fidgeting.

sept. 12 (immediate relapse)

- matcha iced latte recipe

- taco bell: chicken quesadilla, taco

- bites of remaining fruit/veggie & egg i believe? from yesterday

probably: peanut butter cookies, fanta

- hello panda, grapes

- panda express: small box - white rice w/ sauces, chow mein, walnut shrimp, dried apple crisps

sept. 13

- 

- ice cream cone(?)

- leftover container: pasta (two types - one ravioli, one bow shaped)

- half slider maybe??, fruit (cantloupe/honey dew, pineapple? grapes?)

- orange fanta(?)

sept. 14

- possibly some leftovers from the container

- 4-5 brownie bites

- (?)

- 2 small slices of pizza, small portion pasta

- lucky charms (?)

- bites of pineapple & cantaloupe, taste of cottage cheese, nibble of chicken ~from leftover container

- matcha iced latte, cheese danish

sept. 15

- eggs w/ ketchup, sausage, french toast w/ powdered sugar & light syrup, 2 chicken tenders

- 2 snickerdoodle cookies

- light orange fanta

- peanut butter cookies, orange fanta

- sips of sparkling ice

- taco bell: chicken quesadilla

- 1/2 messy pb&j (wasted one cuz it fell)

sept. 16

- rice crispie choc drizzle(100), motts gummies(80), 2 caramels(50) (ate compulsively, didn't enjoy :/ )

- chicken half slider w a lot of sauce, cheesy hashbrown dish thingy?, 

- grandma creme cookies (didn't finish)

- sprite (didn't finish)

- pepperoni pizza, portion of pasta, snickerdoodle cookies

----

https://www.edsupportforum.com/posts/81032430/