june 19 - june 30 | hex color code: purple

june 19

- egg sandwich

- noodles

- 2 slices of pizza, 1 pc cinnabon 

- 1 bite of chicken from the chicken rice bowl

- 1 pc cinnabon (2 total, mini tiny size btw)

- 2 tiny bites of chicken sides

exercise: morning walk w/ parents (only 1 round), evening walk (only planned on going/went up to the light stop as i left too late)

june 20

*plan*

lunch: avocado toast (300 cals), bowl of strawberries & grapes(~64 cals?) 1 1/2 water bottle OR 2 cups of tea

- ate toast with burger bred cuz it was all that was available, did not do the tea or bottled water bc there wasn’t any. i however did drink water from seven leaves, does that count? [~344 cals]

--outing-- 

7 leaves: 1 pm to 5 pm (left at 4:30)

vyvanse @ 4pm

9pm: chicken bowl + 2 pc chicken sides from yesterday (if ur appetite returns, continue fast if not) - {ate after i returned home so around 5pm, finished just before vyvanse could kick in} [~380 cals]

- chewed on spoon later in night to counteract cravings even while still feeling the vyvanse. was thinking how i could do a “meet halfway” method by implementing light doses of stimulants + chewing fidgeting for craving suppression 

extra: peanut brittle pieces[~160] i nabbed from dad’s livingroom, vyvanse kicked in just as i was about to start snacking on them lol, took a bite of one after i felt it but knew it was over… ate the pieces later at night tho, diet pepsi

total: ~884 /600-1,600

impromptu weigh-in after scale’s batteries were replaced: 204.6(?) in dad’s living room, 207.6(?) in grandma’s bedroom. both clothed after eating lunch

how far i’ve fallen :/

june 21

*plan*

lunch: banana oatmeal, 1 boiled egg

in b/t meal: chew spoon as fidget ✅

snack: chicken rice bowl OR pb & j

in b/t meal: chew spoon as fidget 

dinner: 1/2 grapefruit + lean cuisine OR tuna & crackers

in b/t meal: chew spoon as fidget 

9pm: grapes & strawberries, apple OR tangerine(if one of the fruits isn't viable)

in b/t meal: chew spoon as fidget 

--

weight: 201.6 (-3.0 or -6.0 if u wanna count the weigh-in in dad's living [not accurate tho lol...unless?] )

execution:

lunch: banana oatmeal (195)✅

went to church with parents for father's day so ofc i'm going to blame that for me ruining my plan. started getting cravings around 2pm-ish? knew i wouldn't be home for some hours since we were going to visit chidi. next time to plan, i'll either take vyvanse/a strong coffee, or bring packaged food to eat with me. or i'll actually try to white knuckle it or even utilize visualization.

- rice w/ meat (basically ate like an animal), meat pie (~400-500)

- fanta soda (~100)

- peanut brittle (~200)

- hot cheeto fries (150)

- 3 pcs of bacon (~100)

- stella rosa wine cup, tiniest bite of edible gummy (around 2.5 mg? feel nothing as i'm writing this + ate "5"mg... still nothing as of 1:44 am) (~100)

dinner(8:50ish-pm): pb & j w/ burger bread (~260+)✅

chewing on spoon✅ helped mitigate some cravings. should do after every hour "snack"

[skipping grapefruit, lean cuisine, tuna & crackers, and possibly egg and fruits due to being "thrown" off track]

~emergen. plan to rest of night: 10pm: apple (80)✅, 11pm: 20 grapes, 12am: boiled egg(?) - combined/traded in for scrambled eggs with ketchup (~180), 1am(go to bed): 

exercise: evening walk

total: ~1,570-1,670/600-1,600

june 22

*plan*

library by 11am(visualize to get motivated) stay till 4:00, take vyvanse @ 3pm

lunch: none except for water

snack: none

dinner/other "meals": \/

-     tuna & crackers

-     2 "scrambled" eggs

-     lean cuisine (if i still have one)

-     some other snack available in the house (must be 3 hours after last eaten, normal portion and NO SECONDS, use visualization to help you) | possibly slice of pizza?

---

diet format (ignore)

♢

june 20

current weight:

lunch: avocado toast (w/ burger bun bread), strawberries & grapes - ~350 cals

snack: none

dinner: small chicken rice bowl - ~400 cals

total: /600-1,600

extra:

exercise:

week goal:

month goal:

#ddc2fc

bruh

 son

april 15 - april 25

wegovy - day 1 (weight: 196.6?)

weigh-in after taking wegovy: 197.40 on rm's scale (naked), 198.60 clothed | 200.8 clothed on personal scale, 196.6 naked | 197.60 on rm's scale again naked (flashed 197.00 for a second)

no noticeable change so far by 3:41 pm, appetite still present and lowkey going strong

felt a bit of a gurgly feeling around 30 min - 1 hour after taking it, but nothing intense

pretty much back to normal afterwards, we'll see tmrw

march 31 - april 10 + apr. 11 - apr. 14 (OMAD plan) | lowest weight this period: 194.80

march 31

- small bowl lucky charms + fruit bowl: pineapple, watermelon

april 1

?OMAD? (+vyvanse)

- ate spicy cali sushi roll

~vyvanse~

- ate cheese ritz 2x during and after practice 

- pb& j sandwich sometime between 11pm-12:30 am

- sunflower seeds late at night to curb cravings (worked, need to figure out a workaround for less calories tho - pair it with spoon and low cal jelly, carrots, & cucumbers?)

april 2 - weight: 196.6 lbs

?OMAD?

- considered getting food and almost did but vyvanse licked in

-

april 3

?OMAD?

- nutter butter mini cookies, americana turkey burger

* vyvanse kicked in *

- twix

~

- strawberry shaped japanese ice cream

- like 5 sunflower seeds

april 4 - weight: 194.80 @ 9:40pm ish naked

?OMAD?

- cafeteria: snickerdoodle cookie, sliced sausage(?), rice & beans, chicken, potato bite thing?, coke zero

april 5

april 6

april 7

april 8

april 9

- red vines (most likely)

april 10

-

april 11

- vending machine: mixed hot chips, 

- coke zero

*vyvanse*

-

april 12 - weigh in (either this day or the 11th): 197.00 lbs

- smallest bowl of chicken (alfredo?) & broccolli pasta + fruit bowl: grapes, honeydew, peaches/nectarine, pineapple

*vyvanse*

- boxed tuna salad w/ 5 packaged crackers + 5 additional saltine crackers

- ice cream bar

april 13

- americana turkey burger + snickers ice cream bar

~vyvanse kicks in~

- majority of sunchips @ like 11pm

april 14 - weigh-in(after eating 1 soft taco): 195.60 lbs

- 1 singular sun chip, 1 tootsie roll

-

stimulation diet (+ possible outing w/ fiber & protein weekends)

- vyvanse in the morning, coffee or other source of caffeine (at least 150 grams but 200g is ideal) @ around 4 pm, exercise to counteract any extreme "tightness" feeling.

- possibility of doing this 3-4/7 days a week, while spending the weekends(which are 4 days for me but i can have off days) doing outings and "protein and fibermaxxing" aka trying to get in as much protein i can and also consuming small amounts of metamucil all day till it adds up. (half a spoon like 4-5x a day) ---> this would also prevent building up a tolerance to the caffeine and becoming too reliant on the vyvanse, as well as mitigating any effects i'm worried it'll have on my health and heart (and brain)

- point of this is to live my fantasy of "restricting with no cravings" just being free to eat (or not eat) how i would choose and be "anorexic" in peace. only issue is that when i'm on the stimulants, it makes me lazy and not try or think abt my diet as much. i need to stay connected and really revel in the lack of appetite and think of it as a superpower i have over everyone else, make planned meals (whether i decide to eat them or not) track my intake, and avoid compulsive snacking just bc it wore off a little. this helps me put in less mental effort on restricting but i can't completely let go because i still won't lose weight.

ningning 41 kg queen. so triggering. her and giselle, who clearly loves being anorexic and underweight.

march 20 - march 30 (+ started OMAD)

 

march 20

*plan* ~vyvanse~

- jello (90 cals)

- nectarine (63 cals) it tasted bad so i ate a tangerine instead (40 cals + estimated 12 from nectarine so = 52 cals)

- plum (30 cals)

- strawberries & yogurt (104 cals)

- avocado toast w/ egg (380 cals) replaced w/ slice of pizza @ bowling (300-400* cals)

- honey bun (220 cals)

exercise: evening walk walking around mall, bowling 

*~*~

extra: 1/2 david protein bar (so like ~200 cals? considering the lawsuit and the lies), sample meat toothpick, bite of rice with slight bean in it

- lemon water

- cracked due to cravings: pizza w/ ranch, cheerios [bc i was still craving more pizza but didn’t want to eat another slice… didn’t rlly help in the end] ‘nother pizza w/ ranch [yep, i ended up eating another slice anyway :/ ]

planned total: 887/900

act. total: 792(so far) ~1,592-1,900*/900

march 20

*plan*

- avocado toast w/ egg (380 cals)

- 2 tangerines (80 cals)

- 

march 22

- recipe (several portions)

march 23

* vyvanse *

- doritos (first meal) --> vyvanse kicked in soon after

- coke zero (eventually)

- avocado toast

march 24

* vyvanse *

+ bed @ 1:50 am after talking to b for almost 2 hours then moving files on dad's laptop THEN packing

+ woke up @ 5 am and took uber @ 6 am and she had candies and gum in her car that i barely noticed after 40 mins

- 2 caramels, 2 jolly ranches, 1 mexican watermelon candy

- [back at dorm]: ferrero rocher, sushi (vyvanse kicked in and i didn't finish both till later in the day)

~

- rice crispie @ practice that took me a while to eat

- sunflower seeds

- several rice cake chips (the jalapeno cheese flavored ones)

total: ~1,300-1,800/800

march 25

* vyvanse + caffeine "maxxing" plan *

 

march 30

23:1 | OMAD ATTEMPT

* made it to eating window

- meal: small pieces of gnocchi? fries w/ ketchup, chicken/curry + some rice and some chickpeas, pizza(didn't finish)

- tried to fight cravings for rest of day, was mostly successful until like 11pm.... i -believe- i ate a pb&j sandwich.

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