aug. 1
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aug. 2
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aug. 3
*fast - failed*
morning walk w parents
2 taco bell chicken quesadillas
~fast start + vyvanse~
- metamucil
- pb & j
- half a pb&j
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Friday, March 15, 2024
brainwash/visualization/affirmation/manifisation
- i'm perfectly capable of restricting. i did it before without appetite suppressants and i can do it again and keep it off.
- i can restrict however i want if i truly put my mind to it.
- hunger and cravings feel good. they make me feel thinner and empty (like i'm being cleansed/pure)
- it is 100% possible for me to lose weight and achieve my dream body.
- if i truly tried, i could be 162 lbs by the end of this month.
~
- food is so fattening. yes it tastes good, but are the calories worth it? it's the reason for all this fat on my body
- calories in foods makes me so anxious. i can't not check, estimate, or calculate. it's just dirt and waste in my stomach that slows down my weight loss with every bite.
- i feel my best and most euphoric when i'm fasting. i lose weight so rapidly and feel on top of the world, like a feather. it's almost scary how high i feel.
- overeating makes me so miserable. it's kept me fat and held back my potential for too long.
- i can't stand the idea of taking in so many calories. it's like saying yes to fat.
- american culture is designed to keep people fat. i hate being a statistic. a statistic of ppl trapped in a fatty flesh prison bc the lifestyle makes it that way. i will be free.
- i will never reach my true full potential of beauty if i remain fat.
- i will be 22 in 5 months, i need to be thin.
march 23, 2024
cw: 170.4
ever since my longterm brainwash session, i've been restricting so effortlessly. i stayed under 600-800 calories a day and fasted the last 2 Sundays. I usually started my days off with a warm cup of tea with lemon juice in it, go on a walk at around 10 am to 10:30 am, and then at 12 i'll eat a keto friendly breakfast. in the beginning it was salmon with a boiled egg. then i'll starve for 5 hours, chugging water, and eat another meal around 400 cals at 6 pm, then go on my walk. at 8 pm i'll do my bed workout. i spend a lot of time looking up thinspo and daydreaming abt the day i'll finally be thin, and i know i can do it too. i'm finally back in control of myself and it feels good. the hunger and cravings feel so good. i'm going to Disney with my friends on the 27th, i hope i'm in the mid-160's by then. I wonder if they'll notice?
march 27, 2024
cw: 168.2
april 3, 2024
cw: 164.8
it's 3:10 pm, i recently got back from work. i'm in the middle of a 41 hr fast, so i'm 20 hrs and 10 minutes in. i felt a litle woozy at work today, but i'll be fine after eating tomorrow. i got back after my first shift and drank a hot cup of tea with lemon juice, as usual, i drank a lot of water until 11:30 am where i stopped so i wouldn't need to pee when i went back to work. i'm going to periodically play tetris and play with my fidget toy, as well as do my visualizations but truth be told - i don't really need it. i love being this hungry, it really feels like all the fat and pounds are just melting off of me. i can tell i'll be thin very soon and i'm so excited. it feels so good to be in control. i love the feeling of being lightheaded and cold, especially when i go on my walk at sunset, it's otherwordly. i can't for the life of me understand why i let food of all things bar me from experiencing this for so many years. the memories of me being fat and bloated, eating on my bed and getting crumbs everywhere could bring me to tears. it makes me shudder thinking how much time i spent living like that. i'll make up for it though. it's the beginning of april, signifying spring (my favorite season <3) and i'll be thin just in time for autumn and winter. it will be so beautiful <33.
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Wasting Away: ULTIMATE List of Diets/Methods/Tools for organization (lmao) [10/18/2024]
