feb. 27 - march 8 | 199.0 lbs as of Feb. 28 (154 by First Show, 149 by Grad)

feb. 27

- bite of remaining tomato egg noodles

- ferrero rocher?

- sunflower seed madness (couldn't stop eating while i was supposed to be getting ready to go study)

* vyvanse @ library *

   --> was thinking to myself how i wanted to go grab food for some time but was "procrastinating" whilst eating sunflower seeds, but decided i needed to get to the library since i was running late and took forever getting ready after showering. still, at the library i wanted to eat smth and told my friend i might get some food at some point but the vyvanse kicked in and thus my appetite relinquished

~

- possibly nature valley(?)

feb. 28

- lunch: cheese-filled ravioli pasta w/ a looot of sauce lol, fruit bowl: cantaloupe, watermelon | tea = ~600-700 cals

- ~struggled but abstained from food w/ help of oral fidgeting until after 6~

- bueno choc bar = 240 cals

- cafeteria: more saucy ravioli, these really yummy cheesy potato things + pork sausage slices? they made the ravioli taste like 99c store brand in comparison | fruit bowl: cantaloupe + tea i think? could be misremembering

march. 1

- (too big lunch): fruit bowl: pineapple, cucumber | scone, pizza slice, 1/4 nother pizza but ate only the cheese, fries w/ ketchup, bites of chicken  = ~1,000 cals

*vyvanse*

- 2 eggs after 9pm 

total: ~1,160/800

march 2

- sushi from sub union

- ferrero rochero

post interview: poptarts (sundae flavor?)

~intended to fast until 9 pm, was doing good but completely forgot while even acknowledging how i'd gone some time without eating~

- noodles = 530 cals

- bueno bar = 240 cals

~

- honey honey mccripsy from McD's @ like 3:30ish am .. i broke my no ordering streak 🥴the cravings and lack of home food got to me and i cracked 😞

march 3

weight: 199.80 lbs

- few sunflower seeds (like 3-4)

--

weird oral stimming (current) + avoidance methods to cut back on snacking

 - sunflower seeds ☀️(requires work in the mouth, as of feb. 25 i actually find myself craving them and fantasizing abt eating them) + chew gun afterwards if craving smth sweet

——> other snack foods to consider alongside seeds: tangerines (peel + eat), grapes, carrots, cucumbers (keep in close proximity)

- hold item/utensil in mouth (satisfies oral fixation, distracts from cravings [still needs further testing as i took vyvanse today]) / sensory chewing toy

- activate gag reflex (could possibly reset cravings bc of brain reaction, similarly: fake fall and trigger jumping reaction) -> try in morning to avoid immediate eating upon waking

- re-discover liquid cals in terms of satisfying brain cravings in addition to holding/chewing item 

seen on reddit: 1. place apple in front of you when doing activity. when appetite hits, look at apple and think if you would eat that. if answer is no, you supposedly should be mindful enough to not eat craving

2. when craving food, walk to store without money to see if they have it, then walk back to “retrieve” purse but ideally you’d be too tired to want to go back for craving and craving should have passed.

——> getting outside of house/dorm (obvious one) for hours a day, at least 6 hrs. preferably 8. try above methods when out and test to see which are the most effective.

feb. 9 - feb. 26

feb. 9

feb. 10

- avocado toast w/ egg from coffee bean

- stroopwafel

- lunchables

feb. 11

feb. 12

feb. 13

- milk chocolate bar

feb. 14

-

feb. 15

*vyvanse 2x*

- nutty buddy(i believe)

~vyvanse effect~

around 5ish: burger at cafeteria

*2nd vyvanse kicks in*

no food for rest of day

feb. 16

* 8 hours outside the dorm (chose the 3rd floor of the Del Norte Hall)*

- cinn. alm n/v biscuit

- (eventually-) americana turkey burger from sub union

~4 hrs no eating~

- apple @ around 4:39-40

~left hall @ 8 pm~

- 2 takis

- 2 tortillas w/ 1 chicken and 1 pork(?) + extremely spicy salsa + cold half cookie i didn't bother to heat up properly (would've slapped if i did)

- nature valley (mid)

~gym abt 20ish mins, didn't really feel "worked out" no burn or sweating, i could've gone harder~

- egg 'salad' sandwich = 2 eggs w/ mayo smashed w/ 2 slices of bread

- 

-----

feb. 20

- otto's kitchen ramyeon w/ cheese

feb. 21

feb. 22

- heineken

feb. 23

- tangerines

feb. 24

- banana

- sunflower seeds

- girl scout cookies

- lean cuisine (270?)

~~no food till 6pm *planned*~~~

dinner: 2 eggs, 1/2 grapefruit, nature valley | (400 cals)

total: /800

exercise:

---

feb. 25 *plan*

leave after waking for how many hours until 12 pm didn't, procrastinated

vyvanse day + meal

lunch:

~

dinner(@ 6 or whenever you feel up for it):

possible gym?

leave again if time before 9-10 pm(to avoid snacking)

use mental rehearsal/rumination/affirmations to keep away from food, can also use mio drops, chew toy, gaming, meditation, fidgeting, breathing, metamucil, etc to calm cravings. if desperate, chew sunflower seeds and drink copious amts of water

total: /800

exercise:

---

feb. 26 (keto day? just an idea)

~18 hr fast

-

---(new jounal)---

1500-1600 + vyvanse 2x a day? alternate + IGNORE 100 CRAVINGS (in a row) | meal diary

feb. 4

morning-before 12: 2 tbsp of metamucil - cafe: bowl of fruit (honeydew & cantaloupe) mid pb&j

- turkey burger

- 2 packs of gummies

- takis + cinnamon almond n/v bar

~gym: elliptical for 25 minutes until 8:58(or 8:59)~

9pm dinner (pushed it to 11ish): lean cuisine (270), strawberries & yogurt (104) - total: 374 + 3 takis(35) = 409

- 

---

feb. 5

morning mini-walk (purely on a whim, i had the mental energy/desire to while listening to 2016 tunes)

lunch: avocado toast(230), cinn alm. n/v bar(190) - total: 420 + 3 takis = 455

snack: pt1: x pt2: 2 oreo thins (70), tangerine (40) - total: 110

- chew granola bar

- 1 (or 2?) packs of small gummies

~went to campus party after practiceand that's where shi gets crazyyyy~

- 2 white claws, one natural lime, the other raspberry

- 2 soft pork tacos w/ onions, cucumbers, radishes & too much spicy sauce (cilantro on the side but i didn't really eat it, just tasted it after i finished my tacos)

- 2 oreo thins

- some wine, sip of ulta

- budlight at r's dorm, half of buzzball i shared with vivi, sips of 2nd budlight i was handed

- back @ my dorm: small bowl of takis and oreo thins

and then i at some point went to sleep after i was drunkenly (and somewhat high) watching TDI ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(new) atomic habits plan | day 3

 current atomic habit goals:

- visualize 1 scene 2x (brought down from 5 minutes cuz i would procrastinate)

   * can also be supplemented with mental triggering reminders (just added this rule since i sometimes struggle to conjure up a strong mental image)

- 3 crunches or leg lifts

- don't eat after 10 pm

  * considered a "drink more water" habit focus, but decided to not stack too many habits on top of each other

---

day 1 - jan. 14th

visualization 2x ✅(?) - can’t remember if i didnit twice but i believe i did [generic skinny visualization]

3 crunches ✅(went over)

fast after 10 pm ❌(genuinely forgot)

day 2 - jan. 15th

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ❌ weirdly kept putting it off and forgetting, did extra the next "day" though

fast after 10 pm ✅

day 3 - jan. 16th

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅/⚠️ - did 1 set for the previous day, but also did the current one past 12 am so i technically did it twice in one "day" (went over both times as well)

fast after 10 pm ✅

day 4 - jan. 17th

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅

   —> both after 12*

fast after 10 pm ✅

day 5 - jan. 18th

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅

fast after 10 pm ✅

day 6 - jan. 19th

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅

fast after 10 pm ✅

day 7 - jan. 20

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅

fast after 10 pm ✅

day  8 - jan. 21

visualization 2x ✅

3 crunches ✅

fast after 10 pm ❌ | broke @ around 2 am ish

day 9 - jan. 22

visualization 2x ✅/⚠️ - kept putting it off till i came to bed (basically rn)

3 crunches ✅

fast after 10 pm ✅

~ i can tell my mind is starting to not care abt this atomic habits thing, i’m losing focus and becoming more susceptible to temptation. i almost decided to say f it to not eating after 10 today as well but i decided to just see it through.

jan. 1 - jan. 10 + extra days cuz i failed after new years lmfaoooo

jan. 1

weigh-in: -midday- 194.4 (again, ack!)

* attempted to fast but it was too premature/i didn't prepare myself properly + i was experiencing actual hunger pangs lmfao. i didn't care too much abt breaking the fast bc i was already restricting consistently plus i technically fulfilled my goal of fasting into the new year so i was gucci with it

- fast break: cheese off of 2 pizzas, pepper soup w/ meat (got seconds0

--> at this point, i started to wonder if i accidentally broke my keto/ketosis at some point, or if it was just a combo of the ill-timed fast + eating hyperpalatable pizza cheese + sauce(which may or may not have had carbs) and soup .. and also possibly breaking my "ketosis" because the cravings hit me like a freight train/sledgehammer. i also forgot to take my vyvanse in the morning before church, and took it sometime around like ~3pm and it took 3 hours to kick in, so after finish my 2nd bowl of soup, i was seriously contemplating just full on breaking keto for the day bc i was really craving that pizza. i ended up not rlly eating anything at first (i cant remember if i ate a 3rd portion of pepper soup or not? maybe just ate the 2nd portion later?) but what finally did it was me going thru my xmas present and rediscovering that i had candy canes, which i almost immediately ate. 

- 3 candy canes, total.

i ate one at first, and then part of another a littler later but then the vyvanse FINALLY kicked in, so it was a little later until i ate the 3rd once. just pure sugar. but i wasn't really craving food that strongly, i was just eating to eat kind of. a little later i experienced a little cravings and ate more, and then after that i experienced more sliiightly stronger cravings and snacked a bit before i ended my day

- hard pizza slice, hard oatmeal cookie eaten slowly, tiniest tangerine ever (appetite not really moved by this lmao)

~

- cashews, 2-4 tortilla chips, small bites of caramel cheesecake, 1 small spoon of melted cookies&cream ice cream 

exercise: not much tbh, pacing

total: /800-1,600

----

jan. 2

weigh-in: 192.0 (-2.4[?])

lunch: tuna w/ mayo, spam (eaten around ~1pm)

snack: --

dinner: beef patty

extra: like 5 more cashews… beginning of the end, pork rinds || hours later, i decided to break my keto due to cravings: 2 candy canes, like abt 20.5-21 roasted chews total 

—

jan. 3

- more roasted cashews

- snickerdoodle cheesecake

-

jan. 4

- 3 slices of bacon, 2 boiled eggs 

- snickerdoodle cheesecake slice

- 

-

-

- 2 ice cream cones

---

jan. 7 (nat bday)

-

-

- 4 gyoza

- 2 cookies

--

jan. 8

--

jan. 9

- chic fil a grilled chicken

-

- spam w/ 2 eggs + hot sauce

(successful keto after days of break)

jan. 10

-

-

(broke keto after 1 good day)

--

jan. 14

- 4 oreo ice cream sandwiches

jan. 15

- sushi, 3 macarons, others

- fish (stopped eating after 10, leftovers)

jan. 16

- protein snack pack (150)

- banana (120)

- ~ vyvanse~

- 5ish: bites of salmon, then went on walk, then came back and finished salmon (took a bit) then eventually ate one of the eggs (prepared 2)

- bj's pizookie + ice cream (stopped eating after 10)

90 day diet (oldish slavic trend inspo) + day and a half diet & keto w/ complex carbs idea

inspired by this video

Day 1: high-protein foods only (keto day essentially)

Day 2: complex carbs/high fiber foods day

Day 3: paleo/fish focused day + veggies (originally simple carbs/cheat day but meh)

Day 4: fruit-only day

Day 5: 2000 calorie day (i think it's originally water fast but i'm shifting it a bit)

Day 6: water fast

*repeat for 90 days, but in differing orders maybe?

----

day 1/2 diet idea:

do a specific diet for day 1, then switch it up the next day midday day, and then the next day also switch up again but in less than 24 hr

sample:

day 1: maybe keto only foods

day 2: keto only foods until sometime between 3-6 pm then switch to primarily fruit/fiber/complex carb foods

day 3: follow till 8pm and then switch to different diet

----

diet idea:

follow: predominantly keto diet model but when cravings pop up, satisfy them with complex carbs and sweet fruit or healthy food like yogurt, pb, etc. - switch it up and eat predominantly complex carbs but use keto foods for cravings