march 9
~~fasting / 38 hrs~~
*vyvanse*
plan: gym(20 mins elyptical, 25 x2 leg press, 10 mins treadmill or arm leg swing, 50 x1 arm pull ups) after waking up, then shower
--> if desperate to eat, c&s | grocery shop some safe foods
-
march 10
-
march 11
-
march 12
-
march 13
-
feb. 27
- bite of remaining tomato egg noodles
- ferrero rocher?
- sunflower seed madness (couldn't stop eating while i was supposed to be getting ready to go study)
* vyvanse @ library *
--> was thinking to myself how i wanted to go grab food for some time but was "procrastinating" whilst eating sunflower seeds, but decided i needed to get to the library since i was running late and took forever getting ready after showering. still, at the library i wanted to eat smth and told my friend i might get some food at some point but the vyvanse kicked in and thus my appetite relinquished
~ possibly yogurt (?)
- possibly nature valley(?)
- possible pineapple cup (?) -- some day this weekend, not sure which day --
feb. 28
- lunch: cheese-filled ravioli pasta w/ a looot of sauce lol, fruit bowl: cantaloupe, watermelon | tea = ~600-700 cals
- ~struggled but abstained from food w/ help of oral fidgeting until after 6~
- bueno choc bar = 240 cals
- cafeteria: more saucy ravioli, these really yummy cheesy potato things + pork sausage slices? they made the ravioli taste like 99c store brand in comparison | fruit bowl: cantaloupe + tea i think? could be misremembering
-
march. 1
- (too big lunch): fruit bowl: pineapple, cucumber | scone, pizza slice, 1/4 nother pizza but ate only the cheese, fries w/ ketchup, bites of chicken = ~1,000 cals
*vyvanse*
- 2 eggs after 9pm
total: ~1,160/800
march 2
- sushi from sub union
- ferrero rochero
post interview: poptarts (sundae flavor?) =
~intended to fast until 9 pm, was doing good but completely forgot while even acknowledging how i'd gone some time without eating~
- noodles = 530 cals
- bueno bar = 240 cals
~
- honey honey mccripsy from McD's @ like 3:30ish am .. i broke my no ordering streak 🥴the cravings and lack of home food got to me and i cracked 😞
march 3
weight: 199.80 lbs
- few sunflower seeds (like 3-4)
~
- yogurt bites = 80 cals
~
- granola bar = 100 cals
- nature valley pb protein = 200 cals
- yogurt strawb bites 2x = 160 cals
- large ham & cheese croissant w/ jalapenos from rolling pins, left like 1/4 (didn't finish)
~
- pink lemonade from in n' out at around 11smth - 12ish
- a couple of oreos
total: /800
march 4
- remaining ham & cheese croissant + like 2 oreos
- remaining fries (hard) w/ ketchup
- nature valley(?)
- cafeteria: bow pasta, mashed potatoes(left a little), fried chicken (didn't finish), bites of cornbread, bites of cookies n cream cake (not ice cream), 2 vegan chicken nuggies, sips of sprite & fanta
- store: watermelon gummies, poptarts, diet pepsi
- protein chicken bites w/ sauce(similar to chic fil a sauce? wingstop? old af by now i should toss it)
- sips of atkins shake(?)
-
march 5
weight: 200.80 (or 200.00 / 200.70, didn't properly memorize it) - not bad for how i ate yesterday and possibly how i ate the day before (tho i think i was still in a deficit)
* vyvanse *
- cafeteria smores tart thing (didn't finish, mainly ate the marshmallows) + few bites of cafeteria tray: chicken, pasta, onion rings
- 2x yoggies
- small portions of each item from tray ^
- remaining pasta
- sips of atkins shake(?)
march 6
- tall iced white matcha latte w/ vanilla cold foam + brown sugar syrup (regular milk) + onion rings
- poptarts = 370 cals
-~
- 2 slices pepperoni & sausage pizza w/ ranch (some parmesan flakes)
~
- other two slices
- green apple
march 7
weight: 200.00 lbs
- remaining white rice + chicken w/ sauce
- pineapple cup
- cafeteria: cookie, mashed potatoes(unfinished), steak meat thing (bits), self-made tostada: rice, beans, meat, lettuce, cheese sprinkle, salsa, diced tomatoes (kinda mid unfortunately)
- several icebreaker mints
~ looong period of no eating thanks to *la vyvanse* & also intense focus on editing
- remaining atkins shake
march 8
- cafeteria: bites of - marshmallow choc brownie, scone, sugar sprinkled muffin | meatball pasta(small portion), fish w/ creamy sauce and peas, cold fries w/ ketchup, hard garlic bread, small soft nachos | banana, cucumbers | small cup of sprite
- ~
- cafeteria: pepperoni pizza slice, cheesy garlic 1/2 bread loaf thing, cheese pizza slice, teriyaki chicken bits 2x, 1 potsticker
- tall iced matcha latte w/ brown sugar syrup, oatmilk, & cold foam (no classic syrup)
~~ fast start @ 10:00 pm ~~
---> gum chewing & oral fidgeting w/ bottle cap and fork body
--
other this week(not sure which days): icebreaker mints, some sunflower seeds here and there,
- sunflower seeds ☀️(requires work in the mouth, as of feb. 25 i actually find myself craving them and fantasizing abt eating them) + chew gun afterwards if craving smth sweet
——> other snack foods to consider alongside seeds: tangerines (peel + eat), grapes, carrots, cucumbers (keep in close proximity)
- hold item/utensil in mouth (satisfies oral fixation, distracts from cravings [still needs further testing as i took vyvanse today]) / sensory chewing toy
- activate gag reflex (could possibly reset cravings bc of brain reaction, similarly: fake fall and trigger jumping reaction) -> try in morning to avoid immediate eating upon waking
- re-discover liquid cals in terms of satisfying brain cravings in addition to holding/chewing item
seen on reddit: 1. place apple in front of you when doing activity. when appetite hits, look at apple and think if you would eat that. if answer is no, you supposedly should be mindful enough to not eat craving
2. when craving food, walk to store without money to see if they have it, then walk back to “retrieve” purse but ideally you’d be too tired to want to go back for craving and craving should have passed.
——> getting outside of house/dorm (obvious one) for hours a day, at least 6 hrs. preferably 8. try above methods when out and test to see which are the most effective.
feb. 9
feb. 10
- avocado toast w/ egg from coffee bean
- stroopwafel
- lunchables
feb. 11
feb. 12
feb. 13
- milk chocolate bar
feb. 14
-
feb. 15
*vyvanse 2x*
- nutty buddy(i believe)
~vyvanse effect~
around 5ish: burger at cafeteria
*2nd vyvanse kicks in*
no food for rest of day
feb. 16
* 8 hours outside the dorm (chose the 3rd floor of the Del Norte Hall)*
- cinn. alm n/v biscuit
- (eventually-) americana turkey burger from sub union
~4 hrs no eating~
- apple @ around 4:39-40
~left hall @ 8 pm~
- 2 takis
- 2 tortillas w/ 1 chicken and 1 pork(?) + extremely spicy salsa + cold half cookie i didn't bother to heat up properly (would've slapped if i did)
- nature valley (mid)
~gym abt 20ish mins, didn't really feel "worked out" no burn or sweating, i could've gone harder~
- egg 'salad' sandwich = 2 eggs w/ mayo smashed w/ 2 slices of bread
-
-----
feb. 20
- otto's kitchen ramyeon w/ cheese
feb. 21
feb. 22
- heineken
feb. 23
- tangerines
feb. 24
- banana
- sunflower seeds
- girl scout cookies
- lean cuisine (270?)
~~no food till 6pm *planned*~~~
dinner: 2 eggs, 1/2 grapefruit, nature valley | (400 cals)
total: /800
exercise:
---
feb. 25 *plan*
leave after waking for how many hours until 12 pm didn't, procrastinated
vyvanse day + meal
lunch:
~
dinner(@ 6 or whenever you feel up for it):
possible gym?
leave again if time before 9-10 pm(to avoid snacking)
use mental rehearsal/rumination/affirmations to keep away from food, can also use mio drops, chew toy, gaming, meditation, fidgeting, breathing, metamucil, etc to calm cravings. if desperate, chew sunflower seeds and drink copious amts of water
total: /800
exercise:
---
feb. 26 (keto day? just an idea)
~18 hr fast
-
---(new jounal)---
feb. 4
morning-before 12: 2 tbsp of metamucil - cafe: bowl of fruit (honeydew & cantaloupe) mid pb&j
- turkey burger
- 2 packs of gummies
- takis + cinnamon almond n/v bar
~gym: elliptical for 25 minutes until 8:58(or 8:59)~
9pm dinner (pushed it to 11ish): lean cuisine (270), strawberries & yogurt (104) - total: 374 + 3 takis(35) = 409
-
---
feb. 5
morning mini-walk (purely on a whim, i had the mental energy/desire to while listening to 2016 tunes)
lunch: avocado toast(230), cinn alm. n/v bar(190) - total: 420 + 3 takis = 455
snack: pt1: x pt2: 2 oreo thins (70), tangerine (40) - total: 110
- chew granola bar
- 1 (or 2?) packs of small gummies
~went to campus party after practiceand that's where shi gets crazyyyy~
- 2 white claws, one natural lime, the other raspberry
- 2 soft pork tacos w/ onions, cucumbers, radishes & too much spicy sauce (cilantro on the side but i didn't really eat it, just tasted it after i finished my tacos)
- 2 oreo thins
- some wine, sip of ulta
- budlight at r's dorm, half of buzzball i shared with vivi, sips of 2nd budlight i was handed
- back @ my dorm: small bowl of takis and oreo thins
and then i at some point went to sleep after i was drunkenly (and somewhat high) watching TDI ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
current atomic habit goals:
- visualize 1 scene 2x (brought down from 5 minutes cuz i would procrastinate)
* can also be supplemented with mental triggering reminders (just added this rule since i sometimes struggle to conjure up a strong mental image)
- 3 crunches or leg lifts
- don't eat after 10 pm
* considered a "drink more water" habit focus, but decided to not stack too many habits on top of each other
---
day 1 - jan. 14th
visualization 2x ✅(?) - can’t remember if i didnit twice but i believe i did [generic skinny visualization]
3 crunches ✅(went over)
fast after 10 pm ❌(genuinely forgot)
day 2 - jan. 15th
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ❌ weirdly kept putting it off and forgetting, did extra the next "day" though
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 3 - jan. 16th
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅/⚠️ - did 1 set for the previous day, but also did the current one past 12 am so i technically did it twice in one "day" (went over both times as well)
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 4 - jan. 17th
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅
—> both after 12*
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 5 - jan. 18th
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 6 - jan. 19th
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 7 - jan. 20
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅
fast after 10 pm ✅
day 8 - jan. 21
visualization 2x ✅
3 crunches ✅
fast after 10 pm ❌ | broke @ around 2 am ish
day 9 - jan. 22
visualization 2x ✅/⚠️ - kept putting it off till i came to bed (basically rn)
3 crunches ✅
fast after 10 pm ✅
~ i can tell my mind is starting to not care abt this atomic habits thing, i’m losing focus and becoming more susceptible to temptation. i almost decided to say f it to not eating after 10 today as well but i decided to just see it through.
jan. 1
