merry christmas! still fat
anyway, here's a diet idea I probably won't do
Saturday, December 25, 2021
Thursday, December 16, 2021
Wednesday, December 8, 2021
hot lemon water / caffeine pill
ate more than i liked at 1:49 today, so i decided to do a 4 hour “fast” till 6 to eat. drank hot lemon water for almost every hour and had no appetite, aside from at 5:30 and beyondish when i didn’t drink any
looks like the caffeine pill is also suppressing my appetite, hmm...
tmrw i will take l tyrosine, b6, vit d, and the caffeine pill @ 12 on an empty stomach and see what happens
Sunday, November 28, 2021
peculiar
Member Since 11 Apr 2017OFFLINE Last Active Jun 19 2017 05:32 AM
My life is a mess rnUpdated 29 May · 0 comments
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LBMI 19 | CBMI 22 | GBMI 16 | UGBMI 14
I'm not very social, I have a bad taste of humor and I'm difficult to get along
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Posted 30 July 2019 - 03:34 AM
The fear of weight gain, a binge is like 1000 calories over a day for me and after that i just keep telling myself if i eat more calories ill get fatter and gross and then i go back into my regular low calorie routine
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Posted 26 April 2017 - 07:35 PM
Kibi112, on 26 Apr 2017 - 5:13 PM, said:
I drink water, coffee, or tea. Or sometimes I watch shows like My 600lb Life to make me too anxious to consider putting anything in my mouth
Oh my gosh that's my favourite show 
My friends always find it weird how I like it so much but it's so extreme that food seems so gross haha.
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Posted Yesterday, 01:57 PM
ok so this week’s average step count is 14k+, so the coming week i guess i’ll aim for 15k. seems kinda over-ambitious though, not sure if i’ll make it.
i want to gradually increase my step count, so we’ll see how this goes.
average intake for the week was 900. don’t really feel like going lower, i think any lower would make me binge like crazy. kinda had a mini binge on thursday night but i stopped myself and it only added up to 1700.
gonna drop a pic of my step count + a bodycheck and then probably forget to update here for a week.
do not quote or save image. got new shoes that make me feel tall! and they were super cheap too
i want to gradually increase my step count, so we’ll see how this goes.
average intake for the week was 900. don’t really feel like going lower, i think any lower would make me binge like crazy. kinda had a mini binge on thursday night but i stopped myself and it only added up to 1700.
gonna drop a pic of my step count + a bodycheck and then probably forget to update here for a week.
do not quote or save image. got new shoes that make me feel tall! and they were super cheap too
Spoiler
Friday, November 26, 2021
update
SO on Dec.1 I'm gonna start a diet plan in which I alternate between Bronkaid and Nic gum for appetite suppressing effects for 6 days eating between 800-1200 cals a day, and then 6 days off in which I eat 1,600 cals a day.
until then I'm torn b/t trying to eat normal and trying to restrict, I don't wanna eat any of my safe foods but thanksgiving food is making me feel like a huge cow. my general aim is 1,600 a day but today I'm aiming to restrict by using a "you can eat it after your craving" approach to gain some self control. and also the fact that I'm busy today - just got back from a nail appointment and at 3 I have to get my hair done. so my goal for today is either 2 or 3 meals depending on when I get home. I'll probably get home at like 7 so I'll eat when I get home, maybe eat smith small at 10 and go to bed.
I weighed in at 197.6 this morning (fucking yikes) and I want to be at LEAST 195 on Dec. 1
in December I wanna lose 20 lbs but we'll see what happens
biggest challenge in December is to NOT diet-hop and waste another month with my shit attempts at restriction on my own the second something doesn't go my way.
1I finally got the chance to buy a new scale yesterday. This morning I weighed myself and even though I hadn't had a bm in a week my weight was 49,8 kg. A few hours later I actually managed number two, but I didn't weigh myself afterwards since I had already had lots of water so the weight wouldn't be accurate anyway.
But!!! I'm no longer stuck at 50 kg. I am probably 49,5 (guessing from poo lol tmi). So relieved I haven't gained now that I'm being forced to eat.
I've just started making friends with this new girl at school. Turns out she doesn't eat. It's a boarding school so everyone has breakfast, lunch and dinner together in the cafeteria and I noticed that during breakfast we're both sitting there with a cup of tea/coffee and no food. I asked her yesterday if she had morning nausea aswell and she said yes.
But then I noticed that she barely eats anything during lunch or dinner either. She's just picking and cutting her salad into small pieces. It's so frustrating because it feels like a competition, like I can't eat more than her because then I'll get fat. And I don't want to eat anything in the first place but I have to when my boyfriend is sitting with us cause he knows about my eating disorder. Gosh, it's so frustrating. I feel like I don't want to sit with her anymore because she makes me feel like shit but on the other hand, she hans't really done anything wrong. I don't know what to do. And my boyfriend's concerned again because I'm kind of relapsing and he told me that if I'm gonna let the eating disorder win, we won't have a future together. Because he is in love with me, not ana. The only time I eat is when he's there and the only reason I eat is so I won't let him down. But he wants me to recover for me. Which is hard because I don't really want to recover. Not right now.
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Phew, that's a tough situation. Have you considered to ask her more directly? Maybe she has very similar thoughts and tries to eat less in order to compete with you. Maybe she has an eating disorder or just tries her best to become friends with you by acting similar, so I'd really recommend to just talk with her, maybe even explaining your feelings and struggles.