update

 SO on Dec.1 I'm gonna start a diet plan in which I alternate between Bronkaid and Nic gum for appetite suppressing effects for 6 days eating between 800-1200 cals a day, and then 6 days off in which I eat 1,600 cals a day.

until then I'm torn b/t trying to eat normal and trying to restrict, I don't wanna eat any of my safe foods but thanksgiving food is making me feel like a huge cow. my general aim is 1,600 a day but today I'm aiming to restrict by using a "you can eat it after your craving" approach to gain some self control. and also the fact that I'm busy today -  just got back from a nail appointment and at 3 I have to get my hair done. so my goal for today is either 2 or 3 meals depending on when I get home. I'll probably get home at like 7 so I'll eat when I get home, maybe eat smith small at 10 and go to bed.

I weighed in at 197.6 this morning (fucking yikes) and I want to be at LEAST 195 on Dec. 1

in December I wanna lose 20 lbs but we'll see what happens

biggest challenge in December is to NOT diet-hop and waste another month with my shit attempts at restriction  on my own the second something doesn't go my way.