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I was on a TV show and people hate my body

Started by Pink_, Sep 25 2021 11:42 PM

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#1 Pink_

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Posted 25 September 2021 - 11:42 PM

So I was selected and filmed for a very popular reality TV show and it aired already. While I was super excited to film and be on TV again, its still a very well known tv show which means some of it’s viewers will take to the internet to mercilessly bully me and other cast members unprovoked. Which, okay fine, I can deal with that, and there were some kind comments too. But it was the comment someone made about how bad my body looked in two form fitting dresses that really hit me. And I remember one scene when I was watching, where I was thinking “OhMyGod, I look terrible right there. Please move into the next scene”. It’s.. like they knew. I’m 5’2” and was 114lbs on the show (yeah, not my best, I know) but now I know it’s not all in my head - other people really hate my body too. It’s as bad as I think it is.

I knew going into this that people were going to have nasty things to say and I’d see it on social media, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity because I was afraid of a few mean-spirited things people had to say about me. I just don’t get it? Like, I was nice to everyone in the show, I was grateful and excited to be there, and I was polite and kind. I see it all the time happening to people but I just don’t understand wanting to rip someone apart you don’t even know on the internet. It’s just weird.

Anyways, now I’m getting a juicer and fasting for the rest of my life lmaoo. I haven’t been on this site in months and it’s like someone else pressed the restart button for me. Has something like this ever happened to any of you before? How do you deal with it?

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Sunday, September 26, 2021

Choco_Bitch_612

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Posted 04 October 2014 - 08:45 PM

Cerritos, California

H: 5'7.5 LW: 150 (2014) SW: 158 (2014) HW: 216 (Dec. 2019..that's embarrassing) CW: 184.0

Gw 1: 190 lbs (86 kg) BMI - 29.3

Gw 2: 180 lbs (82 kg) BMI - 27.8

Gw 3: 170 lbs (77 kg) BMI - 26.2

Gw 4: 160 lbs (73 kg) BMI - 24.7

Gw 5: 150 lbs (68 kg) BMI - 23.1

Gw 6: 140 lbs (64 kg) BMI - 21.6

Gw 7: 130 lbs (59 kg) BMI - 20.1

Gw 8: 120 lbs (54 kg) BMI - 18.5

♥ UGW: 114 lbs(51 kg) BMI - 17.6 ♥

MAINTAIN BETWEEN 107-114

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Saturday, September 18, 2021

Nurseamy

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Posted 12 November 2015 - 06:10 PM

I close my eyes and force myself to explore the feelings(physical and mental) that I am feeling when I'm really hungry or craving food. Then, I remind myself WHY I'm feeling hungry...because I'm working towards reaching my goal weight. You see, that's a very HAPPY AND REWARDING feeling. If you do this and focus really hard, you can slowly retrain the brain to recognize the hungry and empty feelings as positive feelings...feelings that bring you positive thoughts and control. Meditation!

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Thursday, September 16, 2021

jealous

#61 anhedoniac

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Posted Today, 04:38 PM

I finally... did it. I reached my gw today. The scale said 100.6. Im honestly really proud of myself for holding out this long but i cant help but feel this is pointless. Like obviously i love the feeling of being tiny but i really still do hate my body. The bones jutting out genuinely freaks me out sometimes and i really dont know if i want to maintain or gain a little bit. My body scares me and at times it makes me uncomfortable to look in the mirror. I am also extremely tempted to dip into the double digits but i know its not good for me. Idk i guess i’ll see how it feels. First day of maintenance today and it feels so freeing. My life is also turning around so i might just stop starving as a form of self harm. Ughh i dont know. I really am excited and proud of myself though. It took me so long and now im finally reaping what ive sowed. Im also going to my first goth club ever next week and listening to ministry to get myself hyped up

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Tuesday, September 14, 2021

boring update

Got down to 184 around almost a week ago. Decided to do a three day break since the ephedrine wasn’t working as strongly as it did, guess what? I gained literally almost all the weight back in just 3 fucking days. I cannot fucking stand my body, I know that I have issues controlling my appetite but I didn’t even eat that much. Definitely not enough to warrant an 8+ pound weight gain. It’s literally so unfair.

On the other hand, I’m testing out a theory on using Lollipops to curb my appetite when I’m not using ephedrine. I decided to have one lollipop today because for some reason my cravings this morning have been very irritating, and it definitely helps quell the craving and let time pass by as you’re eating something that’s delicious. Though, I hope that it’s not actually spiking my cravings in the long run, but I honestly don’t know what else to do. I can’t fight cravings because my brain does not care about my goals anymore when I have them, and ephedrine is the only thing that works which I have to go off of for a couple days because the effect wears off. I don’t know what else to do, so I hope this works.