Saturday, August 24, 2024

eating journal | aug. 10 - 178.6 lbs | aug. 5 - aug. 14

aug.5

-

-

-

- jollof rice (???)

- pb&j

- stale popcorn(?)

aug.6 

- mandarin orange cup

- 1/2 pb&j?

- italian place: cheesy spaghetti(nice), pizza, fanta, orange hibiscus soda sips

- shrimp fried rice

 - drumstick ice cream(?) or was it the 7th


aug.7

- pizza slice

- 7/11 macarons

- stroopwaffel

- honeybun

- 7/11 pizza

- oreo

- ferrero rocher

aug. 8

planned: lunchables, fish&chips portion, 5 bottles of water, 

- pizza slice

- fish&chips

- yogurt(?)

- pineapplecup/orange cup(?)

- red gatorade zero

- grapes (?)

- choc drumstick ice cream (?)

aug. 9

- pb&j

- pineapple cup?

- grapes

- remaining lunchables

- baked fish

aug. 10

*fasting*

- weight: 178.6 (12:50 pm)

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ate sometime this month but can't place:

- 1/2 pb&j and probably another whole one

- numerous mandarin cups (like 3 at most)

- 2(?) drumstick ice creams. i think i ate a vanilla one in addition to the 1st one with caramel i ate, but idk. i don't exactly remember which day i ate them but i still put them up on the daily list

- jollof rice / jollof rice w/ added stew

- fish soup (may have been prior to aug 5)

- cherry coke zero

- nectarine (?)

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aug. 11

-

aug. 12

- costco samples: nerd gummies, cracker w/ tuna(?), mini pizza, kale fruit smoothie, mini pizza, tortilla chip(s) and others, ,  (mini burrito? could be making that up)

- ?

- chinese chicken salad?

- alcohol: irish cream liquor, strawberita, sip of juice mixed w/ bacari thing(still didn't taste good)

aug. 13

(ahh i'm trying to remember but i can't, i need some kind of mental cue)

-

-

- sip of irish cream liquor (i think)

aug. 14

- candies from major meeting: (hi-chew, mini caramels, etc.)

- burger w added lettuce and cheese, watermelon slice, cookie, lemonade(?)

- tangerine

- w/ friends: 2 pepperoni pizza slices, ferrero rocher frozen yogurt bar (only ate the coating)


Monday, August 12, 2024

will be 22 in 10 mins + gained access to old laptop

tbh i was gonna write a most likely lengthy angsty post abt aging and how i don't want to and how i don't feel 21 or 22 but like a 12 year old, 14 year old, 17/18/19 year old girl and how if i at least became skinny and pretty it wouldn't feel so bad but rn i'm a little too tipsy/drunk to care. i mean i still care but i'm not abt to enter another crying spell like i did at least 3-5x times since 1-2 or 3 am this day when i pulled an allnighter. right now tho my stomach is feeling sick in a way like i ate too much food. i drank some irish cream liquor, then my straw-ber-rita (97% as of writing this post) and then a sip of this margarita strawb mix i added into macari(bacari?) alcohol that still tatses like ass and then another sip of irish cream liquor. i think i might actually be drunk. rn it's 11:53 pm i have 7 more mins of being 21 years old lolz. i didn't do much today bc i woke up at 12:22 pm to an earthqwuake (previously woke up at 10 smth) and then spent the morning looking at phones with my mom and then went shopping with her to costco and walmart. i ate a lot of samples at costco and counted that as my breakfast+lunch (brunch)

when we finally got home after the walmart trip (where i seemed out of it possible due to my vyvanse) i went tinto my closet to look for my zebra striped backpack bc i saw it in one of my 2020 tiktoks from 2020(edit: meant september) and thoguht it might hold my old gadgets - and i was right!...abt the laptop. anyway i went thru it and it was like a fresh wave of nostalgia. (after i managed to find out the P***D (Amazoano16 .. thank you daddy) i'm gonna connect it to some sort of icloud for ASUS laptops so i can access the files. might move them over to my laptop, but i still have to get he data extracted from my macbook. 

"but i'm unbroken, my colors show through, and you will never understand"

"how can you stay inside? there's a beautiful mess inside"



edit: adding photos for thumbnail

"in spite of how the world decides to see my life.. will i still have the chance for us to say goodbye? over and over again,,.."




links - 7/20/2024

 Wasting Away: how many times am i gonna upload these? (47poundstothin.blogspot.com)

youtube.com/feed/history

Wasting Away: 2020 belated TIKTOK/VIDEO WEIGHT LOSS THINSPO (taking off her shirt let 'er wear my shirt 'fore she leave, imma need my shirt back) (47poundstothin.blogspot.com)

Wasting Away: video thinspo pt 2 (47poundstothin.blogspot.com)

Fasting: willingly abstaining for a period of time (reddit.com)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sE-03HYymmRGNjIAAn66xIl8IiChdULkA19Wwlf-I2s/edit?pli=1

Photos - Google Photos

Imgur: The magic of the Internet

body recomp female before and after - Google Search

TikTok - Make Your Day

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Selbsthypnose - bulimie.at - das Forum