feb. 27 - march 8 | 199.0 lbs as of Feb. 28 (154 by First Show, 149 by Grad)

feb. 27

- bite of remaining tomato egg noodles

- ferrero rocher?

- sunflower seed madness (couldn't stop eating while i was supposed to be getting ready to go study)

* vyvanse @ library *

   --> was thinking to myself how i wanted to go grab food for some time but was "procrastinating" whilst eating sunflower seeds, but decided i needed to get to the library since i was running late and took forever getting ready after showering. still, at the library i wanted to eat smth and told my friend i might get some food at some point but the vyvanse kicked in and thus my appetite relinquished

~ possibly yogurt (?)

- possibly nature valley(?)

- possible pineapple cup (?) -- some day this weekend, not sure which day --

feb. 28

- lunch: cheese-filled ravioli pasta w/ a looot of sauce lol, fruit bowl: cantaloupe, watermelon | tea = ~600-700 cals

- ~struggled but abstained from food w/ help of oral fidgeting until after 6~

- bueno choc bar = 240 cals

- cafeteria: more saucy ravioli, these really yummy cheesy potato things + pork sausage slices? they made the ravioli taste like 99c store brand in comparison | fruit bowl: cantaloupe + tea i think? could be misremembering

-

march. 1

- (too big lunch): fruit bowl: pineapple, cucumber | scone, pizza slice, 1/4 nother pizza but ate only the cheese, fries w/ ketchup, bites of chicken  = ~1,000 cals

*vyvanse*

- 2 eggs after 9pm 

total: ~1,160/800

march 2

- sushi from sub union

- ferrero rochero

post interview: poptarts (sundae flavor?) = 

~intended to fast until 9 pm, was doing good but completely forgot while even acknowledging how i'd gone some time without eating~

- noodles = 530 cals

- bueno bar = 240 cals

~

- honey honey mccripsy from McD's @ like 3:30ish am .. i broke my no ordering streak 🥴the cravings and lack of home food got to me and i cracked 😞

march 3

weight: 199.80 lbs

- few sunflower seeds (like 3-4)

~

- yogurt bites = 80 cals

~

- granola bar = 100 cals

- nature valley pb protein = 200 cals

- yogurt strawb bites 2x = 160 cals

- large ham & cheese croissant w/ jalapenos from rolling pins, left like 1/4 (didn't finish)

~

- pink lemonade from in n' out at around 11smth - 12ish

- a couple of oreos

total: /800

march 4

- remaining ham & cheese croissant + like 2 oreos

- remaining fries (hard) w/ ketchup

- nature valley(?)

- cafeteria: bow pasta, mashed potatoes(left a little), fried chicken (didn't finish), bites of cornbread, bites of cookies n cream cake (not ice cream), 2 vegan chicken nuggies, sips of sprite & fanta

- store: watermelon gummies, poptarts, diet pepsi

- protein chicken bites w/ sauce(similar to chic fil a sauce? wingstop? old af by now i should toss it)

- 

-

march 5

weight: 200.80 (or 200.00 / 200.70, didn't properly memorize it) - not bad for how i ate yesterday and possibly how i ate the day before (tho i think i was still in a deficit)

- 

-

--

weird oral stimming (current) + avoidance methods to cut back on snacking

 - sunflower seeds ☀️(requires work in the mouth, as of feb. 25 i actually find myself craving them and fantasizing abt eating them) + chew gun afterwards if craving smth sweet

——> other snack foods to consider alongside seeds: tangerines (peel + eat), grapes, carrots, cucumbers (keep in close proximity)

- hold item/utensil in mouth (satisfies oral fixation, distracts from cravings [still needs further testing as i took vyvanse today]) / sensory chewing toy

- activate gag reflex (could possibly reset cravings bc of brain reaction, similarly: fake fall and trigger jumping reaction) -> try in morning to avoid immediate eating upon waking

- re-discover liquid cals in terms of satisfying brain cravings in addition to holding/chewing item 

seen on reddit: 1. place apple in front of you when doing activity. when appetite hits, look at apple and think if you would eat that. if answer is no, you supposedly should be mindful enough to not eat craving

2. when craving food, walk to store without money to see if they have it, then walk back to “retrieve” purse but ideally you’d be too tired to want to go back for craving and craving should have passed.

——> getting outside of house/dorm (obvious one) for hours a day, at least 6 hrs. preferably 8. try above methods when out and test to see which are the most effective.

feb. 9 - feb. 26

feb. 9

feb. 10

- avocado toast w/ egg from coffee bean

- stroopwafel

- lunchables

feb. 11

feb. 12

feb. 13

- milk chocolate bar

feb. 14

-

feb. 15

*vyvanse 2x*

- nutty buddy(i believe)

~vyvanse effect~

around 5ish: burger at cafeteria

*2nd vyvanse kicks in*

no food for rest of day

feb. 16

* 8 hours outside the dorm (chose the 3rd floor of the Del Norte Hall)*

- cinn. alm n/v biscuit

- (eventually-) americana turkey burger from sub union

~4 hrs no eating~

- apple @ around 4:39-40

~left hall @ 8 pm~

- 2 takis

- 2 tortillas w/ 1 chicken and 1 pork(?) + extremely spicy salsa + cold half cookie i didn't bother to heat up properly (would've slapped if i did)

- nature valley (mid)

~gym abt 20ish mins, didn't really feel "worked out" no burn or sweating, i could've gone harder~

- egg 'salad' sandwich = 2 eggs w/ mayo smashed w/ 2 slices of bread

- 

-----

feb. 20

- otto's kitchen ramyeon w/ cheese

feb. 21

feb. 22

- heineken

feb. 23

- tangerines

feb. 24

- banana

- sunflower seeds

- girl scout cookies

- lean cuisine (270?)

~~no food till 6pm *planned*~~~

dinner: 2 eggs, 1/2 grapefruit, nature valley | (400 cals)

total: /800

exercise:

---

feb. 25 *plan*

leave after waking for how many hours until 12 pm didn't, procrastinated

vyvanse day + meal

lunch:

~

dinner(@ 6 or whenever you feel up for it):

possible gym?

leave again if time before 9-10 pm(to avoid snacking)

use mental rehearsal/rumination/affirmations to keep away from food, can also use mio drops, chew toy, gaming, meditation, fidgeting, breathing, metamucil, etc to calm cravings. if desperate, chew sunflower seeds and drink copious amts of water

total: /800

exercise:

---

feb. 26 (keto day? just an idea)

~18 hr fast

-

---(new jounal)---

1500-1600 + vyvanse 2x a day? alternate + IGNORE 100 CRAVINGS (in a row) | meal diary

feb. 4

morning-before 12: 2 tbsp of metamucil - cafe: bowl of fruit (honeydew & cantaloupe) mid pb&j

- turkey burger

- 2 packs of gummies

- takis + cinnamon almond n/v bar

~gym: elliptical for 25 minutes until 8:58(or 8:59)~

9pm dinner (pushed it to 11ish): lean cuisine (270), strawberries & yogurt (104) - total: 374 + 3 takis(35) = 409

- 

---

feb. 5

morning mini-walk (purely on a whim, i had the mental energy/desire to while listening to 2016 tunes)

lunch: avocado toast(230), cinn alm. n/v bar(190) - total: 420 + 3 takis = 455

snack: pt1: x pt2: 2 oreo thins (70), tangerine (40) - total: 110

- chew granola bar

- 1 (or 2?) packs of small gummies

~went to campus party after practiceand that's where shi gets crazyyyy~

- 2 white claws, one natural lime, the other raspberry

- 2 soft pork tacos w/ onions, cucumbers, radishes & too much spicy sauce (cilantro on the side but i didn't really eat it, just tasted it after i finished my tacos)

- 2 oreo thins

- some wine, sip of ulta

- budlight at r's dorm, half of buzzball i shared with vivi, sips of 2nd budlight i was handed

- back @ my dorm: small bowl of takis and oreo thins

and then i at some point went to sleep after i was drunkenly (and somewhat high) watching TDI ¯\_(ツ)_/¯