Weight Gain

Oh, did I mention I weight 185, now? *slow claps*
30+ lb gain. Good job, Naomi. You fat fucking cow
It ends here
No Longer Will I gain weight.
I'm going to eat as little as possible and chew&spit as much as I need to until I reach the 160's again.
Then I'll do my "Bones" diet again, which will hopefully take me into the 150's
There, I'll go back to eating 850 calories a day, chewing and spitting when I need to, exercising when I have to.
I don't care if I get sick, it's punishment for being a fucking failure.
All the time I spend eating I could be using to study and up my grade.
I'm a smart person, but obviously not smart enough since I always procrastinate, ruin my grades, and eat myself to a weight I don't want to be
Why am I such a fuck-up?
I need to prove to everyone that I can be good enough. I need to stop being so disappointing.

Goals:
180 by May 15th (which isn't going to happen because once again, FAT ASS)
171 by May 25th
168 by May 30th
164 by June 5th
158 by June 15th (last day of school)
128 by August 13th (my birthday)
120 by the start of school
94 lbs by December 31st

Let's fucking do this.