Mainly rants & meanspo --> road to 50kg
Started by Florida_Kilos, Jul 07 2021 07:03 AM
92 replies to this topic
#1 
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Posted 07 July 2021 - 07:03 AM
Late to the party to start my own accountability thread but here we are. I'm big on writing so don't mind me rambling on forever, each post is probably gonna be huge lol. So anyways my little story,,,,
Weighed in at 128 lbs around April and I was pissed. Have always been skinny growing up and in my early 20s, and there I was on the scale feeling like I'm losing grip on my body, one thing that I have always really liked and obsessed over. Maybe it is vanity, or maybe it is being a control freak, or trauma or whatever. I know my high weight only put me at a BMI (~21.6?), and logically I know that is super average and even thin to some people but I was pissed. However, I knew it had an explanation, because my living situation had recently changed so I was eating higher calorie foods more often because of family, etc.
Anyways I made a couple of rules for myself and a couple of goals, my rules I haven't been following that strictly because they are quite difficult some days due to other priorities. But even with my non-strict rules, and high restriction, I have actually gone down quite fast in my opinion so I'm happy, I'll post more in replies, but here are my goals
Around 5'5 but a bit shorter, so that's why the BMIs might be a bit different if you're actually 5'5. Don't come at me for my math lol.
Start/High: 128lbs
GW1: 120 (BMI 20.3)
GW2: 115 (BMI 19.4)
UGW: 110 (BMI 18.6) {I am a bit scared/not sure if I will get here because I don't want family/SO to really notice my loss and I know my parents will worry if I even look slightly thinner one day versus the next, I love them so much I don't want them to worry}
Weighed in at 128 lbs around April and I was pissed. Have always been skinny growing up and in my early 20s, and there I was on the scale feeling like I'm losing grip on my body, one thing that I have always really liked and obsessed over. Maybe it is vanity, or maybe it is being a control freak, or trauma or whatever. I know my high weight only put me at a BMI (~21.6?), and logically I know that is super average and even thin to some people but I was pissed. However, I knew it had an explanation, because my living situation had recently changed so I was eating higher calorie foods more often because of family, etc.
Anyways I made a couple of rules for myself and a couple of goals, my rules I haven't been following that strictly because they are quite difficult some days due to other priorities. But even with my non-strict rules, and high restriction, I have actually gone down quite fast in my opinion so I'm happy, I'll post more in replies, but here are my goals
Around 5'5 but a bit shorter, so that's why the BMIs might be a bit different if you're actually 5'5. Don't come at me for my math lol.
Start/High: 128lbs
GW1: 120 (BMI 20.3)
GW2: 115 (BMI 19.4)
UGW: 110 (BMI 18.6) {I am a bit scared/not sure if I will get here because I don't want family/SO to really notice my loss and I know my parents will worry if I even look slightly thinner one day versus the next, I love them so much I don't want them to worry}
Previously "JustABitThinner"
stats & gifs in spoiler 
Spoiler
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
5'4" / ~116 lbs / b.f ~17.5%
start/high: ~128 lbs [bmi 22.0]
gw1: 120 [bmi 20.6]
gw2: 115 [bmi 19.7]
ugw: 110 [bmi 18.9]
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
#2
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Posted 07 July 2021 - 07:10 AM
Rough progression of my loss so far
Mid April: 127.9
Mid May: 125.8
Mid June: 123.7
Today: 121
One pound away from GW1 but I look the same :/ (even my measurements haven't changed very much, so it's not just body dysmorphia)
Edittt because I have noticed my collar and shoulder bones sticking out a lot more already, so I guess I do look a bit different. But the stomach and legs are my problem areas I would say
Mid April: 127.9
Mid May: 125.8
Mid June: 123.7
Today: 121
One pound away from GW1 but I look the same :/ (even my measurements haven't changed very much, so it's not just body dysmorphia)
Edittt because I have noticed my collar and shoulder bones sticking out a lot more already, so I guess I do look a bit different. But the stomach and legs are my problem areas I would say
#3
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Posted 07 July 2021 - 07:19 AM
Now that I have this accountability thread, I'm going to use it like a food diary for my food during the day (won't be specific about dinners - it might be too obvious if anyone I know sees this, but I'll post the calories for dinner at least). I will also occasionally post some of the rules I'm trying to follow (not going to post the whole list because I don't want this thread to ever be found and give off 2010 tumblr vibes with "tips n tricks" lol)
Today I haven't eaten anything yet but it is only 10 am and I am not planning to fast since I have a lot of work today. Yesterday I had a snack that I am craving again today, it is Nutella on toast with banana slices. I know it sounds like a calorie bomb but it's actually not terrible, and I high restrict and so have a bit of flexibility. I am probably having it for breakfast so calories are:
2 toast slices: 180cl
1 medium banana: 105 cl
2 tbsp Nutella: 200 cl
Total breakfast: 485 cl (a bit of a yikes but I don't think I'm having a big dinner today, family made a huge one yesterday so we don't usually do that two days in a row)
Today I haven't eaten anything yet but it is only 10 am and I am not planning to fast since I have a lot of work today. Yesterday I had a snack that I am craving again today, it is Nutella on toast with banana slices. I know it sounds like a calorie bomb but it's actually not terrible, and I high restrict and so have a bit of flexibility. I am probably having it for breakfast so calories are:
2 toast slices: 180cl
1 medium banana: 105 cl
2 tbsp Nutella: 200 cl
Total breakfast: 485 cl (a bit of a yikes but I don't think I'm having a big dinner today, family made a huge one yesterday so we don't usually do that two days in a row)
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Posted 07 July 2021 - 11:07 AM
Pretty big lunch container of leftover pasta I'm gonna have to eat .... calculated 570 cl. I don't feel as bad since I'm close to my GW1 and I'm just hungrier today. Depending on what's for dinner I'm gonna be over my cal limit ~1300cl but exercising today
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Posted 07 July 2021 - 05:56 PM
Crap, didn't plan well and my dinner is all carbs and fat just like my lunch and breakfast. So basically no/minimal protein today... final calorie count is 1810 fuckkkk. And I didn't have time to exercise or even go on a walk. Well, whatever I guess. I've had several days like this the past few weeks and still been losing somehow, slowly and steady I guess :/ tomorrow will be a better day.
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Posted 08 July 2021 - 07:23 AM
Breakfast: yogurt w/ pb powder, 180 cl
Lunch: broth, 10 cl
Hope I can make it to dinner with just this today. Maybe more broth if I get hungry
Edit #1: yayyy I wasn't hungry all day! Dinner is not something I really like so I ate some chicken white meat with sauce beforehand, and juice when taking my vitamins, leaving me with 700 calories left for the day, will be totally fine to eat the parts of dinner that I like, maybe even a dessert after? 🥺 we shall see only if I'm good
Edit #2: yayy again, I finished the day within my calorie limit, ending up at (a high estimate of) 1240. No dessert after dinner, because my SO was kinda stressing/bumming me out about other stuff going on
but it's good I forgot about it.
I'm seeing family this weekend, I really hope they do NOT notice my loss (they shouldn't - it's barely showing) because I know they will worry :/
Lunch: broth, 10 cl
Hope I can make it to dinner with just this today. Maybe more broth if I get hungry
Edit #1: yayyy I wasn't hungry all day! Dinner is not something I really like so I ate some chicken white meat with sauce beforehand, and juice when taking my vitamins, leaving me with 700 calories left for the day, will be totally fine to eat the parts of dinner that I like, maybe even a dessert after? 🥺 we shall see only if I'm good
Edit #2: yayy again, I finished the day within my calorie limit, ending up at (a high estimate of) 1240. No dessert after dinner, because my SO was kinda stressing/bumming me out about other stuff going on
but it's good I forgot about it.I'm seeing family this weekend, I really hope they do NOT notice my loss (they shouldn't - it's barely showing) because I know they will worry :/
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Posted 09 July 2021 - 10:37 AM
Today no weigh in (yesterday was 121.5lbs, forgot to mention)
So far it's been an absolute shit day of running around doing stuff for work, personal documents, people pissing me off, etc. No time to eat until lunch when I was a fucking cow. I feel like I've become a meaner, less patient person since restricting. It's not even just "being hangry all the time" because I'm not. I'm just turning more into a cold hearted bitch and you know what, I kind of fucking like it. I've always been sweet and gotten stepped on, that's enough.
Anyways excuse my rambling & overall shit posting on this thread, maybe I'll make a new accountability for my next two goals, a nicer one, more aesthetic maybe.
Brunch?/lunch? : 2 eggs, 2 toast, chicken white meat and sauce, coming in at the highest 700 cal, wasn't that accurate with my sauce or chicken but loving the amount of protein I had. I'm a protein whore if you couldn't tell. I'm sort of athletic so I love that I see my little mini muscles more and more as I lose, want to keep those looking good.
Anyways, only around 600 cal at most left for dinner, which will be difficult to stay within that but I'll see. Update coming soon. Hopefully my day gets a bit better I am so stressed about everything
Edit before bed: only had 1150 cal today, yesss. But my day still sucked and I'm overwhelmed and stressed and actually crying myself to sleep lol :/ night
So far it's been an absolute shit day of running around doing stuff for work, personal documents, people pissing me off, etc. No time to eat until lunch when I was a fucking cow. I feel like I've become a meaner, less patient person since restricting. It's not even just "being hangry all the time" because I'm not. I'm just turning more into a cold hearted bitch and you know what, I kind of fucking like it. I've always been sweet and gotten stepped on, that's enough.
Anyways excuse my rambling & overall shit posting on this thread, maybe I'll make a new accountability for my next two goals, a nicer one, more aesthetic maybe.
Brunch?/lunch? : 2 eggs, 2 toast, chicken white meat and sauce, coming in at the highest 700 cal, wasn't that accurate with my sauce or chicken but loving the amount of protein I had. I'm a protein whore if you couldn't tell. I'm sort of athletic so I love that I see my little mini muscles more and more as I lose, want to keep those looking good.
Anyways, only around 600 cal at most left for dinner, which will be difficult to stay within that but I'll see. Update coming soon. Hopefully my day gets a bit better I am so stressed about everything
Edit before bed: only had 1150 cal today, yesss. But my day still sucked and I'm overwhelmed and stressed and actually crying myself to sleep lol :/ night
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Posted 10 July 2021 - 09:51 PM
No weigh in today, usually save those for weekdays. Mood is better overall. But food today was insane because of some family things. I lost track completely. I found a food on MyFitnessPal literally called "binge - 1500 cal" so I added that for all the stuff I forgot about. And with the stuff I remembered, I ended up at like 2500 cal or something on the app, yikes. Anywayyyys tomorrow is probably gonna be bad too, so much easier on the weekdays :/
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Posted 12 July 2021 - 07:30 AM
Like I predicted, Sunday was bad calorie wise but I was quite active. Weigh in this morning was UP to 123 lbs :/ but I know it must be food weight because digestion has not been great either if you know what I mean.
Currently, I am hungry, but I will just have a tea and wait for lunchtime to eat something small. Hope I can do it, will update later
Update #1: my tea is so warm and cozy and suppressing my appetite yayyy. I think lunch will be some veggies and fruit before a work thing I have. Also forgot to mention I'm wearing a corset for waist training and dang, it really does improve your prosture I think! First time I have a real one and it really does make me feel so elegant, loving it
Update #2: lunch was veggies like I wanted yay, but also had some cheese and little cut slices of bread. I stopped wearing my corset because it was getting a bit too much after a few hours, I'm going to try wearing it everyday until lunch time or so. At dinner I was very good and today my overall cals were 1200, and I was active! I had a few M&m chocolates, but whatever, still within my cal count!
Currently, I am hungry, but I will just have a tea and wait for lunchtime to eat something small. Hope I can do it, will update later
Update #1: my tea is so warm and cozy and suppressing my appetite yayyy. I think lunch will be some veggies and fruit before a work thing I have. Also forgot to mention I'm wearing a corset for waist training and dang, it really does improve your prosture I think! First time I have a real one and it really does make me feel so elegant, loving it
Update #2: lunch was veggies like I wanted yay, but also had some cheese and little cut slices of bread. I stopped wearing my corset because it was getting a bit too much after a few hours, I'm going to try wearing it everyday until lunch time or so. At dinner I was very good and today my overall cals were 1200, and I was active! I had a few M&m chocolates, but whatever, still within my cal count!
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Posted 13 July 2021 - 07:25 AM
Weigh in today put me back at 121.3 (121 after bathroom which is more accurate, but when I get to goal weights I want that to be inclusive of any food in my system too) so still hovering about 1-1.5 lbs away from my GW1. Haven't eaten or drank anything yet, but I feel like today will be hard...I'm getting junk food cravings and I don't know if I can c/s them :/
Edit 1: went a bit crazy...breakfast was 160 cal, okay going well...then lunch was 545, a bit high but hey dinner will be small...THEN I HAD NOT 1 NOT 2 BUT 4 COOKIES for 380 cals and honestly a bitch is bout to go see how many m&m candies I can fit into my mouth because the chocolate craving is real.....FUCK ...... will update after dinner with the final cal count but I already estimated my dinner cals and probably going to fall at 1800 today. Crap. I can't wait to have no junk food temptations when I move out because I'm not buying that shit
Edit 2: dinner was what I estimated for, putting my calories today at 1800. I'm sad and stressed for some other reasons and this is just adding on to it x 100.
Edit 1: went a bit crazy...breakfast was 160 cal, okay going well...then lunch was 545, a bit high but hey dinner will be small...THEN I HAD NOT 1 NOT 2 BUT 4 COOKIES for 380 cals and honestly a bitch is bout to go see how many m&m candies I can fit into my mouth because the chocolate craving is real.....FUCK ...... will update after dinner with the final cal count but I already estimated my dinner cals and probably going to fall at 1800 today. Crap. I can't wait to have no junk food temptations when I move out because I'm not buying that shit
Edit 2: dinner was what I estimated for, putting my calories today at 1800. I'm sad and stressed for some other reasons and this is just adding on to it x 100.
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Posted 14 July 2021 - 08:55 AM
Forgot to weigh in today but bloating is gone, stomach was actually looking kind of...okay? (But then again, whenever I think my stomach looks flat-ish, pictures bring me back to reality :/ )
Anyways....today for breakfast/lunch all I'm having is water and m&m chcolates. Estimating 250 cals, which leaves me a lot of room for dinner. But I have to run errands before dinner so I might have to eat something else before going out. Ugh. Will edit how it goes later.
Edit: I had just M&ms, and broth all day until dinner, yayyyyy. But for dinner I had fast food yikes and the drink machine wasn't working for Coke Zero so I had regular 🤢 I didn't even try getting Diet Coke what was wrong with me omg. I felt too weird, it's already weird to people that I drink diet/zero drinks so I don't want to be that person all the time I guess :/ I had half my drink only. And my total cals for the day was still just 1100 so I'm good I guess...
Non-eating related, just want to post here so I can hopefully look back in a few months and hopefully everything turned out okay, but anyways, I'm going through quite a terribly stressful time currently, along with my SO and we are both just trying our best with a stressful situation we're in. We're lucky to have each other and I hope and pray we always will, they are my rock and the love of my life. I hope everything will work out soon, I'll be stressed and sad until then
Anyways....today for breakfast/lunch all I'm having is water and m&m chcolates. Estimating 250 cals, which leaves me a lot of room for dinner. But I have to run errands before dinner so I might have to eat something else before going out. Ugh. Will edit how it goes later.
Edit: I had just M&ms, and broth all day until dinner, yayyyyy. But for dinner I had fast food yikes and the drink machine wasn't working for Coke Zero so I had regular 🤢 I didn't even try getting Diet Coke what was wrong with me omg. I felt too weird, it's already weird to people that I drink diet/zero drinks so I don't want to be that person all the time I guess :/ I had half my drink only. And my total cals for the day was still just 1100 so I'm good I guess...
Non-eating related, just want to post here so I can hopefully look back in a few months and hopefully everything turned out okay, but anyways, I'm going through quite a terribly stressful time currently, along with my SO and we are both just trying our best with a stressful situation we're in. We're lucky to have each other and I hope and pray we always will, they are my rock and the love of my life. I hope everything will work out soon, I'll be stressed and sad until then
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Posted 15 July 2021 - 10:27 AM
Forgot to weigh in today since I had a crazy morning. Lunch was 525 cals and all I had so far today. Today the weather is nice enough for a jog after work, hopefully I will have time for a long one, it's been a while and it will be good to decompress. Thinking about dinner and estimating it to be about 700 cals. Hopefully I can go a bit less than that and also burn a lot from my jog. Will update later
Edit: end of day calories: 1300, and burned off 260 so net around ~1000! I hadn't gone for a jog (or any exercise really..) for a long time but I still had it !
Edit: end of day calories: 1300, and burned off 260 so net around ~1000! I hadn't gone for a jog (or any exercise really..) for a long time but I still had it !
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Posted 16 July 2021 - 08:46 AM
Today weigh in was 120.4 yall, getting close to GW1! It's weird that I lost about 8 lbs since this started and my measurements & look haven't changed all that much...I guess I don't have to be that worried about getting down to 110 (I originally was because I didn't want to look too different and have people worried, but I don't think that's going to be an issue I guess).
Haven't eaten today yet but it's nearly lunch so I'm gonna have to figure something out (hopefully low cal bc fridays and weekends are usually calorie bombs here). I've been having a lot of cravings lately so I'm really considering a few days/weeks(?) of maintenance once I hit 120lbs .... I'm scared and I don't want to ruin my losing flow but the hunger hasn't been enjoyable the past few days.... anyways, will update after dinner as usual
Haven't eaten today yet but it's nearly lunch so I'm gonna have to figure something out (hopefully low cal bc fridays and weekends are usually calorie bombs here). I've been having a lot of cravings lately so I'm really considering a few days/weeks(?) of maintenance once I hit 120lbs .... I'm scared and I don't want to ruin my losing flow but the hunger hasn't been enjoyable the past few days.... anyways, will update after dinner as usual
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Posted 17 July 2021 - 09:34 AM
Yesterday's cal total was 1600, still under my TDEE but today's weigh in put me in a bad mood, 123.4 lbs :/ that is way more than i expected even if it is just food and water weight that surprised me....
Anyways weekends are usually a complete disaster because of eating around people...I think breakfast was already well over 600 cals..I'll update at the end of the day with my final count I guess but it's gonna be crap.
Update: ohhhh lorrrrddddtt. weekends are the worst, I had over 2000 today for sure. And just to make myself feel worse about it I weighed myself after all the days eating, and my fat ass was back up to 126..........like excuse me that's dangerously close to my HW and I was literally a pound away from 120 earlier this week.... I know it was my own fault weighing myself after all that food but damn what in the fuck! I hope I piss & shit my brains out tomorrow and drop at least 6 pounds, that was fucked up roday!
Anyways weekends are usually a complete disaster because of eating around people...I think breakfast was already well over 600 cals..I'll update at the end of the day with my final count I guess but it's gonna be crap.
Update: ohhhh lorrrrddddtt. weekends are the worst, I had over 2000 today for sure. And just to make myself feel worse about it I weighed myself after all the days eating, and my fat ass was back up to 126..........like excuse me that's dangerously close to my HW and I was literally a pound away from 120 earlier this week.... I know it was my own fault weighing myself after all that food but damn what in the fuck! I hope I piss & shit my brains out tomorrow and drop at least 6 pounds, that was fucked up roday!
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Posted 19 July 2021 - 08:54 AM
Weigh in this morning was 123 again :/ I know I ate a lot on the weekend, it wasn't by choice though, just the meals being served. It was delicious but always puts me back in my progress. I feel like every week I have to make up for the weekend, and then start over again next week. It's not fair I was so close to my GW1 just a few days ago. I will weigh in everyday this week to see if it's water and food weight, I hope so. And to continue the weekend's eating there are so many leftovers I can't throw away but I also can't say no to, so that's what's going on now :/
Today's eating: slice of breakfast cake (255cals?), broth (10cals), and for lunch I plan to have a 400cal leftover I've been eyeing in the fridge, ugh. That will leave me about 650 for dinner, totalling around 1300 cals a day which is going to be the slowest weight loss ever. Whatever.
Edit: final cals today was 1500. Over my limit for sure but not that alarming I guess. I'm just exhausted by everything and everyone lately. I want to stop eating but being around people makes it impossible. When I'm alone I'm good, can easily eat under 1000 a day. Maybe I can somehow skip dinner tomorrow and just have my usual lower-ish cal lunch. Dinner is always the biggest meal, and I do not like big dinners at all. I feel miserable but logically I know there is nothing to be sad about, I just feel horrible.
Today's eating: slice of breakfast cake (255cals?), broth (10cals), and for lunch I plan to have a 400cal leftover I've been eyeing in the fridge, ugh. That will leave me about 650 for dinner, totalling around 1300 cals a day which is going to be the slowest weight loss ever. Whatever.
Edit: final cals today was 1500. Over my limit for sure but not that alarming I guess. I'm just exhausted by everything and everyone lately. I want to stop eating but being around people makes it impossible. When I'm alone I'm good, can easily eat under 1000 a day. Maybe I can somehow skip dinner tomorrow and just have my usual lower-ish cal lunch. Dinner is always the biggest meal, and I do not like big dinners at all. I feel miserable but logically I know there is nothing to be sad about, I just feel horrible.
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Posted 20 July 2021 - 09:59 AM
Weigh in was 122.4 lbs this morning. No idea how it is up so high since last week (120.4).....but then again my cycle coming up could be to blame. No way I ate an extra 7000 cals to gain 2 lbs since last week 🤢
Breakfast was yogurt with powdered PB, 180 cals
Lunch was 2 eggs with a bun, 340 cals
Hoping to keep dinner only around 500-600 cals at most, I have some things coming up I'd like to be in good shape for...will update later
Edit: damn 1700 cals total today yikes... I feel like tomorrow's weigh in is going to really mess with me.... stressed again about other stuff but I guess not that bad
Breakfast was yogurt with powdered PB, 180 cals
Lunch was 2 eggs with a bun, 340 cals
Hoping to keep dinner only around 500-600 cals at most, I have some things coming up I'd like to be in good shape for...will update later
Edit: damn 1700 cals total today yikes... I feel like tomorrow's weigh in is going to really mess with me.... stressed again about other stuff but I guess not that bad
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Posted 21 July 2021 - 05:54 AM
Couldn't weigh this morning so don't know where I stand today. So far breakfast was 170 cal. I really want to be at 115 or lower by September 1st.
Edit: ate 1500 and burned 250 with exercise. My mood is changing so fast from even a small, innocent sounding comment and I don't know what's wrong with me.
Edit: ate 1500 and burned 250 with exercise. My mood is changing so fast from even a small, innocent sounding comment and I don't know what's wrong with me.
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Posted 22 July 2021 - 12:58 PM
My weigh in told me I'm still at 122 so I don't even know what to think....I don't even know if my 120 last week was real at this point....after seeing that on the scale I proceeded to binge 520 calories of junk food like a fat fucking idiot....I haven't eaten since that this morning but I'm sure I'll go over my limit at dinner....
Also weird but I had a dream I was so close to my GW2 (115lbs) and my mom was so worried about me and made me weigh infront of her in my dream. lol that is still a healthy weight for my height and I'm an adult but I can definitely see her doing that anyways....
Update: ended up eating 1800 and burning about 200....not happy with that and of course the weekend is coming up so I know it's gonna be so much food and I didn't do well this week
Also weird but I had a dream I was so close to my GW2 (115lbs) and my mom was so worried about me and made me weigh infront of her in my dream. lol that is still a healthy weight for my height and I'm an adult but I can definitely see her doing that anyways....
Update: ended up eating 1800 and burning about 200....not happy with that and of course the weekend is coming up so I know it's gonna be so much food and I didn't do well this week
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Posted 23 July 2021 - 08:58 AM
Today weigh in at 122.4. I have no clue what the hell is happening other than yes, my hormones are going kinda crazy but I'm scared my weight will still be this high even after they regulate :/ I ate a huge brunch, 660 cals, because usually that will keep me full enough the whole day I won't snack. Let's hope so.
Update: alright alright, healthy lunch & snack was ~450, and healthy dinner was ~330 yall! Ate a total of 1355 and also burned off 285, so I'm alright today! Really hope I don't eat anything else today, it's still early but happy I've been on track today! Update later: hell ya i didn't eat anything else
Update: alright alright, healthy lunch & snack was ~450, and healthy dinner was ~330 yall! Ate a total of 1355 and also burned off 285, so I'm alright today! Really hope I don't eat anything else today, it's still early but happy I've been on track today! Update later: hell ya i didn't eat anything else
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Posted 24 July 2021 - 10:17 PM
Oh my god. I think I ate almost 3000 cals today. My crazy family's weekends.... (I love them but Jesus wtf). I don't know how normies think this is okay....it's not okay
My fitness pal gave me the summary "if you ate like today everyday, in 5 weeks you'd be 132 lbs" ....yeah right I'm probably gonna weight that much tomorrow boo, I fucked up. Lol. I want to liquid fast while I'm alone in the house this week. As in, no cal or low cal drinks only until dinner time when I'm forced to eat. I don't know how to fix these weekend binges any other way. High restriction or normal eating during the week is not doing anything because of these damn weekends. Tomorrow I think I'm going to start, there's no way I can put any more food in my body for the next little while this is crazy.
It's especially crazy because I don't do the classic binges and I never have and hopefully never will. I don't have uncontrolled eating moments or anything resembling binge eating disorder (obviously I'm not a professional - but my idea of myself binging is like a 2-4 cookies lol, that's it.) But on the weekends I tend to be around 4 course meals with high calorie foods so even if I limit myself I can't avoid the sheer volume of food... (like today - I did no carbs bitch!!! And it was STILL like 2000 cals at dinner alone....insane)
My fitness pal gave me the summary "if you ate like today everyday, in 5 weeks you'd be 132 lbs" ....yeah right I'm probably gonna weight that much tomorrow boo, I fucked up. Lol. I want to liquid fast while I'm alone in the house this week. As in, no cal or low cal drinks only until dinner time when I'm forced to eat. I don't know how to fix these weekend binges any other way. High restriction or normal eating during the week is not doing anything because of these damn weekends. Tomorrow I think I'm going to start, there's no way I can put any more food in my body for the next little while this is crazy.
It's especially crazy because I don't do the classic binges and I never have and hopefully never will. I don't have uncontrolled eating moments or anything resembling binge eating disorder (obviously I'm not a professional - but my idea of myself binging is like a 2-4 cookies lol, that's it.) But on the weekends I tend to be around 4 course meals with high calorie foods so even if I limit myself I can't avoid the sheer volume of food... (like today - I did no carbs bitch!!! And it was STILL like 2000 cals at dinner alone....insane)
Previously "JustABitThinner"
stats & gifs in spoiler
Spoiler
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
5'4" / ~116 lbs / b.f ~17.5%
start/high: ~128 lbs [bmi 22.0]
gw1: 120 [bmi 20.6]
gw2: 115 [bmi 19.7]
ugw: 110 [bmi 18.9]
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
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Posted 02 February 2022 - 08:21 AM
Lmao so keeping in the shit show fashion that this thread has taken..
Over the weekend I had metabolism days to help my lonnnnnnng ass plateau. But then they actually just turned into straight up binges days (not emotionally, just calorie wise - I had like 3000 cals Friday & Saturday).
BUT THEN...
I got my shit together Sunday-Tuesday (OMAD) and...your girl is 2 lbs lighter today .......did I BREAK THE PLATEAU???!??
BUT THEN AGAIN.....
*tik tok Kanye audio* "I guess we'll never know"
Because I have to eat a bit more normally today hahah shit...... but best believe I'll be back on OMAD tomorrow if I can
Over the weekend I had metabolism days to help my lonnnnnnng ass plateau. But then they actually just turned into straight up binges days (not emotionally, just calorie wise - I had like 3000 cals Friday & Saturday).
BUT THEN...
I got my shit together Sunday-Tuesday (OMAD) and...your girl is 2 lbs lighter today .......did I BREAK THE PLATEAU???!??
BUT THEN AGAIN.....
*tik tok Kanye audio* "I guess we'll never know"
Because I have to eat a bit more normally today hahah shit...... but best believe I'll be back on OMAD tomorrow if I can
Previously "JustABitThinner"
stats & gifs in spoiler
Spoiler
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
5'4" / ~116 lbs / b.f ~17.5%
start/high: ~128 lbs [bmi 22.0]
gw1: 120 [bmi 20.6]
gw2: 115 [bmi 19.7]
ugw: 110 [bmi 18.9]
✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚*•̩̩͙✩
#82
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Posted 18 February 2022 - 06:53 AM
OMAD has been amazing & surprisingly easy but my weight loss is so freaking slow bc of my shitty metabolism I guess! Only 1 lb truly lost in February so far..
#84
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Posted 14 March 2022 - 09:55 AM
Ugh I'm so dumb I'm literally losing but still feel like a fat ass and of course I had to expose myself for it. Just dumb shit like talking about "___ used to weigh less than me at my age/height" and obviously it just makes it sound like I'm not even small/getting small :/ obviously people are getting sus with this and other comments. I need to learn to shut the hell up
#85
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Posted 24 March 2022 - 05:39 PM
You are literally the biggest, laziest fucking fatass I've ever seen. You can't eat like a fucking pig and still expect to lose while barely working it off. You fucking stupid failure can't say no to anything. You're disgusting. Your rolls are fucking disgusting. You're fat jigly legs are fucking disgusting. Your fucking neck lines are disgusting. Your fat flabby ass arms are truly rupulsive. Your chubby checks are fucking disgusting. You are a worthless piece of shit
- a love letter from me 2 me
- a love letter from me 2 me
#86
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Posted 04 April 2022 - 03:10 PM
Yikes coming back here after a good few days and seeing my last post, I was in a bad place lol. I mean i feel much better now but am I still fat and disgusting yes. My 20.5 BMI won't fucking budge again and my metabolism is of course not making any sense. I lost a bunch when I was doing OMAD but was it just water weight?? Because it's basically almost all back...?
So I'm trying to fix it I guess. I've been exercising, sleeping well, eating well (ok, there was a bp incident but so minor). Anyways I really am doing everything right. And I feel better. I just wish I could look better too. If im not down to 110 by the beginning of summer what will this all be for anyways? It's literally not even 10lbs away, what is making it SO DIFFICULT.
I know I'm trying to fix this mess I've put my metabolism and hunger cues through but I also kinda wanna start a fast for the rest of the month oops lol. I guess we'll see
So I'm trying to fix it I guess. I've been exercising, sleeping well, eating well (ok, there was a bp incident but so minor). Anyways I really am doing everything right. And I feel better. I just wish I could look better too. If im not down to 110 by the beginning of summer what will this all be for anyways? It's literally not even 10lbs away, what is making it SO DIFFICULT.
I know I'm trying to fix this mess I've put my metabolism and hunger cues through but I also kinda wanna start a fast for the rest of the month oops lol. I guess we'll see
#88
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Posted 12 April 2022 - 01:36 PM
When I came back from my run today I noticed how skinny fat (read: FAT because you keep binging...) I've been getting and just wow, yuck :/
#89
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Posted 13 April 2022 - 09:02 AM
Today thinspo is hitting different than ever before and something switched off in my head that said don't eat. Gonna have to use Easter as cheat days because I am back on my bullshit. I will fast those days anyways before the family meal or whatever. Tea only so far today <3
Somewhere between 500-900 today (those pesky hard to track home cooked cals). On track to my skinni mini goal
Somewhere between 500-900 today (those pesky hard to track home cooked cals). On track to my skinni mini goal
#90
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Posted 14 April 2022 - 06:54 AM
Already lost my bloating gain from last week and back to 117. I can definitely be 115 before my bday but I want to try for even less, maybe 112 I hope
Edit later in the day: new trigger figured out, working out infront of a mirror with low waist pants on 🤢 can't believe I let myself get to this point ...
Edit later in the day: new trigger figured out, working out infront of a mirror with low waist pants on 🤢 can't believe I let myself get to this point ...
#91
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Posted 28 April 2022 - 08:13 AM
I have been so stressed out lately and additionally, worried for someone in a situation. It really isn't doing me good anymore being on this site for hours a day. I want to weigh 110-112 lbs in one month, but I am about 117-120 right now, it is not going to happen safely - so I need to give up on that dream. I will get there when it happens more naturally overtime with excesise, generally more active lifestyle this summer, and mild high restriction.
I just need to focus on other aspects of my life right now and this is driving me literally crazy, like lunatic crazy. This is not goodbye, I love this site and restricting truly made me so happy for so much time. I just can't right now. I have so much else I need to do. See you later. Maybe once a week or even less.
I just need to focus on other aspects of my life right now and this is driving me literally crazy, like lunatic crazy. This is not goodbye, I love this site and restricting truly made me so happy for so much time. I just can't right now. I have so much else I need to do. See you later. Maybe once a week or even less.
#92
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Posted 04 May 2022 - 07:07 AM
I've been working out a LOT lately and it's making me so fcking hungry - and my hunger cues are back from actually eating it's so embarrassing I'm hungry as soon as I wake up now which I've literally never had in my life
Holy shit I broke into 116lbs though! Fuck YES. That means.......technically if I just lose 2lbs a week, which is "healthy" I could technically be 110 by the end of this month. HOLY SHIT. Then my HOT girl summer vision will actually come true? I'm going to cry of excitement. I need to walk or jog 5K today I cannot start slacking like I always do after a new low
I'm hungry as soon as I wake up now which I've literally never had in my lifeHoly shit I broke into 116lbs though! Fuck YES. That means.......technically if I just lose 2lbs a week, which is "healthy" I could technically be 110 by the end of this month. HOLY SHIT. Then my HOT girl summer vision will actually come true? I'm going to cry of excitement. I need to walk or jog 5K today I cannot start slacking like I always do after a new low
#93
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Posted 06 May 2022 - 07:43 PM
Omfg. I've been soooo fcking good lately, but now I have to literally halt or else I'm screwed :/ my bridesmaid dress came in for my friends wedding and it literally fits like a GLOVE. Omfg I absolutely love it but I literally can't lose because alterations?? Too broke for that and the dress is way too complicated it would not be cheap.
Sooooo holy shit I guess I can't really lose much or at all anymore before the summer? Fuck me :/ maybe if I try it on every week or something to make sure it's still okay? I was low key hoping I'd have to lose more to fit it but I guess I'm iight :/
Sooooo holy shit I guess I can't really lose much or at all anymore before the summer? Fuck me :/ maybe if I try it on every week or something to make sure it's still okay? I was low key hoping I'd have to lose more to fit it but I guess I'm iight :/
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