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Posted Yesterday, 08:46 AM
Good morning. Restarted my fast, goal is 72+ hours, and i’m only 10 hours in. Shot up 2 pounds to 116.8 because of food weight. Hopefully it fucks off fast. I’ve made myself schedules so I’ll be busy while I’m fasting and hopefully that will lead to success. I work today for only 5 hours, thankfully an evening shift so when I get home I can go straight to bed. The next couple days I have off so the scheduling myself is necessary so i don’t eat out of boredom. Its mostly just chores but it will keep me busy.
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#203 
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Posted Yesterday, 07:28 PM
I want to fucking off myself. Being alive just isn’t worth it. Too fucking expensive. I need to come up with $1300 dollars asap because my car is uninsured and im so fucking scared of getting a huge ticket and a court date like last year. I cant fucking afford anything. Dont have money for weed either. I dont want to ask my parents, how the fuck do i even ask for that much money? I cant ask my bf to pay, seems like a dick move. I literally only have $200 and my credit card is maxed out at $3k. Im fucking screwed. Wtf do i do, walk over an hour across town, up and down hills through the shitty areas to go to work??? How tf will my bf get to work??? Fuck my life.
Anyways i’m 20.5 hours into my fast and want to end it already because of how frustrated i am with my finances. Im such a goddamn mess. This shit should’ve been paid months ago but i cant screw my head on right and i always put shit off until it fucks me. I hate myself so much.
Anyways i’m 20.5 hours into my fast and want to end it already because of how frustrated i am with my finances. Im such a goddamn mess. This shit should’ve been paid months ago but i cant screw my head on right and i always put shit off until it fucks me. I hate myself so much.
#205
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Posted Yesterday, 08:58 PM
22 hours. I really need to head to bed. I’m so so hungry. Headache is killer. Sore throat. Dehydrated despite trying my best to drink water. Sore from work. Stressed about cash. And no weed 
I am a sad little piggie
I am a sad little piggie
#206
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Posted Today, 06:46 AM
4.April.2022
Starting Weight, 121.2 BMI, 22.9 BF%, 27.9
Current Weight, 116.8 BMI, 22.1 BF%, 25.8
Heart Rate, 55 bpm
Steps, 7,271 / 10,000
Calories Burned, 2,122
Hours Fasted, 24
Notes,
Had kind of a shitty day. But at-least I didn’t eat anything! Felt kinda sick and idk if its from fasting and working too hard, or potentially covid, or maybe that kid that coughed in my fucking face the other day. Honestly i’ve gotten sick about 3 times since the mask mandate was lifted, people are so germy and gross i hate it. Symptoms are sore throat, congestion, headache, and body aches. Could just be from working too hard or dehydration idk.
Then today i was hella stressed because my car insurance expired and im terrified of having to pay an insane ticket if i get caught driving like last year. So not only am i worried about my weight, i’m worried about coming up with $1200+.
Starting Weight, 121.2 BMI, 22.9 BF%, 27.9
Current Weight, 116.8 BMI, 22.1 BF%, 25.8
Heart Rate, 55 bpm
Steps, 7,271 / 10,000
Calories Burned, 2,122
Hours Fasted, 24
Notes,
Had kind of a shitty day. But at-least I didn’t eat anything! Felt kinda sick and idk if its from fasting and working too hard, or potentially covid, or maybe that kid that coughed in my fucking face the other day. Honestly i’ve gotten sick about 3 times since the mask mandate was lifted, people are so germy and gross i hate it. Symptoms are sore throat, congestion, headache, and body aches. Could just be from working too hard or dehydration idk.
Then today i was hella stressed because my car insurance expired and im terrified of having to pay an insane ticket if i get caught driving like last year. So not only am i worried about my weight, i’m worried about coming up with $1200+.
#207
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Posted Today, 07:40 AM
Down to 114.2 today. Might break my fast early today because I kinda feel like crap but idk. If i don’t eat then i should be 113 tomorrow. If i eat then i’ll be 116 again tomorrow. And eating involves so much self control, like am i restricting, am i eating whatever, or will that evolve into binge behaviour? Will the food i eat make me bloated or constipated, will the food i eat cause more cravings or will it satisfy them? Do i eat strict keto or do i eat the carbs I’m craving? Too many goddamn variables.
Anyways i’m on hour 32, nearly 33.
Anyways i’m on hour 32, nearly 33.
#208
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Posted Today, 11:02 AM
Just throwing it out there but imm so sick of looking after my parents dog. He eats so loudly it makes me want to self harm, the sensory experience is near painful. He drinks loudly as well and slops water and drool all over the floor. His big paws make a huge mess of water and mud whenever he goes outside. When he is outside he takes massive dumps and digs up our grass. He sheds so badly its fucking disgusting. He constantly pants and his breath smells horrid. He stinks in general. My bedroom reeks of animal smell and it makes me want to cry. He jumps on the couch or the bed when we tell him no. He has even ruined one of my squishmallows by slobbering all over it. Im sick of him. Its been 2.5 weeks and i want him gone.
Also my cat has literally gained 2 pounds because he keeps gorging himself on dog food so thats another annoyance. Im just so sick of smelling and hearing the dog. I hate big dogs. They are gross. Tbh even my small dog is gross but she isn’t even 1/4 as messy and smelly and annoying as the big dog. I just wish my parents would come back from their trip and take him back. I wish they had just left him at a boarding shelter. I understand though that its cheaper and less stressful for the dog to stay with me. But doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
Btw still hungry, still thinking about food. Really want weed to smoke. But all i have is 2 joints. Useless. Still stressed about the insurance payment. Too embarrassed to ask my parents for help. Weather is shitty outside. Idk i just feel so blah. Need weed. Need a consistent train of thought thats not about food lol.
Also my cat has literally gained 2 pounds because he keeps gorging himself on dog food so thats another annoyance. Im just so sick of smelling and hearing the dog. I hate big dogs. They are gross. Tbh even my small dog is gross but she isn’t even 1/4 as messy and smelly and annoying as the big dog. I just wish my parents would come back from their trip and take him back. I wish they had just left him at a boarding shelter. I understand though that its cheaper and less stressful for the dog to stay with me. But doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
Btw still hungry, still thinking about food. Really want weed to smoke. But all i have is 2 joints. Useless. Still stressed about the insurance payment. Too embarrassed to ask my parents for help. Weather is shitty outside. Idk i just feel so blah. Need weed. Need a consistent train of thought thats not about food lol.
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