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Posted 28 March 2022 - 08:12 PM
Hollllyyyyyyyy fucking shit omg.
TMI TMI... TMI! Dear diary,
I needed that relief tbh. I think I’ll keep him around for sexual satisfaction. And still date other men of course.
—-> Next post about my fasting and intake!
TMI TMI... TMI! Dear diary,
Spoiler
Tonight...M2 and I made out in his nice ass BMW and things got a little more spicier....Tonight was also the night I found out that I could squirt. Wtf evennnn. Omg. 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 Total dom/sub shit transpired and I’ve also come to find out that I enjoy being slapped. Not sure how things got so heated, but when things got the touching and we got the kissing...welp 😬. Thank goodness his seats were leather. My mini skirt got drenched, and so did his seat. Omgggg. Wait. Am I only able to squirt if fingered? Anyway, he did that shit. I enjoyed it. Mhmm.
I needed that relief tbh. I think I’ll keep him around for sexual satisfaction. And still date other men of course.
—-> Next post about my fasting and intake!
#129 
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Posted 28 March 2022 - 08:56 PM
Fasted 44h20min! 
Political correct: “I’ve fasted for over 44 hours”
Anorexia: *On Monday evening* I haven’t eaten anything since Saturday”
What is the fucking difference?
I don’t care, but when people start asking me how I lost weight, I’m going to tell them, “I fasted a lot...I didn’t eat much...I ate once a day.” Idgaf and don’t need anyone feeling worried. I’m just ‘normalizing’ what I feel. What’s wrong with telling the truth and being open? We do it with our therapists for $$$, so why not to others for free (like on MPA)? Anyway, just a little rant I thought of after reflecting about my fast today and the way my classmate (L) looked at me as I chugged my water.
SO..! Yay for exceeding my fasting of 36 hours, wahoo. I feel great and my headache eventually went away later in the day!
Intake (M2 and I went to a Turkish restaurant): bottle of Pinot noir (shared, but I let him drink more), bread and tomato sauce, baba ghanoush with sliced carrots and cucumbers, “shakshuska” (so good, it had eggplant, zucchini, and squash with tomatoes in a garlic tomato sauce), zucchini pancake, and “adana kebab” (super tasty, yum!!), and “kanzandibi”
We shared all of that.
Dinner was great. The scale may definitely read higher though.
Political correct: “I’ve fasted for over 44 hours”
Anorexia: *On Monday evening* I haven’t eaten anything since Saturday”
What is the fucking difference?
I don’t care, but when people start asking me how I lost weight, I’m going to tell them, “I fasted a lot...I didn’t eat much...I ate once a day.” Idgaf and don’t need anyone feeling worried. I’m just ‘normalizing’ what I feel. What’s wrong with telling the truth and being open? We do it with our therapists for $$$, so why not to others for free (like on MPA)? Anyway, just a little rant I thought of after reflecting about my fast today and the way my classmate (L) looked at me as I chugged my water.
SO..! Yay for exceeding my fasting of 36 hours, wahoo. I feel great and my headache eventually went away later in the day!
Intake (M2 and I went to a Turkish restaurant): bottle of Pinot noir (shared, but I let him drink more), bread and tomato sauce, baba ghanoush with sliced carrots and cucumbers, “shakshuska” (so good, it had eggplant, zucchini, and squash with tomatoes in a garlic tomato sauce), zucchini pancake, and “adana kebab” (super tasty, yum!!), and “kanzandibi”
We shared all of that.
Dinner was great. The scale may definitely read higher though.
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#130
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#131
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Posted 28 March 2022 - 09:06 PM
Girl, I have so much fun reading your accountability! You have so much personality, and you're really pretty <3
(sorry if this sounds stalker-liscious, I just get bored, and read accountabilities like the morning news)
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#132
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Posted 28 March 2022 - 09:12 PM
tenshi.xoxo, on 28 Mar 2022 - 9:06 PM, said:
Girl, I have so much fun reading your accountability! You have so much personality, and you're really pretty <3
(sorry if this sounds stalker-liscious, I just get bored, and read accountabilities like the morning news)
Awh!! (=
=)That is sweet, thank you! And thanks so much for stopping by haha! I’m the same way regarding “morning news” 🤣🤣🤣 it’s good to have consistency in our lives! We know our weigh-ins aren’t haha. So, not stalkerish at all! 😆
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Posted 29 March 2022 - 06:56 AM
thittlelighs, on 28 Mar 2022 - 06:13 AM, said:
✨✨✨✨✨164.8 today!
164.4 today
Seems like the longer I fast in-between, the less weight I gain after a huge OMAD. My plan is 36+ of fasting, but I opened my fridge and saw some food I don’t want to spoil (would be wasted $$$), so I’ll have to implement those soon! Maybe I’ll opt for 18 hours.
Feeling good today!
#134
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#135
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Posted 30 March 2022 - 10:46 PM
Tuesday, 29 March
Intake: SO SHITTY, WHYYYY
Short rib entree and side of Mac and cheese from a restaurant, Vending machine: 2 packs of Funyuns, 1 lack of Reese’s cup (2pc), 1 pack of M&Ms, croissant w/ 3 scrambled eggs in butter
Wednesday, 30 March
Intake: attempted my water fast until my piggy fatass ate donuts at clinical that my clsssmste/friend brought. In the parking lot, le dije, “no quiero ser gorda”!! Pero... that did nothing because I still age the donuts MULTIPLE times. ~ 6 donuts (???). He kept taunting me to eat it. Everyone did and I really have that I mindfully chose that terrible option. I didn’t even enjoy the donut and it because punishment the rest of the times I ate them. Absolutely disappointing. And if they wasn’t enough... Thai spring roll, Thai chicken basil friend rice that I scarfed down as if I was going to purge in the next 5 minutes; once home: tuna salad sandwich w/ walnuts on pita bread, walnuts/pecans
Don’t really want to write feelings, but being that I was at a mental health facility for clinicals, my behavior was inappropriate and I didn’t realize just how out of the ordinary my thoughts were when I kept bitching about eating the donuts, especially with two guys there.
Ugh. I just want to forget about these past two days, and move on. Extremely high stress....It’s all I can do... move on.
I’m super bummed I won’t be making my ending GW for March.
At least I tried... 🥺☹️😭 I’ll try again. Quitting isn’t an option this time around.
#136
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Posted 30 March 2022 - 10:48 PM
I’m honestly terrified to step in the scale.
And, fuck.
My
Alarm goes
Off in a few hours. I just need to rest. I need another spa day!
And, fuck.
My
Alarm goes
Off in a few hours. I just need to rest. I need another spa day!
#137
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Posted 31 March 2022 - 03:47 AM
Today is a new day, so I don’t want to dwell on yesterday’s (and the day before)mistakes.
Currently chewing gum given to me by my friend. Left my wallet so I’m not tempted to buy any food, and I’m going to just stick to my 18!hour fast today.
No journey is perfect, but at least I’m on it.
New goal for the end of the week is 163.
Only barrier is today when my classmates and I go out to eat and also Friday if my mum decides that she wants to grab lunch.
I have a problem with making healthier choices at restaurants, because when I go out, I don’t want to stick to something healthy, so I’ll neee to transition to that kind of habit.
Currently chewing gum given to me by my friend. Left my wallet so I’m not tempted to buy any food, and I’m going to just stick to my 18!hour fast today.
No journey is perfect, but at least I’m on it.
New goal for the end of the week is 163.
Only barrier is today when my classmates and I go out to eat and also Friday if my mum decides that she wants to grab lunch.
I have a problem with making healthier choices at restaurants, because when I go out, I don’t want to stick to something healthy, so I’ll neee to transition to that kind of habit.
#138
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#139
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Posted 31 March 2022 - 12:17 PM
thittlelighs, on 31 Mar 2022 - 03:47 AM, said:
No journey is perfect, but at least I’m on it.
I love this. cheering you on this month 
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#140
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Posted 01 April 2022 - 07:52 AM
Bvrry, on 31 Mar 2022 - 10:19 AM, said:
Rooting for you!
tinybelle, on 31 Mar 2022 - 12:17 PM, said:
I love this. cheering you on this month
Thank you both :’) ❤️
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