something_of_an_aimless

MPA’s Granola Wizard

Accountability access
2865 posts

LocationThe End of My Rope - (they/them)

Posted 07 April 2022 - 09:35 AM

Wed, April 6th, 2022

Food Intake: Toast with Apricot Preserves x1 (70), Fiber One Brownie (70), Sushi (510), Chicken with green beans and potato (280), Mochi (300)
Liquid Intake: Water (0), Diet Coke (0), Boba (??)
Daily Calorie Count: ~1,500
Body Thoughts:
Weekly Weight: 180.1

Misc Thoughts: Sorry I didn't get to update last night! I ended up going out with a friend, we got some boba (I'll attach a photo) then ended up having dinner back at my place. It was really nice, we ate sushi on the floor while listening to 50s music and playing cards against humanity. I had a bit more than I wanted, but it was a nice day so I'm not too mad. Today is gonna be a bit higher up, but then I think I'm going to go back to low restriction over the course of the next few days. I have over a week until my next weigh in, so even another 100 hour fast would likely knock out 3-5 pounds, I'd say. My friend is totally oblivious to my relapse, she keeps saying how nice it is that I'm losing weight the 'healthy' way, but she did mention she noticed my weight loss! I feel bad for not being open about it, but she would lose it knowing I'm back into it, especially considering how bad I was before. Anyway, I bought a sushi bowl I'll probably have later. I really want another pizza though, I think I'm actually losing my mind over those.

anitsirk2.o, on 06 Apr 2022 - 7:04 PM, said:

your personal pizza sounds so cute. was it just cheese or veggies too?

inconsistency in sizing is so annoying, i feel your frustration.

you're making progress! i'm sure your next weekly weight will reflect it.

It's cheese and pepperoni! I'm not a huge fan of meat, but I like it on my pizza haha, there's like 6 pieces on it total though, since it's so small. Also I sure hope so! As long as I stay binge free, I'm happy with whatever the rest of the week throws at me. Definitely itching to start liquid fasting again though, gonna shoot for some fasting time next week!

Also, the boba tea feat my friend trying to lick me lmao

Spoiler

Like This

Stats/Diagnoses/Weight-Loss:

Spoiler

"I begin to assemble what weapons I can find, 'cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind."

~Migraine, twenty one pilots

"I was once told that the love I felt beating inside my chest was nothing more than my mind playing an unfair trick on my heart.

And like a pair of dice dancing along the uneven pavement, their fate, much like yours or mine, had already been decided." ~Find Me, Forest Blakk

"Of course I'll be here again, see you tomorrow, but it's the end of today,
End of my ways as a walking denial
My trial was filed as a crazy suicidal head case." ~Addict With a Pen, twenty one pilots

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake

and dress them in warm clothes again.

How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running

until they forget that they are horses.

It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,

it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio,

how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days

were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple

to slice into pieces.

Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it’s noon, that means

we’re inconsolable.

Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

These, our bodies, possessed by light.

Tell me we’ll never get used to it.

~Scheherazade, Crush by Richard Siken

LostInEnchantment

Warrior

Accountability access
235 posts

Posted 06 April 2022 - 11:05 PM

Day 3!
Weight: 133.7
Steps: 11,402
No alcohol

Less than 1000 cal

10k steps

Intake:
Salad made with spring mix (15) Healthy Choice Creamy Italian dressing (30) reduced fat cheese (40) and 4 saltine crackers (51)
Lean Cuisine Macaroni and Beef ready meal, 270
Amy's Fire Roasted Southwestern Vegetable soup, 200
Whole Wheat Carb Balance tortilla (35) with cheese (40)
Total calories: 681

Sent from my SM-A516U using Tapatalk

Like This

#136 LostInEnchantment

Warrior

Accountability access
235 posts

Posted 07 April 2022 - 01:27 PM

Like This

#137 LostInEnchantment

Warrior

Accountability access
235 posts

Posted 09 April 2022 - 01:16 PM

The past two days I have been getting smashed on a mix of benzo's, edibles, and alcohol. DO NOT recommend. Have messed up a friendship and relationship with brother already! No idea what I weigh, last time it was 133 as usual but probably more with alcohol calories and whatever I've eaten that I can't remember.
Honestly my therapy session started this. Not her fault - but I really pushed at some tender spots. Oof.

Sent from my SM-A516U using Tapatalk

Like This

#138 LostInEnchantment

Warrior

Accountability access
235 posts

Posted Today, 01:43 AM

Weight today: 132.5
Food??? Not sure, mainly alcohol. Oy vey. I'm out of alcohol and edibles now, so I'll just HAVE to properly restrict now! If I manage to go under 132.5...it will be my lowest weight since I was 20/MAYBE 21. About 10 years, anyhow!
I wanna break 130 by Easter Sunday...
These are previous Easter dresses I've worn (very Southern of me, huh)
I guess just a big old photo dump. I wish I could figure out how to spoil the images though. Don't just want them out there

anyways I looked awful in them lol big surprise! Nothing recent because...no pictures of that haha.
Prolly delete soon