- Accountability access
- 1682 posts
Advanced Sage
Posted 04 April 2022 - 09:13 PM
Chill morning, didn’t do anything work related until 10:45 lol ended up working until almost 6:30 anyways so
Decided to start my day with a peloton ride. 10 min warm up, 10 min climb and 10 min cool down. I love stacking classes. I figure it’s probably a good idea to start doing some climb classes since I’ll be mountain biking soon. Then I did a 10 min full body stretch followed by a 10 min meditation. Prepared some breakfast and coffee and sat outside on the porch as I geared up my laptop. It was nice
Did a lot of prospecting. Had some internal calls to prep for this big deal I’m teeing up.
Hopped on the tread after work. I finished at 8 so that’s exciting. 8 is my wind down time but I often don’t finish exercising by then
Started trying to plan out trip to Chile.. the country is so big with so many natural wonders to see. I don’t even know where to begin
MFP
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
- LaFoi, Dr Pepper and golden kush like this
- Like This
Accountability
34
LA
Sales Life
- Accountability access
- 1682 posts
Advanced Sage
Posted 05 April 2022 - 08:07 PM
I’m doing an experiment where I don’t drink diet soda. I’ve lost 2.4 lbs since Friday. Sooo I guess it was causing a lot of bloat. There could be other factors too tho. I’m going to try to not drink any for a week and see what happens. Sucks because all I want is a Coke Zero. Or 5. I think I’ll lay off other forms are artificial sweetener until then too. Just curious but I’ll go right back to having it lol at least I’ll have some idea of how much bloat it causes
My husband bought me a chocolate glazed donut, my fav. Makes me so happy. Actually when I was living out of my car as a meth addict, chocolate glazed donuts were basically the only thing I could eat. It just does not feel good to eat and then you add in ed… I guess those were my safe food lol I wouldn’t eat for days and then I’d eat like 5
My ribs have been a bit more sore lately, and I think it’s because of how much I’m exercising again
oh well. it’s not painful or anything tho. I just notice the discomfort more I guessI had to tighten my heart rate monitor chest strap
and my bras are now too big in the band and the cup and I just bought them in December. Don’t really wanna rush to buy more because I’m just gonna keep losing lolAlso I’m just like on one today. Started work at like 10:30 again lol but I need to remind myself I do really consolidated work and do more with my time than others because I’m efficient. I got some really good work done today which makes me excited. I mentioned before I’m getting this big deal started. It’s going to have a lot of executive eyes on it, who have high expectations of me since last year. I’m going to use this as an opportunity to really push myself and grow. I’m setting up all this internal stuff for us to work on like a slack channel and a centralized document. I added the execs to it and made sure they were both HELLA dialed before doing so. I talked to my financial coach and she said those are the reasons they made the stock investment opportunity. Because of the quality of work that I do and growth potential. I want them to be floored at how I run opportunities when they open my doc. It sounds trivial when I call it just a doc but It’s the foundation for how I’m running the opportunity and a big part of why I won that big deal in January. A major factor was deal coordination.
Had to meditate twice. Did some tread and read. Feeling thin but maybe that’s because of laying off artificial sweetener. Not to mention I had a good poop today. I should retake my progress pics. I wonder if my stomach looks smaller now
I’ve been WAITING for this tattoo artist to send his booking email for weeks now. It finally came today and I submitted my idea. Praying that he pics it up. I’m ready for a neck tattoo tyvm
MFP logs
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Accountability
34
LA
Sales Life
- Accountability access
- 344 posts
Advanced Warrior
- LocationUSA
Posted 06 April 2022 - 04:06 PM
So I tried on a pair of jeans I used to wear and they're super tight now 
I just want to cry. I was supposed to have lost weight for this trip I'm leaving for tomorrow and I feel so fat; I even considered weighing myself but I'm too scared to do that. I don't want it to put me in a terrible/depressed mood when I need to be happy and enjoy my time in the city. When I get back I am buckling down on my restriction and losing all the weight I've gained and more. This was a wakeup call for me. I will have a daily average every week of 1200 at the most. I think my ultimate goal weight is 90-92 lbs but I will start in intervals of 5 lbs from where my current weight is. This extreme hunger is going to be hard to fight but I think reducing sugar/carb intake will help. I'd rather be hungry than look the way I do right now.
Reverse Diet Journey
#42 
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 20 March 2022 - 05:58 PM
Weight: 81.4lbs
Calories: 577 cals
Fluids: 4 cups
Exercise: walked around the store a bit
How I feel physically: good (:
C/S Session:
- 1 packet Oreo cakesters
- 1 bite of sushi
- 2 strawberry yogurt covered pretzels
#44
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 22 March 2022 - 11:00 PM
Weight: 81.4lbs
Calories: 580 cals
Fluids: 3 cups maybe
Exercise: walked a bit downtown and around the library
How I feel physically: exhausted. Sleep deprived. Kinda dizzy and lethargic.
C/S Session:
- 1 pumpkin cake slice
- 1 mini pecan pie
- 1 packet Oreo cakesters
- 2 slices banana swirl bread
- peanut butter
#46
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 24 March 2022 - 05:31 PM
Weight: 81.2lbs
Calories: 590 probably maybe 600? Yikes
Fluids: 2.5 cups
Exercise: light walking around the house and campus
How I feel physically: drained but from sleep and relationship issues
C/S Session:
- 1 pumpkin cake slice
- 1 uncrustable
- 1 packet of Oreo cakesters
- 2 fig newtons
#47
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 25 March 2022 - 08:03 AM
Weight: 81.2lbs
Calories: 580 cals
Fluids: 4 cups
Exercise: light walking around the house
How I feel physically: kinda weird idk how to explain. Panicky and out of it
C/S Session:
- 1 mini pecan pie
- 1 pumpkin cake slice
- 1 uncrustable
- 1 Oreo cakester packet
#49
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 27 March 2022 - 06:33 PM
Weight: 81lbs
Calories: 610 yikes
Fluids: 4 cups
Exercise: stairs and light walking
How I feel physically: good (:
C/S Session
- 1 mini pecan pie
- 1 pumpkin cake slice
- 1 fig newton
- 1 uncrustable
- 1 brookie
- 4 nut clusters
#50
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 28 March 2022 - 07:49 AM
Weight: 81lbs
Calories: 586
Fluids: 5 cups
Exercise: light walking
How I feel physically: feel fine
C/S Session:
- 1 packet Oreo cakesters
- 1 oatmeal creme pie
- 1 uncrustable
- 1 fig newtons
- 4 nut clusters
#52
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 30 March 2022 - 05:50 PM
Weight: 80.6lbs
Calories: 590 cals
Exercise: light walking
Fluids: 5-6cups
How I feel physically: okay. A bit lightheaded
C/S Session
- 1 mini pecan pie
- 1 packet sweet pastries
#53
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 31 March 2022 - 08:33 AM
Weight: 80.4lbs (god damn it, had to poop right after I immediately ate so definitely lower but oh well)
Calories: 586 cals
Fluids: like 3 cups oops
Exercise: sex and light walking around the house and store
How I feel physically: had a weird moment after sex where I felt like death but idk why. I’m fine now
C/S Session:
- 1 chocolate cake slice
- few bites of an ice cream
- most of an ice cream sandwich
- part of a pancake I didn’t like
#54
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 01 April 2022 - 10:18 PM
Weight: 80.6lbs
Calories: 650 maybe? Idk I went out with friends and was pressured into sipping cocktails
Exercise: walked like 4 miles
Fluids: like 6 cups
How I feel physically: fine
C/S Session:
- 1 ferrero Rochet
#55
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 02 April 2022 - 08:56 PM
Weight: 80.2lbs
Calories: 650 maybe? I had pancakes out to eat and don’t trust the cals they listed at all
Exercise: light walking
Fluids: 5 cups
How I feel physically: fine but I think I have a cold
No c/s session
#60
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted 08 April 2022 - 07:34 AM
Weight: 79.6lbs
Calories: 610
Exercise: light walking around stores and some dancing
Fluids: 6.5 cups
How I feel physically: felt really drained today idk why
C/S session
- 1/4 of a bagel
Reply to this topic
Reverse Diet Journey
#63
- Accountability access
- 529 posts
Guru
Posted Today, 05:24 PM
Weight: 79.8lbs ?? Wtf ??
Calories: 610 cals
Exercise: store walking
Fluids: 4 cups
How I feel physically: good just fighting off a cold or something and shitty sleep
C/S Session:
- 1 peanut butter açaí bowl with banana and granola on top
Reply to this topic
- Accountability access
- 390 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted Yesterday, 03:39 AM
Gonna add some more progress pics but put them next to my previous progress pics so you can see more of a difference.
So this was the start of my relapse 11 weeks ago:
This was a month ago:
And this was today! From the first pic it is a 39.2lb difference (17.8kg):
- Dr Pepper and something_of_an_aimless like this
- Like This
- Accountability access
- 3111 posts
Omniscient
- LocationPNW🌲
Posted 08 April 2022 - 11:40 PM
Calories total today: 585
-Morning: Nothing
-Afternoon: Monster Ultra Peachy Keen (10 cals) + Strawberry Banana Light & Fit yogurt (80 cals)
-Evening: Seafood Udon noodle bowl (290 cals) + 2 soft boiled eggs (140 cals) + Green onions (5 cals) + Baby shrimp (60 cals) + A&W Root Beer Zero Sugar (0 cals)
Exercise: Short walk
Okay Monster Ultra Peachy Keen is SO GOOD 10/10, it tastes just like peach ring candy 🍑💗 might be my new favorite tbh.
Selfie dump ft. Sushi, from yesterday after I got my hair done:
- You, gold gun kitten and Coffee Breaks like this
- Unlike
#523
- Accountability access
- 3111 posts
Omniscient
- LocationPNW🌲
Posted Yesterday, 05:11 PM
Sidenote - the fact that this thread will be a year old in a few days feels extra depressing, especially considering that I’m a YEAR into my relapse, that’s a year straight of restricting, and I’m STILL not at my goal weight. Fuck this. I hate my life.
- LanaDeLAna and Coffee Breaks like this
- Like This
- Accountability access
- 2566 posts
whore extraordinaire
- LocationNYC
Posted Yesterday, 06:14 PM
aw Paisley, I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling depressive. i can't even imagine your frustration but i can hard relate to the whole eating what you want predicament. it's not even like i want to binge on those types of foods either, i just want to eat them without being a nervous, guilty wreck for like weeks on end. not sure if you feel the same as i do in that regard but it's absolutely exhausting. i'm sorry i can't offer better words of comfort but i can offer you my solidarity.
and i'm sure you're aware but your body is probably hanging on to what little it could since you're at a pretty low weight already, but you'll definitely gain some traction again soon. there's no way you can't lose with your intakes. hang in there.
on a lighter note, your hair looks great and you look beautiful! your hairdresser did great with your bangs, and i especially love how you did your makeup.
take care and say hi to the babies for me ♥
- ☆PaisleySky☆ likes this
- Like This
#525
- Accountability access
- 193 posts
Warrior
- Locationin my arms
Posted Yesterday, 07:52 PM
So I finally read through your whole thread, and I can only repeat what many others have already said: You're absolutely stunning and I wish nothing but the best for you. You seem so so cool and I resonate with your journey. I'm nowhere near as thin as you, but you make me feel confident I can also push through! I just hope you're well, it's at least good to know that you have supportive people around you and that you know to reach out to them when you need it. That alone shows a lot of strength.
I love love love your cat babies! Been thinking about adopting one but I would barely have the financial means. Are those contacts you're wearing in your selfies showing you post hair appointment btw? Cause if not, your eyes are literally piercing!
Also, on the topic of hair, how has your hair been doing? Is it still falling out a lot or has it gotten better since you started taking supplements/more protein? I've been wanting to lower my intake under 700 but I'm just so afraid of losing hair, since I already lost a lot from bleaching lol
And what I've been wondering the most while reading your posts... How do you deal with cravings? Aka the mental psychological hunger you mentioned? How do you stay disciplined, is it just sheer willpower and determination...? Cause the emotional hunger is the worst for me as well, the physical hunger is easy to ignore.
So much love to you 
<3
- ☆PaisleySky☆ likes this
- Like This
#526
- Accountability access
- 3111 posts
Omniscient
- LocationPNW🌲
Posted Yesterday, 11:00 PM
gold gun kitten, on 09 Apr 2022 - 6:14 PM, said:
Thank you so much for this. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes it’s really hard not to internalize the idea that anorexics are “supposed” to be repulsed by the mere sight of food, and even thinking or acknowledging that I want to eat something leaves me feeling a sense of guilt. It’s completely irrational, but nothing about this disorder is rational I guess.aw Paisley, I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling depressive. i can't even imagine your frustration but i can hard relate to the whole eating what you want predicament. it's not even like i want to binge on those types of foods either, i just want to eat them without being a nervous, guilty wreck for like weeks on end. not sure if you feel the same as i do in that regard but it's absolutely exhausting. i'm sorry i can't offer better words of comfort but i can offer you my solidarity.
and i'm sure you're aware but your body is probably hanging on to what little it could since you're at a pretty low weight already, but you'll definitely gain some traction again soon. there's no way you can't lose with your intakes. hang in there.
on a lighter note, your hair looks great and you look beautiful! your hairdresser did great with your bangs, and i especially love how you did your makeup.
take care and say hi to the babies for me ♥
I hope you are doing okay. <3
- gold gun kitten likes this
- Like This
#527
- Accountability access
- 3111 posts
Omniscient
- LocationPNW🌲
Posted Yesterday, 11:26 PM
CarmenYuna, on 09 Apr 2022 - 7:52 PM, said:
Thanks for your kind words! <3 I’m just wearing my regular prescription contacts bc my vision is garbage lol but the deceivingly good lighting + makeup certainly helps!So I finally read through your whole thread, and I can only repeat what many others have already said: You're absolutely stunning and I wish nothing but the best for you. You seem so so cool and I resonate with your journey. I'm nowhere near as thin as you, but you make me feel confident I can also push through! I just hope you're well, it's at least good to know that you have supportive people around you and that you know to reach out to them when you need it. That alone shows a lot of strength.
I love love love your cat babies! Been thinking about adopting one but I would barely have the financial means. Are those contacts you're wearing in your selfies showing you post hair appointment btw? Cause if not, your eyes are literally piercing!
Also, on the topic of hair, how has your hair been doing? Is it still falling out a lot or has it gotten better since you started taking supplements/more protein? I've been wanting to lower my intake under 700 but I'm just so afraid of losing hair, since I already lost a lot from bleaching lol
And what I've been wondering the most while reading your posts... How do you deal with cravings? Aka the mental psychological hunger you mentioned? How do you stay disciplined, is it just sheer willpower and determination...? Cause the emotional hunger is the worst for me as well, the physical hunger is easy to ignore.
So much love to you
My hair started shedding A LOT about 3 months into my relapse, it was so bad that I was afraid to wash or brush it because the amount of hair that would come out was just unnerving. I’ve noticed that it seems to have slowed down somewhat, but I’m still losing a lot more hair than normal. It’s hard to say if the multivitamin and extra protein are the reason for the improvement or if my hair is just so thin now that less of it comes out? I used to have extremely fine but dense hair, I’m not kidding when I say it’s about half as thick as it used to be, but at least I had some excess to spare to begin with lol. I also have a whole lot of short baby hairs that become really obvious when I’m blow drying it, or when I wear it up. It looks like what a lot of women experience after postpartum hair loss, and I actually had a stylist ask me if I gave birth recently when she was doing my balayage a few months back. 😬 I told her it was from a medication and it was pretty awkward!
I wish I had some good advice for you about the cravings, I deal with it by either crying like a baby (for example today) or just distracting myself. I don’t leave the house a whole lot, because sometimes walking past food in restaurants, smelling it, seeing foods I want in the grocery stores…is just too much. My husband is a HUGE food enthusiast and it can be really hard - certain “trigger” foods he knows I don’t like him to eat around me so he has them when he’s at work instead, and if he’s watching a food/cooking related YouTube video or something I often just leave the room. I guess some people with EDs really enjoy “food porn” type stuff but to me it just feels overwhelming and I take a more avoidant approach. I don’t like to be reminded of what I’m missing out on. Even still, I dream about food almost every night smh I think my subconscious just likes to torture me. I wake up with so much anxiety, and then breathe a sigh of relief when I realize I didn’t ACTUALLY eat a Chipotle steak burrito and an entire pint of ice cream. 😆
#528
- Accountability access
- 3111 posts
Omniscient
- LocationPNW🌲
Posted Yesterday, 11:36 PM
Calories total today: 590
-Morning: Nothing
-Afternoon: Strawberry Two Good yogurt (80 cals) + Coffee (0 cals) + Vanilla Nutpods Creamer (20 cals) + Lakanto Sweetener (0 cals)
-Evening: Broccoli cheddar soup (400 cals) + Shredded cheese (60 cals) + Steamed broccoli (30 cals) + Dragonfruit Fanta zero sugar (0 cals)
Exercise: A short walk, got groceries, had a meltdown lmao
I found this Dragonfruit sugar free Fanta today, it was so good! Definitely buying it again because I’m kind of obsessed now.
- Accountability access
- 828 posts
Advanced Guru
- LocationFlorida, USA
Posted 01 March 2022 - 04:18 PM
Things I've had:
- sad grilled cheese + homemade tomato soup
- Monster watermelon rehab (THIS WAS SO GOOD YOU GUYS)
- banana proatmeal
- pineapple + strawbabies w/ cream
- taco bell black bean soft taco
- cranberry proatmeal
- Cali veg blend with sickly cheese sauce (p sure I'm allergic to it)
- more strawberries w/ cream
- bananas w/ cream
- a very sad, burnt slice of pizza + 1/2 the breadstick
Also another reason I stopped posting was bc I found out I'm allergic to pistachios and mildly allergic to peanuts. Idk when that allergy developed but I was out of commission for a solid 3 days.
Look at all these colours though ooOooOoo ARFID who
- pumpkin seed, it’s fine, Palomaa and 11 others like this
- Like This
No comments:
Post a Comment