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Posted Yesterday, 10:23 PM
Weight: n/a
Calories total today: 775
-Morning: Coffee (0 cals) + Vanilla Nutpods Creamer (20 cals) + Lakanto sweetener (0 cals)
-Afternoon: Strawberry Lemonade Zip Fizz (20 cals) + Canteloupe (80 cals)
-Evening: Seafood Tonkotsu ramen noodle bowl (370 cals) + 2 soft boiled eggs (140 cals) + Green onions (5 cals) + Baby shrimp (60 cals) + Dr Pepper Dark Berry Zero Sugar (0 cals)
-Extra: Creme Brûlée Light & Fit yogurt (80 cals)
Exercise: 45 min incline walk on treadmill
Calories total today: 775
-Morning: Coffee (0 cals) + Vanilla Nutpods Creamer (20 cals) + Lakanto sweetener (0 cals)
-Afternoon: Strawberry Lemonade Zip Fizz (20 cals) + Canteloupe (80 cals)
-Evening: Seafood Tonkotsu ramen noodle bowl (370 cals) + 2 soft boiled eggs (140 cals) + Green onions (5 cals) + Baby shrimp (60 cals) + Dr Pepper Dark Berry Zero Sugar (0 cals)
-Extra: Creme Brûlée Light & Fit yogurt (80 cals)
Exercise: 45 min incline walk on treadmill
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#589 
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Posted Today, 02:48 PM
I finally got on the scale today and I’ve literally gained 5 fucking lbs since the last time I had the courage to weigh myself a month ago (88 to 93.) I can’t stop crying. My husband is really confused and doesn’t know what’s going on.
You know how long it took me to lose those 5 lbs, even eating 500-600 cals per day? FIVE FUCKING MONTHS. And I gained them back in just ONE, on an intake that’s *supposed* to still be a deficit. Everyone claims it’s impossible not to lose on that intake but people really underestimate how fucked up your body can be after eating so far below the bare minimum it needs for normal functioning for a year. If anyone tries to convince me I’ve suddenly forgotten how to count calories correctly I’m going to lose it, please don’t even try, that’s not possible. Like I know I’m eating over 2x as many carbs as I was before I increased my intake to 800 and that can cause water retention… but 5 lbs is a LOT and I’m supposed to be LOSING. I should have kept my intake at least 1200 from the beginning. This is so fucked up.
I guess it could be from those weekends when I didn’t count cals at all with family, too. They’ve been more frequent recently and probably will continue to be over the next few months. They add up, I’m sure, even if I’m restricting super consistently in between. It’s not like I’m bingeing or anything, I eat far less than my husband does, but it’s still way more than my body is used to. I just don’t know what to do though because my mom is already concerned about me and suspects a relapse. She’s mentioned it to my husband on several occasions. I’d rather avoid her altogether than attempt to restrict in her presence, and I can’t exactly do that, especially in the summertime when my brother is out of school and extended family comes to visit.
I’m not really looking for advice or anything - just ranting I guess. I want to lock myself away and fast for weeks without any interference, but I know I can’t. So I’m just gonna have a super long shower and cry.
Sidenote now that I’m eating more often instead of OMAD, I have physical hunger cues again, like waking up with stomach hunger, and it’s the most disgusting feeling in the world. How anyone can enjoy feeling hungry is beyond me. I hate this so much.
You know how long it took me to lose those 5 lbs, even eating 500-600 cals per day? FIVE FUCKING MONTHS. And I gained them back in just ONE, on an intake that’s *supposed* to still be a deficit. Everyone claims it’s impossible not to lose on that intake but people really underestimate how fucked up your body can be after eating so far below the bare minimum it needs for normal functioning for a year. If anyone tries to convince me I’ve suddenly forgotten how to count calories correctly I’m going to lose it, please don’t even try, that’s not possible. Like I know I’m eating over 2x as many carbs as I was before I increased my intake to 800 and that can cause water retention… but 5 lbs is a LOT and I’m supposed to be LOSING. I should have kept my intake at least 1200 from the beginning. This is so fucked up.
I guess it could be from those weekends when I didn’t count cals at all with family, too. They’ve been more frequent recently and probably will continue to be over the next few months. They add up, I’m sure, even if I’m restricting super consistently in between. It’s not like I’m bingeing or anything, I eat far less than my husband does, but it’s still way more than my body is used to. I just don’t know what to do though because my mom is already concerned about me and suspects a relapse. She’s mentioned it to my husband on several occasions. I’d rather avoid her altogether than attempt to restrict in her presence, and I can’t exactly do that, especially in the summertime when my brother is out of school and extended family comes to visit.
I’m not really looking for advice or anything - just ranting I guess. I want to lock myself away and fast for weeks without any interference, but I know I can’t. So I’m just gonna have a super long shower and cry.
Sidenote now that I’m eating more often instead of OMAD, I have physical hunger cues again, like waking up with stomach hunger, and it’s the most disgusting feeling in the world. How anyone can enjoy feeling hungry is beyond me. I hate this so much.
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