Wasting Away

nusuuth · May 16

just literally ready through this entire thing. and like.. wow.

i compleeetely relate to that kind of push and pull relationship, and my ex and i got married before we eventually broke it off after 6 years of it. she asked me a similar question about dating freely as well, and our relationship was super complicated too. ps: she was cheating on me already when she asked, despite saying all the same things BB is saying, especially the changing stories part about the girl at the bar. not assuming anything, but just saying.

i totally sympathize with you and the desire to just like make it all work with someone you love. it's tough. i'm not gonna even begin to tell you what to do, but i will say that you are not responsible for the harm you've received in life. despite how high maintenance you purport yourself to be (princess complex, etc), you're still a completely reasonable, understanding and effervescent person. your logic is often super sound, except when you are being gaslit and traumatized. even in those cases, you have a normal human response considering what you've already been through.

handful or not, you seem fun and free. regardless of your choices, i wish for the absolute best for you and that nothing gets in the way of your loving adventurous spirit ever again. no matter what, you're obviously a very capable person who can do anything you set your mind to.

also side note; after reading this whole topic i feel asleep and had a dream i went to germany! so i'll have to go eventually.

GigiB · 2022-05-22T17:11:07Z

On 5/16/2022 at 2:56 AM, CastlesInTheAir said:
Good luck! And hope the trip goes smoothly

Thank you! My flight was kind of a nightmare. I got demoted seat wise because they sold too many and I'd purchased my ticket last, so I got bumped down Then the plane was delayed 3 hours AFTER we boarded so I sat in my tiny cramped seat for 13 hours rather than just 10 There was a family in the row next to me and their four year old peed in the seat during the flight and constantly yammered the whoooooooole time and kept asking me over and over what my name was and if I'd be his friend and if he could come to my house after the flight. I was JUST trying to do work on my computer and did not have time for this..... ANYWAYS. I did end up writing a grand total of 3800 words on the flight so at least that was a success.

On 5/16/2022 at 6:14 AM, clean and pure said:
But there's no way you could you look huge! You're so little. Were they candids? I too hate candids lol.

Your words are gentle and fair, it is evident how much love this person. If someone ever asked my boyfriend a question about my behavior, I would hope that he would respond with the same consideration. & BB is quite lucky to have someone so loyal in his corner

They were candids.... I'll attach some of them below so I can shame myself for the way I look because I currently hate myself.

I hope he'd say the same. IDK he always tells me what a nightmare I am so IDK what he's saying to people who ask.... I hope he'd be as kind

On 5/16/2022 at 6:20 AM, clean and pure said:
I love your pictures . More please!! I love seeing other places in the world. It's incredible and the diversity is one of the things I love most about this site.

I have become terrified to fly or get on a boat, so it's probably not likely that I would ever be able to travel to another country I've always wanted to travel until I realized one day how strong these fears have become

well there's always Canada & Mexico I suppose
You are always traveling & I think it's so freaking cool
Expand

I'll post some more under this and some of the food I've been scarfing down here. Being afraid to get on a boat and plane doesnt limit you much at all. There's so much to see in the continental US and, as you mentioned, Mexico and Canada as well!!! You can definitely see and do SO many things here and you're not missing out on SO much.

GigiB · 2022-05-22T17:22:04Z

On 5/16/2022 at 9:12 AM, nusuuth said:
just literally ready through this entire thing. and like.. wow.

i compleeetely relate to that kind of push and pull relationship, and my ex and i got married before we eventually broke it off after 6 years of it. she asked me a similar question about dating freely as well, and our relationship was super complicated too. ps: she was cheating on me already when she asked, despite saying all the same things BB is saying, especially the changing stories part about the girl at the bar. not assuming anything, but just saying.

i totally sympathize with you and the desire to just like make it all work with someone you love. it's tough. i'm not gonna even begin to tell you what to do, but i will say that you are not responsible for the harm you've received in life. despite how high maintenance you purport yourself to be (princess complex, etc), you're still a completely reasonable, understanding and effervescent person. your logic is often super sound, except when you are being gaslit and traumatized. even in those cases, you have a normal human response considering what you've already been through.

handful or not, you seem fun and free. regardless of your choices, i wish for the absolute best for you and that nothing gets in the way of your loving adventurous spirit ever again. no matter what, you're obviously a very capable person who can do anything you set your mind to.

also side note; after reading this whole topic i feel asleep and had a dream i went to germany! so i'll have to go eventually.
Expand

I certainly hope he's not cheating. I don't know what it is, but I never think that my partner could cheat on me..... even when they have in the past!!! I was always SHOCKED to hear it, no matter what the circumstances are. It's so nice to hear your words that I'm not responsible for the hurt that's been done to me. It's a difficult thing to remember. Though I am responsible for the way I handle my hurt and how it leaks out. I do want to be someone's princess, but I WORK in return. I mean that in I love cooking and caring for people. I'll plan surprise parties and themed dinners, bring you breakfast in bed and make picnics for the park. I'll have surprise dates and bring you little gifts to cheer you up or to celebrate a new job. I'll grab you water when we're on the sofa watching tv, and mix you and your friends cocktails at my dinner parties. But in return, I want to be spoiled too. Make me the center of your universe and tell me you love me often, bring me a coffee or little gifts every now and again, give me a little surprise, help me with the housework. That's really all I want at all.

Sorry I talked on that shit so much. What was dream in Germany about? You WILL have to come some day, just let me know when... We can meet up!!!! I love ED friends and have zero anymore but my cousin.

clean and pure · 2022-05-22T20:03:55Z

Your description is literally how I want to be in a relationship . Crazy

Excuse me but goals ?

clean and pure · 2022-05-22T20:05:31Z

Also honestly, I think those pictures are full of life and they only have me admiring you more.

Wasting Away

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