iwillbeCXV
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5'8" high weight accountability and body check
#1 
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 22 March 2018 - 11:14 PM
Height: 5'8"
HW: 238, sometime in 2017
LW:126.8, June 2011
CW: 195.4, 4/3/2018
GW1: 200 3/28/2018
GW2: 180 Goal: July, 2018
GW3: 150 Goal: November 2018
GW4: 125 Goal: April 2019
UGW: 115 Goal: June 2019
#2
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 22 March 2018 - 11:16 PM
202.8 (down 13.2 lbs from January 1)
Worked in over 18k steps
Veggie chili and asiago for breakfast
G2 Gatorade for hydration
Value onion ring (purge)
Crispy chicken jr (purge)
Cherry icee (purge)
Mini m&ms (purge)
Haribo raspberry gummies (purge)
Dots (purge)
Cookie dough (purge)
Chocolate chip cookies (purge)
Time for bed so I can stop eating. I may try to purge again before showering because I can still feel solids in my stomach.
Goals for tomorrow include not purging and getting rid of the massive amount of candy I bought while stoned. I'm not expecting the number to fall and I'm probably going to walk to the laundromat tomorrow and get in 20k steps.
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#3
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 23 March 2018 - 01:12 PM
3/23/2018
202.8 lbs
no update pictures, see previous post for same weight.
Entry 1:
I ended up binging more after I wrote yesterday's entry. Miraculously I ended up maintaining weight, but I'm really disappointed I didn't see the number go down because I was really physically active yesterday. Fuck binging, and fuck gummy candies because those do NOT come back up.
I'm a little anxious right now because my plan for walking to the laundromat is out of the question. It's been raining all day and I don't have a way to keep my backpack from getting soaked. Looks like I'm going to hold off on that until tomorrow, but I was really hoping to get exercise in today.
I'm probably not going to leave the house. I have a lot of things I need to get done here anyhow, plus if I don't leave, I can't buy binge foods.
Meal plan for today:
Breakfast: 1 cup home made vegan vegetable chili
Lunch: 1 cup home made vegan vegetable chili, 1/2 an avocado
Dinner: 1 cup home made vegan vegetable chili, 1/2 an avocado
*EDIT*
- 2 cups vegan chili
- 1 avocado
- 2 boxes mac n cheese (purged)
- 2/3rds bag gummy cherries (purged)
- 1.5 cups cookie dough (purged)
Water goal: 4 liters
I didn't end up recording the amount of ingredients that went into the chili, but I'm going to high-estimate a cup at 250 calories making my daily intake 1050 if I stick to it. I just really need to focus on nourishing, plant-based dishes right now since I seriously fucked myself over yesterday with fast food, candy, and other food-like substances. If I'm going to eat and keep things down, it should at least be good for me, right? Plus all the fiber from those beans should keep my gut moving.
Entry 2:
Well, I've fucked up. No surprise. I flushed the remaining Dots and the unopened Haribo Bears, but somehow managed to stuff most of the cherry gummies in my face along with the rest of the cookie dough and 2 boxes of mac n cheese, the majority of which has been brought back up. I'm cutting off food for the rest of the day.
As much as I love being stoned, it's sometimes a total hit or miss when it comes to helping with cravings. Today was a miss. I've been very fixated on food today and I'm over itttt. Too much ANTM and SSvSS. Thank you, roommate who started their HULU subscription back up and decided to start binging from season one.
At least I'm somewhat near my water mark? Ugh.
I'm expecting to sustain weight or gain after today. Too much in, no exercise, and purged. What a shit day.
Entry 3:
Added more to the caloric intake. Didn't purge it. 1/5th of a rye crispbread, mini m&ms. I'm washing it down with a pint of prune juice. Bring on the morning cleanse.
#4
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 24 March 2018 - 12:50 PM
3/24/2018
203
no update photos, too close to previous weight
16.5k steps
Entry 1:
Yeah... being under 200 by next month is seeming to be a more impossible task each day. I need to stop b/p-ing my way through the day. Time to clear out the cupboards of any binge-worthy foods. Grocery shopping was on the docket today, but I'm still debating if I should go.
Pros:
- I'll be bringing in a variety of flavors and textures, primarily in plants, which may prevent a binge
- The majority of my food at home is starches, which make me anxious, so putting more veg in the mix will make me feel better
Cons:
- I'll be spending money
- I'll have more accessible calories which may trigger a binge.
I'm stumped, but here's a mock-up of what I'm getting if I do end up going:
- bananas
- apples
- broccoli
- onion
- chili paste
- ginger
Luckily it's pretty dry out meaning that I can finally go do laundry! This also means that I have to eat a large enough meal to sustain a long walk and fight off hunger pangs. Looks like I'm clearing out that vegan chili today.
Planned intake:
- Vegan chili x 2
- Hella water
- dontbingedontbingedontbingedontbingedontbinge
Actual intake:
- Vegan chili with 1/2 a box of water prepared mac n cheese (250+300)
- ACV water
- other 1/2 of water mac (300)
- small banana (90)
- double vegan chili with 1/2 meatless crumbles (500 + 210)
- 1/2 avocado, 1 tomato, onion, lime juice (116 + 8 + 4 + 3)
- powdered lemonade, grenadine, everclear ( 70 + 100 + 190) (purge)
- other 1/2 meatless crumbles (210) (purge)
- 1/2 small banana (45)
Entry 2:
And here we are again with a totally fucked up day. Let's get a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for my dumb ass and inability to do the simplest of things like stick to a shopping list or not overeat. I didn't want to purge today, but once I downed the drink I had to get all that sugar out.
I have work tomorrow after what feels like the longest weekend ever. I'm a little worried about my focus, which really has been shit lately, and how that impacts my work performance. I'm heavily fixating on food right now (I feel like I'm going crazy), so I'm concerned I'm not going to be 'present' enough tomorrow. Ugghhh. At least I'm going to be super occupied for 4+ hours tomorrow where I can't be tempted by food.
Plan for 3/25/2018:
- Breakfast: Bananas
- Lunch Dinner: Butternut Green Curry with Broccoli
- Snack: ??? walk to store in a.m. for a vegetable
Entry 3:
I need to find a strain of weed that doesn't give me the munchies. Wtf. Peanut butter, lemonade, and candied ginger. Why the fuck do I binge on sweets... I don't even like them that much.
#5
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 25 March 2018 - 12:45 PM
3/25/2018
203.8
no body check, too similar to last one in weight
4k steps
Intake:
- Breakfast: 2 bananas, 1.5L water (200)
- Morning snack: 1 peeled cucumber, 3 stalks celery (34 + 30)
- Dinner: 2 bananas (200)
- Binge: Tofu (420), BBQ sauce (40), Ranch (290), Sweet Peanut Butter (1000) PURGE
Entry 1:
I've got 5 days to lose 3.8 lbs. This shouldn't be so fucking hard, especially since I'm massive and theoretically should be losing weight by simply existing. I have no self control. I'm a massive disappointment. I can't believe I'v gained 1.8 lbs in 2 days. Holy shit, I need to get it together.
Today I need to take in calories - partially because of work, and also because I know I'll binge if I don't because I'm a fatty with no control - but I really don't want to. The strategy is going to be a lot of large-volume, low calorie fresh fruits and veg with water only. I'm also limiting myself to one bowl before bed and nothing more! These late night food-shoveling sessions have got to fucking stop.
Planned intake:
- Breakfast: bananas
- Lunch/Dinner: ??? will walk to the store for vegetables
- Snacks: bananas
I want to keep my calories under 700 today, which should be easy. The vegetables I'm thinking about getting are celery, cucumber, and maybe one or two other items.
Entry 2:
I ended up driving to the cheaper store because I've only got $6 to my name. Here's what I got:
- Kale (34)
- 2 Cucumbers (100)
- 1 small Roma Tomato (35)
- Celery (120)
That in addition to at maximum 3 bananas comes out to a daily total of 559 calories. I'm hoping that flooding my system with raw fruit and veg in addition to 4L of water will help flush shit out.
Entry 2:
Hello from the future! I ended up passing out last night before writing. I ended up having 2 bowls soooo... I got side tracked. I fucked up. I also fucked up with binging and I'm tossing all the peanut butter today. Who the fuck eats straight up PB?
Anyways, I didn't stick to any of my plans, but I did get in a shit ton of veggies.
#6
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 26 March 2018 - 08:44 AM
3/26/2018
202.8
see last body check
7.8k steps
Intake:
- Breakfast: 2 bananas (200)
- Lunch: Vegetable Barley Soup (120)
- Dinner: 2 Bananas (200), 3 Pizza Pingles (30), 1 teaspoon Ben & Jerry's Caramel Almond Brittle (30)
Entry 1:
It's good to see that number fall again. I just wish it would have gone lower than what I've already been at. 4 more days to lose 2.8 lbs.
I'm going to start going to the store every morning for my daily food and stop keeping accessible calories in my pantry. It'll give me a little bit of exercise and time to think about what I should eat that day. I want to re-try yesterday without the binge, but I'm going to allow vegetable soup instead of just raw everything.
Grocery list:
- low sodium vegetable soup
- bananas
I'm pretty good on celery and cucumber since I didn't get through all of it yesterday.
Entry 2:
It was way too cold this morning for me to walk to the store so I drove instead. I'm also on a time crunch for work this morning. Excuses, excuses.
Available food:
- 4 bananas (400)
- Light Savory Vegetable Barley soup (180)
- Cucumber (30)
- Celery (80)
- Tomato (22)
- Onion (60)
Entry 3:
Holy shit that soup hit the spot. It's super high in sodium though and has beef broth meaning that I either have to start making it myself or find another type that isn't a fucking sodium bomb. I mean, it can't be that hard, right? Green beans, carrots, onion, and barley in vegetable stock. I just hate cooking though since I end up making a ton of food that just gets either binged on or put into the freezer for all of eternity.
I made $17 in tips during my morning shift, all of which are going into my gas tank. I don't know how much I'll make in tips this evening, but I'm putting aside $5 for tomorrow's food and depositing the rest.
Entry 4:
I did it! I mother fucking did it, bitches. No binge, no purge day. I even managed to get a small munch of junk food in without going off the deep end while stoned. Holy shit, this feels so good. I swear to god if that number doesn't come down in the morning I'll lose my shit. I'm going to attribute my success to napping between shifts and not having accessible calories around.
#7
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 27 March 2018 - 12:20 PM
3/27/2018
200.2
9.2k steps
Intake:
- Breakfast: Banana (100)
- Lunch: Nori sheet (5), Light Savory Vegetable Barley Soup (120)
- 1 slice extra cheese, extra pepperoni pizza (400), bread stick (150), 2 oz ranch (260) semi- purged
- Popcorn (390) purged
- 1 Banana (100)
Entry 1:
It's a relatively beautiful day, I'm closing tonight, and I got my shift tomorrow morning covered. Oh yeah, I also managed to drop to 200.2 overnight. See what happens when you're not a disgusting, puking pig? I'm not gonna count that as meeting my goal yet since I want to get UNDER and stay there for at least a day, but now I'm feeling a lot more confident about the 1st.
I still have to walk to the store, but I'm probably gonna do a repeat of yesterday, but try to find a soup with less salt.
Grocery list:
- low calorie soup
- bananas
Entry 2:
I can kiss that progress goodbye. Whenever I feel "comfortable" I let my guard down and self sabotage. I had to eat something to get through my shift and I was gonna splurge on a breadstick because I had hella brain fog and was getting short with people. Well, I caved after being offered a free slice of a reject pizza (double cheese, double pepperoni) and slathered both of those with 2 ounces of ranch. Whyyyyyy. What the fuuuuuck. I was heading in the right direction and it didn't take long for me to fuck it up. I feel like I got a decent portion of the work binge out, but probably no more than a third. All the popcorn I vacuumed up while watching ANTM came out almost in entirety. I still fucked up though and I'm probably going to end up gaining because of the sodium blitz and the post-purge bloat.
I don't have work tomorrow and I'm worried about being able to occupy my time. There are a lot of errands and chores to do I guess, but I'm feeling really dicey about my restraint after today.
#9
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- 420 posts
Advanced Warrior
Posted 27 March 2018 - 03:40 PM
Congratulations on not bingeing yesterday and today! Hope you enjoy your day off tomorrow 
#10
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 28 March 2018 - 12:27 PM
3/28/2018
199
6.7k steps
Intake:
- 1 Banana (100)
- crispy chicken sandwich, no mayo (460)
- 5 prunes (100)
Entry 1:
How the fuck did that happen!? I was expecting to either maintain or gain, but I dropped to 199 even? Fuck being in the 200s, and I'm never going to be there again. Now I've gotta be extra careful about what I eat. Speaking of which, my dairy bomb yesterday at work really made me realize how much my body can't handle dairy since I've been unintentionally dairy free for a couple of days now. I fucking love cheese, but it's time to cut it out along with the rest of diary. I'm gonna miss you, cheese, but I really enjoy not drowning in phlegm.
Entry 2:
I just took my progress shots wearing a size large men's shirt and I feel like shit even though I beat my goal timeframe. My arms are huge, my stomach is lumpy, I have a massive fupa, my love handles are out of control, I don't have a neck, and I just want my tits cut off. Ughhhh. I was gonna take today easy since it's my only day off work for a couple of days, but now I want to go take a hella long walk. I do need to do laundry and I'm too stoned to drive at this point...
Ugh, I don't know. I still have to buy food for today and it's almost 3pm. If I were to walk there I'd probably be walking home in the dark since I have other errands in that area. What do I doooooooo!????
Entry 3:
I ended up walking to the store so I could meet my daily step goal of 6k. I also swung by BK on way there and picked up a (and my FINAL) Crispy chicken sandwich without mayo, and a burger for my roommate. Idk... I felt like being nice, but my delivery was lacking. Oh well. I'd rather have other people derive happiness from the foods I can't. While at the store I definitely went over my daily limit of $5, but I also nearly completely emptied my pantry into the trash earlier so I kinda freaked a bit. I was kind of also on a mission to find new safe foods far, far away from dairy and hopefully meat. Looks like im going to be primarily plant based. I can't belive I'm actually being such a stereotype. Pretty much all of the foods are low cal. I'm already regretting buying a bag of prunes and not just going to a bulk store and grabbing only what I need for that day. Hopefully this ends well.
Grocery haul:
- dried pitted prunes (100 cal per 5, 6 servings)
- tomato paste (31 cal per 2 tbsp, 4 servings)
- 3 bananas (100 each)
- super firm organic tofu (130 cal, 3 servings)
- sauerkraut (5 cal per 2 tablespoons, 10 servings)
- golden hominy (60 cal per 1/2 cup, 3.5 servings)
Spent:13.28
I think I'm just gonna nab another bowl and head to bed. That short walk took a surprising pint out of me. I think I'm dehydrated.
Entry 4:
Btw, I'm not upset about the samdwich. I got rid of the mayo making this last sandwich ever lighter. It still tasted really good and I'm gonna miss them. Goodbye, BK Crispy Chicken Sandwich.
Entry 5:
On second thought, there was a lot of sodium in that sandwich. I'm expecting to at least maintain, but I'm hoping to drop a few percentages. A pound+ would be really nice, but lol no.
I'm debating not going to the grocery store in the morning. I overspent today and I still have hella veggies left over from a few days ago. I really want that exercise in. Maybe I'll take a stroll to the coffee shop for some tea and then the bank to deposit any loose bills. I dunno. One thing I HAVE to get done is some laundry before my shift tomorrow. I'll try to wake up late, do the walk/errand, and then drive to the laundromat leaving me enough time to get that done and have some decompression before work just so I can avoid unnecessary calories.
P.S. Hello future self, this is Stoned You. Get your shit together and drink water regularly. Piss isn't supposed to be light amber.
#11
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 29 March 2018 - 08:39 AM
3/28/2018
198.2
see previous body check, too similar
6k steps
Intake:
- 10 prunes (200)
- Vegan Tofu "Taco" Salad (370)
- Banana (100)
TOTAL: 670
Entry 1:
Seriously? Only a measly 0.2 pounds? Uuuughhhhh. Not gonna lie, it's probably because I'm dehydrated and constipated (oh the glamor of restrictive eating). Today is purely gonna be water and fiber rich veggies and fruit. I may make an exception for a small serving of beans just to get things really going. I refuse to use laxatives because of how awful the side effects are and I also do NOT want to become dependent on them.
Entry 2:
HaHAAA! I knew I had to poop. down to 198.2 instead of 198.8. That's more like it. I'm still gonna hydrate and fiber up though.
Entry 3:
Hurrrrgh. I woke up at 8 when I was hoping for 12. I've been naturally waking up at 8 for the past week, but I wasn't tired enough to go back to sleep, so now I'm fixated on food and I still have 7 hours before work. I guess it's time to plan out my food for today.
Taco salad:
- tofu taco meat (soy sauce, taco mix, extra firm tofu) 410 calories
- tomato paste 16 calories
- kale 33 calories
- diced tomato 22 calories
- sauerkraut 5 calories
486 cal total
Entry 4:
I'm considering doing the HSG diet. It's more doable to me than the O.G. Skinny Girl Diet (probs cuz I'm 100% lard and not at all skinny), but I'm absolutely counting vegetables as calories 
. It averages out to 970 a day for 21 days. If I stay on track, I can expect to be around 188 according to losertown, but that's not good enough for me. I'm hoping 185 at the most. I'm also gonna change the name and create a new pictoral because a) all the ones I've found are super femme, and b ) I'm not a girl and don't like being referred to as one (they/them as gender neutral/queer, if you give a shit).
Entry 5:
Hooo man, that taco salad is gooood! I just finished fixing it up ad it turned out really well, especially because I chopped off a serving of the tofu making it less caloric. Next time I think I'm gonna use low-sodium soy sauce just to lighten the salt load on it as well as focus on better crumbling because the "meat" is either too large to mimic ground beef or too small and hard since I've baked it, and maybe I'll mix up some quick pickled purple cabbage for a more authentic-ish taste. I'm probably gonna cut the tomato paste to 1/2 a tablespoon and thin it out with water before I put it in the pan so it doesn't clump up on the tofu. I'm also not a huge fan of the kale with these flavors, but that may be because I didn't soften it well enough. Oh well... it's got fiber and it's nutrient dense while still being lower calorie.
Check out that dice on the tomato! I'm super proud of that. No joke, that's the best I've EVER cut a tomato.
Entry 6:
I ate that salad really quickly... maybe I should be too excited about marking it a safe food just yet. I'm gonna have to limit myself to this 3 times a week. Speaking of food (lol, when am I not), I do need to figure out what I'm gonna get tomorrow at the grocery. I'm set on prunes for at least 3 more days and I've still got 2 un-rationed bananas, plus a cucumber, sauerkraut, hominy, tomato paste and celery. I want to get some veggie broth going so I can control what goes into it, so I need to pick up a small onion, and a carrot or two. Eventually, I want to turn that into a substitute for the savory vegetable barley soup I ate earlier this week, sans beef stock and probably barley. I'm also completely out of soy sauce.
Possible plan for tomorrow's intake (I'm starting the High Skinny Diet):
- 5 prunes (100)
- 1-2 bananas (100-200)
- celery sticks (30)
- cucumber ginger sesame salad (90)
- savory vegetable and hominy soup (156)
- 1 cup broth (12)
- 10 green beans (17)
- 3 tbsp diced onion (12)
- 1 carrot (25)
- 2 stalks celery (30)
- 1/2 cup golden hominy (60)
Required groceries:
- 2 carrots
- 1 small onion
- green beans
- savory
- rice vinegar
Entry 7:
AAAAAAAAA! I've been so preoccupied with food that I've forgotten to do laundry! Fuuuuck! I've got 2.5 hours before work. I'll leave in half an hour and that should be enough time.
Entry 8:
Lol. Spent more time at work than expected, came home, got stoned, got sucked into playing Ratchet & Clank for the first time ever and now it's 3:30am and I just got in bed. Today went fine. I'm pretty happy with it. I'm glad I brought a backup banana to work just in case because I was getting pretty dicey there mid-shift and that gave me the boost I needed. I'm mildly concerned about the 10 prunes on top of all the other fiber from today... I guess we'll see in the morning. I'm hoping to lose at least 0.2 lbs, but praying for 1+ lbs.
Oh, and I start the High Skinny Diet tomorrow. My limit is gonna be 900. Let's see how I do with the stress of limitations.
#12
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 30 March 2018 - 11:17 AM
3/30/2018
Day one of High Skinny Diet - 900 calories
197.2
weight too similar, see last body check
8.1k steps
Intake:
- bananas (200)
- taco salad w/tomato, sauerkraut, and cucumber (234)
- sesame ginger cucumber salad (100)
- 5 prunes (100)
TOTAL: 634/900 limit
Entry 1:
Down a whole pound! I need to walk to the store pretty soon to get my groceries since I have work in 6 hours. That soup is gonna take a while since I'm making the broth from scratch. Maybe I'll just leave it covered on the stove and come back to it after work? Idk... I don't wanna eat that late. I may just forego the whole thing and make it tomorrow? Right now lazing around in bed sounds a whole lot nicer than fussing over vegetables.
Entry 2:
Still lazing, but now I'm thinking about food. I'm gonna get through a L of water before heading to the store. I don't even know what I want to get. Maybe I'll do a re-do of the taco salad?
Grocery list for TODAY:
- tofu
- tomato
- rice vinegar
- low sodium soy sauce
- kale
Entry 3:
Lol, I totally fucked up my shopping list and bought things for tomorrow in addition to today... and forgot the kale. It turns out the tofu I had yesterday was more calorie dense than the stuff I found today, so my taco salad (which I'm STILL working on) was mostly "meat" with some chopped tomato, sauerkraut, and cucumber since it was lying around. It's really good and this one is only 234 calories for the whole thing. I'm super sleepy right now even though I have work in less than an hour and a half. I really regret staying up so late (4 a.m) and not going back to bed when I woke up at around 11. I'm gonna try to get a nap in before grabbing a banana, heading to work, and depositing my paycheck. Sooooo sleeeeepyyyy.
ACTUAL grocery trip:
- 4 banans (100, 4 servings)
- roma tomato (22)
- rice vinegar (0)
- coconut aminos (10 cal, 59 servings)
- sweet onion (105)
- 2 carrots (30, 2 servings)
- extra firm tofu (70, 2.5 servings)
Total spent: $15.19
Definitely overspent, but I'm attributing that to needing to replace 2 sauces. If I just went for the veg and tofu I would have stayed around $5. Tomorrow for sure I'm going back to buying only what I need for that day just to make my budget more doable. Speaking of tomorrow, I have to wake up early and go to my mom's to bake cookies. I'm gonna tell her off the bat that I've gone vegan and that I can't have any, but I'd love to take some home for my roommates if they want them. I should be fine since I'm probably gonna be arm deep into a slurry of oats, sugar, and butter and that combination on my skin is very unappetizing to me.
Entry 4:
IDGAF about eating today, cravings were minimal. Rad. Not rad; it's 3:35am and I'm still up. I'm a shithead. Gotta get up early tomorrow too. Maybe I'll just nap tomorrow away.
I did really well today, except for water... I'm under by about 3L. I'm hoping to lose 0.4, but I'm probably jinxing that.
#13
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Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 31 March 2018 - 11:20 AM
3/31/2018
Day 2 of High Skinny Diet
196.6
next body check coming at 195
Intake:
- Banana (100)
- Vegan enchiladas (320)
- 9 cookies PURGE
Entry 1:
Eh... not bad. I was hoping for more, but I haven't been able to poo yet this morning and I really fucked up by not drinking enough water yesterday. I don't have enough time to go to the store this morning since I have to go to my mom's who lives out of town. Maybe when I get back I'll go... IDK. I think I'm alright with the food I have, it's just gonna take forever to get that stupid soup going. Ugh... what to do. Maybe I'll treat myself to some miso soup and a cucumber roll?
Entry 2:
I don't want to talk about it. Not expecting to lose, probably will gain.
#14
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 01 April 2018 - 03:02 PM
4/1/2018
Day 3 High Skinny Diet
195.6
Intake:
- 5 prunes (100)
- banana (100)
- vegan enchiladas (320)
- cara cara orange (80)
- tangelo (70)
- raspberries (15)
- ginger sesame cucumber salad (90)
Total: 775/900
Entry 1:
Somehow after binging on cookies and not purging all, I still managed to lose a pound. I'll take it. Yesterday was really, really stressful. Making food with someone else, going grocery shopping with someone else, etc. My mom has always been a major stressor in regards to food ever since I can remember, so spending a day with her focused around food kinda did my head in. I caved and had a cookie, and then I said fuck it, one happened, it's time to b/p. I can't be trusted around temptation like that.
I'm feeling really low energy today, but I need to get exercise in. Unfortunately, it's Easter so most places are probably closed. Why does the whole country have to obey the practices of one religion? I just want to walk to my favorite dispensary.
Entry 2:
I ended up going to the grocers near my house. I was toying with the idea of going all the way to the health food store, but a combination of stonedlaziness and rain made me think otherwise. The only good food thing to come out of yesterday was my introduction to cara cara oranges. Normally I'm not a fan of your standard navel orange, but the cara cara is pinkish in flesh hue and is very tasty (and very sweet), hence why I bought one.
Grocery run:
- 10 green beans (17)
- cara cara orange (80)
- tangelo (70)
- frozen raspberries (60, 2 servings)
- Amy's Black Bean Vegetable Enchiladas (160, 2 servings)
- ginger root (25)
- San Peligrino (0)
TOTAL: 13.67
I have veggie stock going on the stove right now so I can make a vegetable hominy soup tomorrow.
Entry 3:
Lol. It's 4:30 am. I'm trash and my body is misshapen and lumpy. I feel like I'm not making progress. I see the numbers go down, but I feel the same.
#15
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Sage
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Posted 02 April 2018 - 12:11 PM
4/2/2018
High Skinny Diet day 4
195.8
See last body check
6.8k steps
#17
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Posted 03 April 2018 - 09:25 AM
4/3/2018
High Skinny Diet day 5
195.4
Intake:
- 2 bananas (100)
- Vegan Yumm Bowl (436)
- 3 prunes (60)
TOTAL: 596/950
Entry 1:
What the fuck. I literally burned more calories sleeping than I ate yesterday and I only dropped 0.4 lbs? Ughhh. I barely had anything to drink yesterday (because I'm trash) so maybe that's it? Why am I having such a hard time with this number? 3 days of being stuck at 195 is messing with me. I can't wait to drop lower and never see it again.
Entry 2:
Today was fucking awesome. Not hungry at all, got a really good walk in, worked two shifts and made hella tips, and found 4 pairs of my favorite undies (2 a size down from my last purchase, and 2 "motivation" underpants in size small) and a pair of jeans a size down from my last purchase for $32. Fuck yeah. Clearance bins and consignment stores for the win. I did try on actual brands with more true to size items and my fat ass (fat stomach and lovehandles, actually) don't squeeze into them. Old Navy is popular with fatties for a reason. ANywaaays, I also spent $46 on weed today so oops? The pack of pre-rolls was exquisitely packaged and I couldn't resist. For some reason my older characteristics present in the onset of my initial eating disorder are really taking hold lately. I'm more focused on my appearance. Last night I literally spent 15 minutes in front of a hand mirror scrutinizing my appearance. I'm staring at my reflection much more, even in windows and shit. I'm also more tempted by "luxury" products, a habit I'd been glad to have claimed I rid myself of. I haven't been making a ton of brand-focused purchases lately, but they sure are occupying one hell of a lot more brainspace than they once did.
I really should go to bed. It's past 12:30 and I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. I have a chiropractic one later in the day, which I'm planning on walking to. Since that's such an extreme distance I'm actually going to increase my intake a bit. I don't know what I'm gonna eat, but I'll figure it out at the store tomorrow. I'll put in body checks in the fitting rooms and stats tomorrow.
Night.
BTW, I ate little, walked hella, and had a decent amount of water. I'm hoping to hit 194.
P.S.
Hi morning self! This is super stoned night you! Make sure to call your pharmacy for refills for TODAY by noon. Also, don't forget that you have laundry to do and THREE whole days of not working (yaaay!). You need to plan activity for those days.
Traaaa
P.P.S.
SSY is feeling real cute in their new pima super-comfy thong and oversized men's t-shirt for a sleeping set. Way to live out your oddly specific, and very age inappropriate childhood dreams!
For real though, this is the ONLY comfortable thong I've owned. I'm going back for the other one tomorrow.
#18
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Sage
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Posted 05 April 2018 - 01:20 PM
4/4/2018
High Skinny Diet day 6 - FAIL
194.8
33.6k steps
Intake:
- Trader Joes Vegan Tikka Masala, "chicken" with 2 teaspoons of sauce and 3 spoons of rice (215)
- vegan vegetable soup (145)
- watermelon spears (92)
- golden nugget mandarin (70)
- 4 Gardein "pork" buns (920) PURGE - NOT SAFE FOOD
- 4 Gardein "chicken" sliders (760) PURGE - NOT SAFE FOOD
- Odwalla Snickerdoodle Almond protein shake (230) PURGE - NOT SAFE FOOD
Late entry:
I got in over 15 miles of walking. I should have stayed out of the freezer isle on both trips to the store since I didn't enjoy any of the 3 pre-made slops I ate. The fact that I b/p'd 2 of the 3 shows that freezer food is NOT safe and should be avoided. I'm leaving a small exception for the blackbean enchiladas from Amy's, but I'm considering making my own to prevent binges. The funny thing was I wasn't hungry at all yesterday. Not in the slightest. Why did I fuck things up?
The things that made the previous day so great were:
- no hunger
- my ex finally texted me back and we had a conversation. I'm struggling with feelings for him which is really upsetting my view on my sexuality, but the prospect of having him back in my life to some capacity is more comforting than that distressing conundrum.
- I managed to get 4 pairs of undies and a pair of pants for less than $40.
- My favorite dispensary had my favorite sneaky vape in stock.
- I got about 8 hours on my timecard.
#19
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Sage
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Posted 05 April 2018 - 03:58 PM
4/5/2018
Skinny High Diet day 7
194.2
Intake:
- vegan thin crust pizza (760)
- cherry cider (180)
TOTAL: 940/1100
Entry 1:
I took 100mg of my trazodone yesterday opposed to my normal 50mg. I slept like a rock. I still feel super guilty about binging yesterday. I should have only bought produce and nothing from the freezer isle. That section is now officially banned from shopping trips. I'm also pretty unhappy about only losing 0.6 on 15 miles of walking. I literally had to buy an enema to get things moving otherwise I'd be at the same weight.
I'm not eating today. I'm probably not walking anywhere because all of my errands were done by car so I don't need the energy. I just need to catch up on here, spend a ridiculous amount of time on my appearance, and clean my room because it's disgusting. I also bought 2.5 gallons of water. I'm focusing on rehydrating.
I figured out the outfit that I'm gonna wear when I next see my ex:
- new jeans
- striped Everlane shirt
- black bra
- black thong
It's super simple, but then again so am I. I'm also thinking about getting a wax even though I'm literally just hyping up my own personal sexual fantasies by getting it (somewhat future self: I just scheduled it). He probably doesn't want to fuck me. I look vile, he's in a relationship (I think) with a much smaller woman. I want him so badly, but it's lying to myself to assume that he will too.
I'm not losing fast enough. I want to be down to 190 by Tuesday when I see him, but I'll settle for 192.
Entry 2:
Surprise! I ended up ordering a pizza (Dominos thin crust, tomato sauce, and a billion veggies, no cheese) and ate the whole thing. It was only mildly satisfying since the toppings were so scant. The crust was like a cracker. I regret it.
#20
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Posted 06 April 2018 - 11:55 AM
4/6/2018
High Skinny Diet day 8
195.2
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Posted 07 April 2018 - 09:44 AM
4/7/2018
HSD day 9
194.6
Intake:
- vegan crunchwrap (460)
- botan candy (10)
Entry 1:
I'm so sick of this weight. Yesterday was another fuckup. Binged and purged. I'm surprised I lost. I'm not making enough progress.
Entry 2:
Texted the ex for hours yesterday. I still feel like an idiot. Things aren't gonna work out in my favor. Calling it right now.
#22
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Sage
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Posted 08 April 2018 - 02:06 PM
4/8/2018
Day 10 HSD
194.4 193.6
Entry 1:
What the fuck. I literally had 2 things to eat yesterday. How the fuck did I only lose 0.2 lbs. I'm really dejected by this. I need to wake up as 193 tomorrow, no matter what. Good thing I had a decent tip night yesterday. Time to buy some enemas and ingredients for the master cleanse diet. I'm gonna adhere to that up to Tuesday. Let's see how much I can shift on that.
Entry 2:
Lol. I pooped. I'm below 194. Fuck yeah. I'm still doing the master cleanse. I actually really love the taste of all three components and I think they work well. Maybe I'll continue until Wednesday? I don't know. I just need to lose as much weight as possible before Tuesday evening. I'm getting my brazillian tomorrow, but I'm also considering getting a wash and style after work on Tuesday so I can look hot a.f. It'll be another $20... but worth it. Booking that right now. They're all booked up. 
I shouldn't have slept on that.
#23
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- 1101 posts
Sage
- LocationCalifornia
Posted 09 April 2018 - 01:30 PM
4/9/2018
193.2
Entry 1:
Tbh I'm already tired of the lemonade. It's making my stomach sour with all the sugar, acid, and spice. I was expected to lose more today, but I guess 0.4 lbs is ok. I just need to wake up at 192.8 or lower. I really need to work on hydrating because I've barely got any water in me and it's showing on my dry skin.
#24
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- 1101 posts
Sage
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Posted 10 April 2018 - 09:37 AM
4/10/2018
190.8
Entry 1:
Literally how? I mean, I'm by NO means complaining because I'm 2 lbs down from where I WANTED to be today. I'm 190, my crotch is waxed, I have my outfit picked out, and I bought a new ring for my schnozz... now all I have to do is go to work, go to the laundromat, buy shampoo, take a shower, clean my room, get dressed, put on makeup, and pick him up from work. Yeah, I managed my time very poorly. I probably have about 4 hours to do all of that after I get off work.
Entry 2:
Well, work done and laundry is clean! I'm ahead of schedule. I need to take a quick breather before starting on cleaning and showering because I think the whole not-eating-stuff-for-three-days is catching up to me. Yeah, I'm getting calories from the MC Lemonade, but it's just sugar. No other nutrients.
Side note: If you've done the master cleanse, do you have weird, watery dark green poos? Cuz that's me every morning. It's unnerving. DO. NOT. FART. WHEN. YOU. WAKE. UP!
iwillbeCXV
Member Since 13 Aug 2013OFFLINE Last Active Aug 21 2019 06:02 PM
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