#1 
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Posted 14 December 2017 - 08:38 AM
Heyoo im Koi and once again im tryin to go back to 47kg!
My rules are:
ºEat every 3 hours
ºLess than 150 calories each time
ºDaily intake: 700 calories
SW: 50.2 kg
--
SO this is my story
i lost weight A LOT i was felling like shit miserable weak etc etc so i decided to recover and gain weight and i dont regret it but when i was close to reach a HW i started binging and that ruined everything, now im trying to go back to 46 kg which is the lowest healthy weight, i would love to be 45 kg again bc i loved how i looked at that weight but i just got my period back and i don t want to lose it again so im juust gonna restrict very low until i reach my GW and then going back to eat healthy and maintain
sound like a good plan ?
well i hope i dont fuck it binging again
#2
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Posted 14 December 2017 - 11:05 AM
#3
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Posted 15 December 2017 - 08:53 AM
DollieBones, on 14 Dec 2017 - 11:05 AM, said:
Good luck !!
thanks!
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Posted 15 December 2017 - 08:53 AM
I LOST MY ACCOUNT GOOD JOB KOI
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Posted 15 December 2017 - 09:13 AM
im happy! had a good day with my friends and avoided unplanned food
for breakfast i had one toast with strawberry jam and tea
for lunch/snack i had these cookies and cream cereal bar with Starbucks Cold Brew
my dinner was a package of graham crackers
total of the day: 500~
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Posted 16 December 2017 - 11:22 AM
only a few days to reach my GW yey
yesterday i ate only 300 calories bc i was busy and i didn't have time to eat
rn im at starbucks eating the same i ate on Thursday
im a lil tired of going out to avoid eating in my house and my parents are starting to get worried so once i reach my GW i will start eating in my house
i miss cooking my own food
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Posted 17 December 2017 - 01:36 PM
feeling like shit bc i look like shit
i was feeling confident abt my body then i went clothes shopping and u can imagine why i feel like shit
also my mom forced me to have a slice of panettone for breakfast
that shit has like 300 calories :')
that cereal bar was my lunch idk if i should have 'dinner'
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#8
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Posted 18 December 2017 - 02:13 PM
mom forced to have food and the i binged but thank god i only gained 400 gr
CW is 48.8
i only had 200 calories today im p sure and not gonna eat more bc i feel F A T like i gained 3 kilos or smth and my clothe s are thigh idk
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Posted 30 December 2017 - 04:34 PM
and then i binged
but im over that now im a new woman now
no more binging this time i promise
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Posted 31 January 2018 - 09:37 PM
im to lazy to write everything again so heres a summary
webt on vacation and gained hella lot of weight now i want to lose again but his time im gonna do a edited version of the healthy skinny girl diet that i made in 2015 and helped me a lot
my starting weight is 56.9 kg (!!!!)
heres the intake i have planned
if u read this pls wish me luck
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Posted 31 January 2018 - 09:44 PM
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Posted 31 January 2018 - 09:53 PM
#13
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Posted 02 February 2018 - 06:31 PM
BMI: 22.6
Brunch
Dnner
i wish i could lose quicker im no happy with how i look rn i hate what i did to my body im constantly thinking "how was i capable to let myself get this fat" and i cant wait to be at least on 52 kg so i can get out of my house without feeling ugly
i look at the mirror and i think "hey i dont look that bad" but i remember how better i looked at 47 kg and i feel sad ugh i sound so emo lol
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Posted 04 February 2018 - 09:02 PM
BMI: 22.4
Brunch
Dinner
Snack
Weeeee iim so happy im finally back at 55!!!!!
last night was very difficult bc I WAS EXTREMELY HUNGRY!! And sad but most important hangry I wanted to get up and eat my fridge but I didn’t bc i keep reminding myself that if I ate I was gonna ruin everything!!these days have been very difficult im surrounded by food and its so easy to give up and eat but hell no im not gonna do that I need to go back to at least 54 so I don’t feel huge and i absolutely need to be at least 52 before classes start
I have 42 days to lose the more I can im not allowed to fuck up, eat something unplanned is binge territory and oce I binge I don’t stop until its to late! So don’tbe stupid Koi remind urself why u do this!
-necesito que la ropa me quede y eso solo pasa si estoy en 48 kilos incluso en 50
-mis amigos no me pueden ver tan gorda me han visto delgada es imposible que me vean asi
-volviendo a la ropa nada de mi ropa antigua me queda
-podras comer todo lo que tu quieras cuando peses un peso adecuado
-es incomodo que mis piernas se toquen sudan y me causan irritación
-hazlo para que digan que tengo buen cuerpo para que quieran ser como yo
-mis anillos me tienen que quedar
-mis brazos están muy gordos
-bmi de 20 es perfeccion
-para mostrarles a las chicas de recuperación que no me puse obesa
#16
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Posted 05 February 2018 - 09:05 AM
mellecollie, on 04 Feb 2018 - 11:02 PM, said:
gracias!sueeeeerteeeee!!!
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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:12 PM
BMI: 22.2
Breakfast
eeep im happy
weight loss is going smooth and im like a month binge free also i haven't lost my period from restricting which is kinda good even tho i dont like the bleeding ugg aalso im not retaining water neither im bloated like the last timeand in other news my mom told me my weight loss is noticing and that made me happy but then i tried a jean and it doesnt fit me and now i think my mom is lying bc shes worried im "dieting" again and want me to stop??
i also walked for anhour today and according to google fit or whatever that app is called i burned 200 cals tomorrow i will walk a longer path
my goal is to take 10000 steps!
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Posted 05 February 2018 - 07:12 PM
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Posted 06 February 2018 - 09:41 PM
BMI: 22
Breakfast
lm gonna sound so "princess proana" but I LOVE LOSING WEIGHT my clothes are getting lose and my legs are doing that thing when they softly touch and eep
i went on a walk but i miscalculated the distance and thought i burned like 500 calories but it was only 300 cals
*sad flute* well at least i burned
i also did my meal planer today and realized my whole bread with seeds is abt to expire and now i have to eat it daily so it doesn't get moldy and I don't feel shitty abt wasting money
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Posted 07 February 2018 - 06:40 PM
7/02 (a week already!)
CW: 54.7 (-0.3) BMI: 21.9
Breakfast:
Toast (110) with 30 gr avocado (50) and Raspberry smoothie (190) ~no pic~
Lunch:
Packet of water crackers (170) ~no pic again~
Dinnner:
185 gr of vanilla greek yogurt (81) smol banana (80) ~no pic~
Total: 700~
Steps: 9000~
my bmi is 21 again omg im cri i also walked a lot and visited an "eco-market" which are small stores that sells healthy products is like a paradise for an ortorexic lol
i made friends with the girl on the counter she told me she used to be underweight too and we talked abt periods and when we got them back lol
shes still skinny tho im kinda jealous bc she could maintain and i surpased my "ideal weight" for like 10 kilos( thanks to binge hell)
thats a pic of th things they usually sell in these stores: sugar free things(sweteened with panela most of the time) bread cakes cookies baked with whole wheat flour organic fruit and vegs, natural nut butter and milk, oats quinoa amaranth maca, etc
#22
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Posted 08 February 2018 - 07:01 PM
CW: 54.4 kg (-0.3) BMI: 22.8
Breakfast:
Bread (220) PB(60) Jam(20)
Smoothie (190)
Lunch:
Chicken Burger (160) Veggie Stew ( 200)
Snacks: Banana (80) Sugar Free Pudding (60)
Total: 900~
Steps: 6000 (200 calories)
im dumb and ate too much for breakfast
but at least i *hope* i burned 200 cals walking
i didn't do a lot today the bird we want to adopt was supposed to arrive today but the lady forgot and Snail(thats his name)is gonna be here on Saturday
mmm i feel a lil bad abt my weight i was seeing old pics of me and feel sad bc im an idiot who binged and ruined everything and i regret losing too much and bc of that recovering i feel if i maintained on 45-47 kg i wouldn't had to go to the psychiatrist and gaining bc even tho she helped me that weight gain send me to binge hell and i couldn't control it AND NOW I WOULDN'T HAVE TO RESTRICT AND BE MISERABLE
i could have been 47 kg by now and eating maintenance calories wouldn't be scared of going out with my friends bc of the fear of them seeing me THIS BIG ("omg u used to be skinny what happened" one of them told nme that, he also told me that i look like a normal person now!! i dont want to be normal i want to be skinny)
WHY DID I HAVE TO BINGE WHY
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Posted 08 February 2018 - 08:46 PM
puchuus, on 07 Feb 2018 - 6:40 PM, said:
7/02 (a week already!)
CW: 54.7 (-0.3) BMI: 21.9
Breakfast:
Toast (110) with 30 gr avocado (50) and Raspberry smoothie (190) ~no pic~
Lunch:
Packet of water crackers (170) ~no pic again~
Dinnner:
185 gr of vanilla greek yogurt (81) smol banana (80) ~no pic~
Total: 700~
Steps: 9000~
my bmi is 21 again omg im cri i also walked a lot and visited an "eco-market" which are small stores that sells healthy products is like a paradise for an ortorexic loli made friends with the girl on the counter she told me she used to be underweight too and we talked abt periods and when we got them back lol
shes still skinny tho im kinda jealous bc she could maintain and i surpased my "ideal weight" for like 10 kilos( thanks to binge hell)
thats a pic of th things they usually sell in these stores: sugar free things(sweteened with panela most of the time) bread cakes cookies baked with whole wheat flour organic fruit and vegs, natural nut butter and milk, oats quinoa amaranth maca, etc
where's that eco-market at?
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Posted 08 February 2018 - 10:20 PM
qemsyq, on 08 Feb 2018 - 8:46 PM, said:
where's that eco-market at?
in Peru lol more specifically in San isidro Lima the name of the store is "la sanahoria"
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Posted 08 February 2018 - 10:29 PM
puchuus, on 08 Feb 2018 - 10:20 PM, said:
in Peru lol more specifically in San isidro Lima the name of the store is "la sanahoria"
oh ok thnx
i've only been in the one that's in el polo.. i didn't know there was another one that was closer to me. i guess i'll visit it soon lol
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Posted 09 February 2018 - 11:59 AM
qemsyq, on 08 Feb 2018 - 10:29 PM, said:
theres a lot more in san isidrooh ok thnx
i've only been in the one that's in el polo.. i didn't know there was another one that was closer to me. i guess i'll visit it soon lol
one of my faves is called vaquitas felices and has goat cheese and its delicious *-*
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Posted 09 February 2018 - 07:13 PM
CW: 54.4-54.7 BMI: 21.8-21.9
Brunch:
avocado sandwich with milk 360 ? idk
Dinner:
crackers (115) Starbucks iced black coffee (45)
i snacked on yogurt and grapes
Total: 900~ idk idc
--
top ten worst day of February
my weight fluctuated on the balance today and idk if i gained or if my last weight in was an error or if this weight in was an error
i just feel BAD i should be losing not even maintaining and definitely NOT GAINING
i go out and ate less but i drank 7up that probably wasnt light and i couldn't walk a lot bc i had to go to the vet and pick up my birds
and bleh i wanted to binge but i didnt
idk
im also hella bloated i hadn't sleep well these days and im constipated
IM IN A BAD MOOD
i also weighed myself again an hour ago and was 55.1
what was I expecting at this hour it was a bad ideaanyways i talked w my friends from therapy and they are feeling worse and I'm gonna sound like a BITCH saying this but it makes me feel better that im not that bad
one of them is binging and weighting 60 kg and is the same height as i nd the other one is like bmi 12-14 who knows and is currently ip and forcing to recover and gain weight
i hope they really recover this time tho
. im dumping pics not food related and idc if my English sounds shitty
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Posted 09 February 2018 - 07:14 PM
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Posted 10 February 2018 - 05:42 PM
10/02
CW: 54.4-54.1 BMI: 22.8-22.7
---
Breakfast:
Ham and cheese sandwich
Total: 600~
Steps: 8000~
---
today i tried to wake up early to go to the eco-fair which is a street market were ppl seel organic vegs an other types of healthy food but i slept through my alarm
i i planned to go tomorrow but my mom told me i should wait a week bc we still have lot of vegs in the fridge :l
oh i also SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON BOOOOOOOOKS INSTEAD OF FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD WHY Im incapable of SAVING MONEY
-____- now i have a debt of 200 dollars yES ;v;
i planned my intake for 2 weeks already also how much im supposed to lose by the end of the month and if im not weighting 52 by that time ill reduce my intake, i need to be at least on 50.9 before classes start
i need to reach 51.5 on the 12th if i dont i will restrict my intake
im thinking 500~ calories will do
once im on 50 im thinking on maybe increasing 100-200 cals once a week until i reach my TDEE intake and hopefully lose 4 kilos
i did the math if i increase 200 a week in 4 months i will be eating my TDEE intake hmmm
#31
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Posted 12 February 2018 - 08:39 AM
CW: 53.9 BMI: 22.6
---
Breakfast:
whole wheat bread toasted with low fat cream cheese and sugar free jam (280)
a cup of milk (79)
Lunch:
Chicken Breast 150gr(168 )
Vegetables Stew (200 ?)
Snacks:
sugar free pudding (60)
Half banana (60)
Total: 800~
Steps: 4000~
---
i forgot to post yesterday even tho ii was really excited to write im finally 53ish kg!! mi bmi es 21.6!! and my short size 5/6 FITS ME AGAIN my waits is 70 cm also
yessss
im kinda uncomfortable abt eating 800 cals today w/o burning more calories but meh
Is impossible i gain with this ammount right?
#32
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Posted 13 February 2018 - 05:57 PM
13/09
CW: ?? probably 54 kg BMI: 22.7
---
i dont have any food pics and i havent too much these days
today i ate like 620 calories i think and i burned 200ish walking
---
i cant believe my weight im ANGER i should be losing not gaining or mantaining wtf i step on my scale like 20 times and each time was a different number, the lowest was 53.6 and the highest 54.4 ????????? idk i feel bad i barely eat more like 1000 calories EVEN IF IM COUNTING WRONG i should be losing!!
ugh i getting anxious bc i want to be on 50 ish kg before classes start and what if that doesnt happen?????? i cant go back like this they saw me when i was underweight how im going to face my friends LOOKING 7 KILOS HEAVIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck BINGING I WANT TO GO BACK AND PUNCH MY STUPID SELF FOR NOT HAVING CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted 14 February 2018 - 07:34 PM
14/02
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!
CW: 53.9 BMI: 21.6
----
breakfast: 2 slices of whole wheat breadd (220) 40 gr of avocado (69) milk (79)
lunch:
steamed butternut squash and boiled veggies (200~)
dinner: half a banana (60) sugar free pudding (60)
Total: 655
Steps: 3000~
---
hoo i avoided so much food today the only thoughts i had were abt how much i missed eating unhealthy foods, i really wanted to binge, no like IM DESESPERATE I WANT TO EAAAAAAAT , more like, im so fucking sad i wish i could binge on food i want to eat but cant
and its not like i actually cant i just think i dont deserve to eat yummy food unless i reach a certain weight, and im definitely not close to that wt i keep gaining or maintaining and its making me sad bc im not even eating 900 cals?? also im 100% sure that if i eat something "bad" ill trigger a binge and then it will never stop and im going back to my old weight so ...no eating for me
#34
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Posted 15 February 2018 - 09:04 PM
CW: 53.6 kg(!)
BMI: 21.5
---
Finalllllluyyyshhwjs after 725282 days maintaining
im only posting bc i need to be accountable
but im too tired to type what i ate today
#35
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Posted 16 February 2018 - 08:06 PM
16/02
CW: 53.1 (-0.4) BMI: 21.3
---
Breakfast:
Banana smoothie with ham and cheese sammich (320)
Lunch:
Swordfish cooked in the oven with boiled veggies + fresh salad woth sriracha (250)
Dinner:
2 sugar free puddings (120)
TOTAL: 700~
STEPS: none, today i was sedentary couch potato
---
i want to write in spanish but i want ppl to see but nobody reads my accountability so who cares ill write in spanish if i want
estoy sorprendida por mi peso de hoy, no me lo esperaba y de verdad espero que no sea un fluke... hoy comi mucha sriracha y esa mierda es bastante salada asi que espero no ganar 3 kilos de puro sodio
im feeling depressed again and i really really want to reach my GW before things get worst, im already avoiding my friends and i feel like im ruining my relaptionship with my parents (like i did before When i was really consume by ED) im not worried that worried abt my friends bc they seem like they dont care if i ignore them or not but my parents..... is really obvious they know something is wrong with me and want to help me but everytime they ask how im doing i want to tell them to fuck themselfs sfjdfjds
my mom came to my room and asked me abt what i cooked today and i almost said "its none of ur bussines" lllllllllldsfksj
dad keeps asking me if im eating, what im eating if im really going ou with my friends to eat(a big lie bc i go out by myself )
no quiero que las cosas se pongan peor asi que si es que para el fin de mes no estoy en 51~ voy a reducir mis calorias, estos dias voy a aumentar mi ejercicio
ya repeti mil veces que necesito estar en 50 ~ para el 19 que empiezan mis clases
lo que restan del mes aumentare mis calorias para poder mntenerme y de ahi vere que hacersh
no creo llegar a 47 kilos pero mientras me entre mi ropa estare feliz 
#36
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Posted 21 February 2018 - 04:32 PM
holy shit hey!!!! idk if you remember me but i followed your accountability way back when, like a year or two ago? it kinda sucks we're both back here h a h A but it's nice to see you again anyways!
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