♡ ππππππππππ'π ππππ πππππ ♡
#1 
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 25 August 2021 - 12:43 AM
absolutely sick of letting myself go so im gonna be stricter on myself here.
im absolutely dog-shit at fasting so at minimum ill have whatever cals are in diet soft drinks/monsters/iced tea etc...
gonna keep this like a journal of a junkorexic lmao
want to be 60kg or lower by the end of the year, but i cant full-on starve bcus i live w my bf and i got shit to do...
but i keep to roughly 500cals a day so not to worry him and so i dont pass out.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#2
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 25 August 2021 - 12:56 AM
25 / 08 /21
12:05pm - bang energy, miami cola (3cals)
3:45pm - chicken schnitzel burger and a diet coke (960cals)
10:00pm - small serving of nacho mix with iceberg lettuce (360??cals) (marking as 500 to be safe)
TOTAL: 1463cals :0(
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#3
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 25 August 2021 - 09:09 PM
26 / 08 /21
got paid today and took my bf out on a date. still feel full and awful from last night but w/e...
10:00am - bang energy frose' rose' (5cals)
10:30am - x3 potato scallops (678cals)
10:30 onwards - sugar-free gum (10cal)
total: 693cals
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#4
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 25 August 2021 - 09:09 PM
27 / 08 / 21
10:00am - monster energy paradise ultra (0cals)
4:00pm - a few glasses of lemon-infused water (0cals)
6:45:pm - a glass of iced tea (3cals)
9:56pm - a small portion of carbonara pasta + 1 corona beer (500cals+149cals)
total: 652cals :0)
cleaned the kitchen and went for a walk today. rly glad i kept it under 1000 but i wanna stick closer to 500... but for today this'll do!
called my mother, found out my uncle has a heart rhythm issue?? hes ok but wtf thats scary!! ofc my mum made the convo abt her own heart condition but w/e...
trying to wash out some hair dye that came out way too dark but now my hair looks icky.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#5
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 27 August 2021 - 10:41 PM
28/08/21
1:40pm - monster energy ultra (0cals)
5:40pm - 2 almond rounds (400cals)
9:45pm - a lot of whiskey onwards but im going to pretend i havent...............
went grocery shopping today, picked up some low-cal snacks !!! and a whiskey as a treat.
writing a dnd campaign w my bf <3 having a good night!
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#6
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 28 August 2021 - 10:54 PM
29/08/21
1:35pm - boss iced black coffee with whipped cream (415cals)
5:34 - honey nut mix (154cals)
spoke w my sister today, having a good day. idk why whipped cream is not dangerous to my dumbass brain?? but its safe?
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#7
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 30 August 2021 - 02:59 AM
30/08/21
9:30am - watermelon rockstar
5:45pm - whipped cream again
total: idfk i dont count today im awful at counting. im gay and bad at math
had work today, probably burnt most of these cals lmfao
played dnd!! had a lot of fun
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#8
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 31 August 2021 - 06:02 AM
31/08/21
ate way too much but within a small period of time, without having eaten anything beforehand...
too scared to add up the cals. going to exercise like hell tomorrow.
what i DID have was
- sugar-free gum
- watermelon freeze rockstar
- 2 packs of pocky
- 3 glasses of iced tea
- 2 packets of popcorn (v small packets)
- some licorice in a panic hoping it'll make me just shit all this food out sfdghvc
- small portion of dinner
deadass awful job im doing wtf !!! nasty lil piggy man!!!!!!
only gonna have my meds and musashi energy drinks tomorrow. might do the lawns... skip rope a lot? keep to my exercises like usual.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#9
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 01 September 2021 - 10:47 PM
01/09/21
x2 musashi energy drinks (10cals, 5each)
4:30 - 3 rice cakes (150cals)
lemon water
a small amount of coke zero
20 minutes of skipping + regular workout
did ok this day. got a few dishes done today too. Weight isnt dropping which is annoying beyond words....
its hard when im communicative to my partner and live w him at home every day.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#10
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 01 September 2021 - 10:49 PM
02/09/21
1:30 - musashi blue raspberry (5cals) + a ritalin :0)
also have a frosted berry mother w me (229cals)
hoping to draw lots today :0)
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#11
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 03 September 2021 - 02:07 AM
03/09/21
09:40am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals)
3:40pm - sweet + savory popcorn 20g (97cals)
7:06pm - another musashi lol (5cals)
had work today, easily burned over 100cals cleaning. damn i love my job, dont love feeling dizzy tho LMAO
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#12
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 03 September 2021 - 10:24 PM
04/09/21
1:46pm - musashi (5cals) + ritalin
figuring out how to remodel the garage so that it can be a livable space for my friends in need. it's defs do-able but expensive...
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#13
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 05 September 2021 - 12:16 AM
05/09/21
5:34am - musashi energy blue raspberry (5cals)
10:22am - soy crisps (30g) (roughly 150cals)
10:30 - x2 almond rounds (400cals)
3:30pm - boss iced black coffee with whipped cream (415cals)
TOTAL: 855cals
not bad but could easily have avoided eating those things in the morning...
happy fathers day to the good fathers/father-figures out there!!! fuck the rest!!!
playing dnd again as is the usual for sunday/monday. gonna have fun!
also realized i havent weighed myself in a while bcus tbh im scared <3
but my bf is losing the weight he wanted by eating smaller servings (and less take-out) and working out more!
after abt 2 weeks be went from 95kg to 90kg today! im proud of him for doing what im doing but healthily!!
i think im abt 74kg/75kg and i would like to be 60kg by the end of this year... i just have to try harder.
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#14
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 06 September 2021 - 02:54 AM
06/09/21
5:34pm - jack daniels with coke zero (65cals)
7:43 - a handful of southern fried chicken bites lol (351cals)
feeling good tonight, more dnd more fuckin around. had a great chat w some friends tonight!!!! in a great mood compared to last night, crying from dysphoria!!
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#15
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 06 September 2021 - 08:23 PM
07/09/21
10:00am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals) + ritalin
1:20pm - another musashi lol
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#16
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 08 September 2021 - 01:15 AM
08/09/21
11:45am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals) + ritalin
12:32pm - sausage mcmuffin (333cals)
3:30 - onwards.. jack daniels and coke which i dont bother to total bcus im a depressed alcoholic w issues
TOTAL: 338cals + more i dont wanna count
CURRENT WEIGHT: 72.5kg
very fuckin stressed, fell back to SH. called my mum to distract myself but made me feel worse. good 2 know im important to her though... fuckin sucks. only reason im not dead is the wrong name on my tombstone AND my friends would miss me. i love my friends so much,,
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#17
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 09 September 2021 - 02:38 AM
09/09/21
11:34am - musashi (5cals)
3:54 - another musashi lol
7:35 - whipped cream :0) (400cals i think?)
idk i just use it as a "nothing" "food" when i dont want to actually eat anything.
went for a walk today and did some cleaning!! culled a lot of old clothes going thru my drawers. looking forward to fitting back into the small things :0)
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#18
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 10 September 2021 - 12:44 AM
10/09/21
binged today, dont wanna count up the cals!!!!!!!!!!!
very tired, figured i probably need the food to recharge my body but that wont stop me from freaking out!!!! i know eating is the rational thing 2 do but fuCK
gonna get drunk and go to sleep
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#19
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 10 September 2021 - 10:43 PM
11/09/21
2:40pm - iced tea (6cals) and diet ginger ale (2cals)
gave myself acrylic nails last night but that was a mistake tbh sdfghghy its so hard to type and theyre so tHICC
very sleepy today, weather is heating up and we do nOT have an air con 
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#20
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- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 11 September 2021 - 08:14 PM
12/09/21
11:27pm - musashi hehee (5cals)
3:01pm - whipped cream (300cals?)
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 13 September 2021 - 12:32 AM
13/09/21
3:30pm - musashi (5cals)
5:38pm - tofu (80cals) and a handful of cashews (164cals)
grandmothers birthday today! im happy to talk with her :0)
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#22
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 14 September 2021 - 06:21 AM
14/09/21
12:34pm - musashi (5cals)
10:47pm - x2 sausage roll (618cals) and a jack and coke :0)
went for a long walk today, explored my neighborhood for once, will exercise more tomorrow i think!!
found maggots in the kitchen ;; nothing to make me lose my appetite quite like that!!! dealt w them tho
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#23
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 15 September 2021 - 12:31 AM
15/09/21
2:42pm - musashi (5cals)
5:20pm - small serve of vegan pesto pasta (roughly 300cals?)
11:13pm - a small piece of quiche and mashed potato (i wanna guess 500-800 cals?)
tried a sugar-free mother energy drink bcus it was pink and like 11cals and raspberry so i was excited but its rly gross!! im sad abt it!!
faced my fears w the maggots in the kitchen, did some dishes. walked a lot and grabbed some groceries.
think i burned 100cals? im not good at numbers so i just kinda estimate.
total: over 1000cals :0( but thats ok
also @ everyone who bothers to read these lmao ty?? idk why, but sure!!
love u!! look after urself, drink some water unlike me!!
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23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#24
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 15 September 2021 - 11:21 PM
16/09/21
3:00am - 5 light cheese and crackers (163cals)
11:45am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals)
4:19pm - clif bar, white choc & macadamia (250cals)
9:20 - 5 light cheese and crackers again (163cals)
sleepy day today, played animal crossing and among us w some friends... its a nice day.
lil pissed that im not malnourished enough to lose my period. can i?? pls???
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#25
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 17 September 2021 - 01:36 AM
17/09/21
9:55am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals)
3:42pm - half a white choc macadamia clif bar (125cals?)
uuuh i dont like counting alcohol but wine is chEAP and i have a lot of it lol
i worked for like?? 7 hours today?? im wiped holy shit
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#26
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 18 September 2021 - 01:43 AM
18/09/21
2:20pm - musashi blue raspberry (5cals)
4:51pm - clif bar, white choc & macadamia (250cals)
6:42pm - shots and alcohol onwards hA oops
havin a good time tonight, bf is on holidays. most of my cals will likely be alcohol-bound each day sdfghjk
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#27
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 19 September 2021 - 10:14 PM
19/09/21
- x2 musashi (10cals)
- small slice of dinner (400cals?)
20/09/21
9:30am - musashi blue raspberry (5cals)
3:13pm - monster energy (246cals) + 1 serve of allens strawberries and cream lollies (62cals)\
10:47pm - binged, easily over 2000cals ;; kms i swEARR
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#28
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 20 September 2021 - 09:25 PM
21/09/21
3:00pm - mother frosted berry (400cals)
4:23pm - monster energy (246cals) + a tonne of burger rings :0/ (480cals) felt gross after them tbh
its a restful day, slept in, get to draw and my bf is home so we're lovely.. watching some game walkthroughs and drawing, smelling the rain thru the window. its very good!!! rain is good!!!
bought a bunch of binge food but havent had it in me to actually eat a whole family-sized bag of burger rings, just... most of them. i feel awful but thats ok. i know ill be ok. hopefully the rain can distract me from that feeling.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#29
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 21 September 2021 - 05:41 PM
22/09/21
7:30am - monster energy (276cals)
9:40am - another one (276cals)
3:42pm - handful of soy crisps (200cals)
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#30
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 24 September 2021 - 09:15 PM
LMAO have NOT kept up well w this bcus depression is a biTCH but i dont want to think abt the days i missed bcus i caved in and i had some large meals SO!!!!!!
25/09/21
1:13pm - musashi blue raspberry (5cals) + ritalin to focus now im out of my art block
5:09pm - 1 piece of turkish delight (online says mby 63 but im marking down 100cals)
6:33pm - handful of soy crisps (200cals)
7:04pm - small portion of dinner (thai flavoured chicken patty with sour cream and sweet chilli) (300cals)
total: 605cals
uneventful day. stayed in bed all day. drew a few things.
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
#31
- Accountability access
- 217 posts
Warrior
- LocationAustralia, NSW
Posted 26 September 2021 - 03:22 AM
26/09/21
1:52pm - musashi (5cals)
9:00pm - ribs with potato (idk man i spent hours on this i want to have a little bit as a treat even tho my brain is screaming)
23 . ftm // he/him - xe/xem . australia
ππππ πππππ
lw: 67kg hw: 85kg cw: 71kg gw: 60kg
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